


// SOLD OUT //

by jubilantfray



Series: // SOLD OUT // [1]
Category: The 1975 (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Attempted Sexual Assault, Band Fic, Doggy Style, Dry Sex, Eventual Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Kiss, French Kissing, Marijuana, Minor Violence, Neck Kissing, Oral Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-02-18 13:01:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 55,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2349314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jubilantfray/pseuds/jubilantfray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brynn, Em and Gillian decide to take a trip through Europe following The 1975 on their tour. Could they end up more than just fans of the band?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And This Is How It Starts

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: ALL of my works are fiction. The REAL LIFE PERSONS in my stories are based very loosely off of the real life person forming my main character/characters. I do NOT personally know any of these people in real life. I may or may not have seen them on television, heard them on the radio, bought their music, have their TV series recorded or bought it on DVD. I may or may not follow them on Instagram, Tweeted them, been to a concert, seen them at a Con or had a picture taken with them.

The first time I saw them was at the Royal Oak Theatre in Michigan. All of their shows were selling out quickly and I was **not** going to be sitting at home while The 1975 played so closely to me. Matthew Healy was amazingly sexy with the way he moved and danced on stage. And George - ah, with his drumming prowess and the facial expressions he made - yum! And Adam - his fine lanky frame, but dear god, do not get me started on Ross. Ross MacDonald was The 1975’s bass guitar player and I had always had something for bass guitars. Every time I got into a car and took control of the radio, the bass was the first thing that I adjusted. That term “droppin the bass” - I just might have come up with that. Ha! No, not really, but I did love it when they dropped the bass in certain songs and some of those songs had become my favorites.

I heard their song, Chocolate, for the first time on the radio, so I googled the band and absolutely fell in love with song after song of theirs. My friends, Emaleigh and Gillian - friends since we were like 5 - went to that first concert with me. When we saw them six months later in November at the Fillmore and got front and center of the crowd, we vowed that we would see them again and as often as feasible.

Our plans morphed into a three and a half week backpacking tour of England, Paris, Germany, and Greece, and we found ourselves with tickets for 12 consecutive shows for The 1975! I would partially be on vacation during our backpacking excursion, as I worked for a large auction house that wanted me to assess and take some pictures of some artwork in Greece during the latter half of our trip. We were trying to compare some busts and statues that had been procured in a large estate sale; a true estate sale, not one of those, "come to our Estate Sale!" and it ends up being a garage sale of plastic forks and TV’s from the 1980’s.The first half our trip was to be completely filled up with hostels, tickets for the best band in the world, and I am sure what would end up to be many pints of lager in many different pubs. Maybe even a cute boy or two to Skype with after the trip was over.

When we arrived in London on the first leg of our trip, we dropped our stuff of at the hostel where we had reservations and then headed out for a bite to eat, or fish and chips as the locals would likely have said. I wanted to go to the Queens Arms, and Em and Gillian are fine with me dragging them wherever because my hunches usually pan out well for us. We strolled inside the pub and take three stools right up at the bar and order three pints of lager – any kind of lager we said, which made the bartender laugh as he filled three casks with his choice of beer for us. I look around the pub, taking it all in. And then I notice a group of young men.

They are sitting in the dark wood booth to the left of the entrance inside the pub, right next to the windows. The back of the booth against the windows is high enough to hide them from outside, even if there were people peeking in the windows, however there were none.

I thought to myself _"I know those shapes, the shapes of their bodies"._ I definitely recognize them, but cannot quite put my finger on who it is that I have recognized. The chandelier, if you would call it that, hanging over the table where they sit is pretty, I note. I cannot stand the gaudy black and gold floral print wallpaper on the back wall, but it does fit with the older style in here that I so like. The dark wood paneling, the mismatched but all darkly stained wood chairs, the dark hardwood floor – used but kept up none the same. The group of young men at the table with the only booth back laughs, drawing my attention again.

The first guy I study has on a black leather jacket and a hoodie underneath pulled so well over his head that I cannot see even the first mention of hair. I adjust myself on the bar stool so I can peek around the man sitting across from him to try to see this persons face. Then I see lips, _those_ lips. I could not see the rest of his face, so I scan down under the table and see the tear in the jeans right above the knee with the wiry leg peeking out underneath, and the black shiny boots. " _Wow, he dresses just like Matty Healy_ ," I think to myself. I look again. Wait! Lips, tear in the jeans, black shiny boots. It cannot be! There is no way that is Matty, I think to myself, trying to talk myself out of my biggest dream come true.

The guy sitting next to him has on a snapback hat, but I can still see the blonde curly hair peeking out underneath – George? And across from those two, the backs of other men who also have their hoodies pulled up like the one with the lips, **THOSE** lips; I cannot stop looking back at them. These guys are definitely trying to NOT stick out in a crowd. But there is no crowd at the Queens Arms tonight. One of the men with his back to me, the one closest to the door, has on a wool coat with a black hoodie underneath, but he definitely has broader shoulders than the man sitting next to him. He is about the same height, maybe, because the one with the broad shoulders is slumping slightly in his chair, leaning with his elbow on the table just enough where I would have to make a complete and total move around to see Lips face. I can see Broad Shoulders hand as he takes the frosty mug of beer by the entire glass bypassing the handle completely. He has big hands. You need big hands to play the bass guitar, I reason with myself – is that Ross? I cannot sort out the man next to him, but he has on a stonewashed blue jean jacket and a black hoodie underneath. What is it with these black hoodies guys? Yes, they definitely are trying to not be recognized, still trying to convince myself. I realize I have nicknamed this group in my mind. Lips, Snap Back, Broad Shoulders and Skinny Dude. Skinny Dude? Could that possibly be Adam with them?

“Is that the guys from The 1975?” I lean over and quietly asked Em and Gillian.

They both whip their heads around, searching the basically empty pub, eyes finally landing on the group of lads that I am looking at.

“Yes! Oh my god! Oh. My. God!” Em shrieks in a whisper.

Gillian is not sure she agrees, but after a few extra seconds of assessment, her face totally changes to one of agreement and joy. We have our little fan girl moments as quietly as possible with our backs to the boys, yep, THE boys! OH MY GOD! When we regain our composure and sneak peeks to make sure we did not scare them off, I look around the pub again. It truly is basically empty tonight.

“Isn’t it weird that there are NO other fans here, no one screaming “ _FUCK ME_!” in Matty and George’s face?” I ask my friends.

Emaleigh says in a very excited tone almost bouncing up and down on the bar stool again, “I will GLADLY go yell in their faces if you want me to!!!!”

“UGH! No! I don’t want you to scare them off! Seriously! Em! Stop!” I say to her in a shushing tone!

Gillian laughs her boisterous laugh at both of us. The guys stop talking and laughing and check us out.

“Is one of them going to come over and order eggs from the bartender now?”, Gillian asks us.

We know that the boys have an ongoing bet that one of them has to order eggs from the bar and if they do not have them, they have to do something else, which I cannot think of right now because I am too busy freaking out about The 1975 sitting so close to us, but it is surely silly what they have to do but awesome at the same time! And lo and behold, the boy that I nicknamed Lips, Matthew Timothy Healy himself, is suddenly standing 3 bar stools down from us asking the bartender if he has any eggs.


	2. An Encounter

 

“EGGS!!!” Gillian whispers to us.

Oh. My. God. Matty Healy is standing next to Em, three bar stools down, but he is standing there next to US, with all that glorious hair underneath his hoodie. He turns his face, looks at us, winks (which I think he winked directly at me, but so do both of my friends), and waits for the bartenders answer.

The man behind the bar, older with a pot belly says to Lips, er, I mean Matty, “Eggs? No mate! We don’t do eggs. We got booze and beer. Whatcha’ want?”  

Matty shrugs his shoulders, turns towards me and my friends and smiles, winks again (at me, yes, definitely at me) and says “Alright, can I have some milk?"

"No eggs, no milk," the bartender quips.

"Oh well, no eggs. No milk. What can a mate do?” Matty laughed in his almost cockney accent.

He stands there looking at the three of us for a split second, then flips his hoodie back exposing his dark brown beautiful curly locks of hair which he immediately flips by shaking his head around. My heart flutters. " _Am I dreaming?"_ I wonder. So I pinch my arm and yelp slightly. Nope, not dreaming. " _What_ _are they doing here? Tonight? Their concert is not until tomorrow night,"_ I consider to myself.

“Would you dolls fancy sitting down with me and my mates?” Lips, er, I mean Matty asks us.

I have got to quit staring at his lips, but they are beautiful lips. All three of us, me, Em, Gillian, nod our heads yes, politely say “yes” and “ok, sure” as we slip off the bar stools and grab our belongings and drinks. George and Adam are grabbing three more chairs from an empty table and dragging them over their table as we approach.

Ross high-fives Matty. “Those are some fit birds you got, Matty,” Ross says, “they didn’t have eggs or milk, huh?” The group of guys all laugh. I smile knowing full well what he has just implied.

I sit in the chair between Matty and Ross on one end of the table and my friends sit in the other two between Adam and George at the other end of the table. I pinch myself again. Are we seriously sitting WITH The 1975? Introductions take place around the table. It is fun to hear the boys laugh and joke, hitting each other as they introduce themselves to us. Matty goes first, of course.

“I’m Matty. Do you know who I am? Of course you know who I am. We're The 1975, and I sing for them. Have you heard of our band before?”

All three of us girls express in a calm manner that we know them, are familiar with them, and love them! Our parents did not raise us to scare people away, so we were polite while completely fangirling on the inside. I could see Em start to lose it after Ross started to introduce himself because next was Adam and then George. She had always had the biggest crush on George. I am not sure why because he totally was not my type. I couldn’t really put my finger on what my type was but I knew that Adam and George were not my type. Matty is gorgeous! The way he sings – ah, to die for! But all the girls loved Matty _._

 _"Did I ever have a snowballs chance in hell with him? No way! Keep dreaming, Brynn,"_ I thought to myself.

Ross’ voice was a little bit deeper than it sounded in the interviews I had watched on YouTube, but not much deeper. His British accent was not as strong as Mattys, or so I thought. I checked him out as he spoke. He is absolutely the epitome of a bass player, I thought. Those big hands with long fingers, big strong physique, long but full face - he is a handsome man that is for sure.  When he introduced himself to us, I kind of giggled inwardly.

“Hi, I’m Ross. You probably really do not know who I am but I play the bass guitar in HIS band,” he said in an almost depressed tone, rolling his eyes upward towards the ceiling and pointing at Matty.

Matty kicked him under the table, and in the process he also kicked my crossed and dangling leg making my Doc-clad foot hit the table and bounce all of our drinks.

Matty jumped up and grabbed my shoulders from behind and asked if I OK. I nodded that I was fine. He then reached down to the floor and grabbed my foot, which I had moved out from under the table, uncrossing my legs and had them both planted firmly on the ground.

“Did I hurt you? Your toes OK, doll? Wait! Look at these boots!!” and then he whistled. “I LOVE it when girls wear Doc Martens! Did you know that? Did I say that in an interview somewhere?” he said.  

Ross, Adam, Em, Gillian and George laughed at Matty gushing over my boots. My big toe did kind of throb a bit now that I thought about it.

Matty spat at my shoe and I jumped. The whole group guffawed even harder.

“What are you doing?!” I screeched at Matty.

“Shining up your Doc up, dove. Chill! That’s what I do to mine,” he exclaimed back at me.

“Leave her be,” Ross declared as he pushed Matty from his crouched down position, nearly toppling him over.

“Sorry love. I did not intend to inflict pain upon you,” Matty said to me.

“It’s OK, really. I’m not hurt. You’re good,” I say back to Matty.

He sat back down, took a big swig from his glass of wine, emptying it completely. He then picked up the bottle sitting on the table, turned it up and emptied it completely and set it down hard on the table.

“You mad now, mate?” Ross asked him.

Matty laughed, loudly. “No, I’m not mad, mate. I just felt bad for kicking the dove and falling all about myself afterwards. I made a fool, didn’t I?”

I shook my head no and giggled at him, letting him know that we were cool.

Then Matty immersed himself into his glass of wine and the conversation.

The rest of the group were already talking and getting to know each other. Em and George were leaning over Gillian to talk and I have to admit, it was kind of cute.

Adam sat there watching it all happen seemingly unimpressed and kept checking his phone.

Ross kept taking swig after swig from his beer and then raised his hand, calling the bartender over for another round.

Matty was talking to everyone at the table, including me, no, especially me. He kept leaning in towards me and touching my face. It was strange, distracting, but wonderful at the same time.

Another bottle of wine and six more pints of beer hit the table pretty quickly. I really did not like beer, but I wanted to try it here in London. It did taste different than American beer, but it also hit me faster than an American brew. Ross is a big guy so I wondered how many he could actually toss back before feeling a thing, so I asked him.

He laughed, looked down and said, “As many as it takes,” and we all laughed at that.

Ross is quiet, Matty is boisterous. I wondered how they had become friends. Then I remembered the stories from their interviews, which usually were only Matty and George. They had described how they met when they were young teens in school together, private school if I remember correctly. 

As Matty had said in many interview, they lads all met when they were about 13 going to school together, however they really had never divulged exactly how they met. Matty had eluded to Adam being some hippy council worker putting together gigs when he approached him to be the drummer in his band. When their lead singer left, Matty took that over and they recruited George to be their new drummer. I cannot imagine the band not being exactly how it is today – without that dynamic, it was definitely not the 1975.

So, as we chatted ‘round this table, of course it was Matty who was the chattiest. Em was all enthralled with George, in fact to the point that Gillian got sick of having them lean over her so she switched spots with George. I have absolutely no clue how it happened, but suddenly I realize that George Daniels and my friend Emaleigh are snogging. And I mean snogging like they have been dating for a long time and are comfortable with public displays of much affection. 

“Jesus, George! What the hell? Did you promise her your new custom drums or something?” Matty cursed at George. Matty thinks it is quite humorous that George hooked up first and he certainly let him hear all about it.

“Oh snog off,” George replied then went straight back to stuffing his tongue down Em’s throat.

“Looks like YOU are the one snogging off, mate,” Ross said to George.

George flipped off the entire table without even turning around to even acknowledge the group with anything other than his middle finger high in the air.

“Yep, little Georgie, knocking ‘em dead,” Adam chided him.   

George turned to look at Adam at that point and tried to say something, but Em just kept pulling him back shoving her tongue down his throat.

The boys finally left them alone, but there were still many comments about how George usually was not quite this friendly quite this fast.

Adam divulged to those of us at the table not snogging about how much he missed his girlfriend, Lucy. I honestly had no clue that Adam even had a girlfriend, but he seemed to be quite smitten with her from the way he talked.

Adam told us that Lucy was from an affluent family, boat loads of money. She was a model, like Gemma, and when Adam told us this, Matty cringed. There was still some bad blood between Matty and Gemma Janes from their break up last year. I felt for Matty at that point. He kind of retreated back into himself after that comment and even brought his knees up to his chest with the heels of his shoes resting on the bench where he sat. Apparently Lucy had three homes as Adam continued to blather on about her, one in London, but she was away in Paris at the moment doing a modeling gig – with Gemma. Matty cringed again.

I reached over and put my hand on Matty’s knee and told him how excited we were for their show the next night. Playing in Royal Albert Hall is amazing, I told him. He came out of his shell again with that and literally gushed about how excited he was to play there. He said that the last time he had done so was on his birthday just the past April and that his entire family, save for his Grandmother Annie, had been there for the show. He, Ross and Adam reminisced about the show and great it was, how huge the venue was and that the audience was amazing. This really pumped me up for the show tomorrow night! I could not wait!

George and Em disappeared into a corner booth to continue their snogging and who knows what else. I mean, why would they want to be in a booth, in a dark corner with less eyes on them. Three guesses and the first two don’t count.

More people started pouring into the pub and the atmosphere changed slightly. Matty slid over towards Gillian and patted the seat next to him inviting me to sit there. So I did what any sane 1975 fan would do and I sat next to Matty Healy! He put his arm around me on one side and the other around Gillian.

Our conversation moved to where we were from, what we were doing, and I have to say, I was a bit apprehensive about letting on that we were following these guys, the ones that we were sitting with, except for snogging boy, for their next 12 gigs. But surprisingly enough, they were very gracious and even interesting in why we decided to do that and how we were going about it. We talked trains and travels, leaving cells phones in planes, losing time and mixing your days and nights up. it felt like sitting with old friends, chatting away about normal life. 

The night ended way too soon, because the guys had interviews lined up back to back the next morning starting at 6 am, but my belly was full of English beer and my heart was full from good conversation with the boys. THE BOYS! I was still geeking out that I was sitting with the 1975! We got hugs all around and Em and George shared phone numbers. Well, good on her! We told the guys that we would see them tomorrow night – them on the stage and hopefully us right up in front of the stage!


	3. Why Do You Talk So Loud?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes, totally wrecked ... a first kiss.

 

And that was exactly how it happened the next night. We were right up in front of the stage, Em complaining that she could not see George very well even though she had been texting George all day while we were sightseeing – you know the usual, Big Ben, the Tower of London, St. Paul’s Cathedral – the usual. Gillian was jumping up and down with me and the rest of the crowd screaming the songs back to Matty as he sang. Matty noticed us and smiled big. At one point, he came down off the stage, grabbed my phone, turned around and took a selfie of me, my friends and himself. I posted it to Instagram and Twitter immediately! All of the girls and some guys even around us were screaming in our faces that we were the luckiest bitches in the entire world. We certainly felt so. Unbeknownst to them, we had also spent the previous evening having drinks and conversation, and someone got to snog, with the guys on the stage.

After the show, we went around to the back of the hall in hopes to see the guys. When they finally came out of the back exit, it was well past midnight. George saw Em right quick, came over, snatched her from the crowd and over the metal barrier in one fell swoop. He snogged her right there in front of everyone, much to the chagrin of many fans. Matty was signing autographs and taking selfies with some of the crowd but when he got to us, he handed me a slip of paper with the name of a bar on it and _1 am_ scribbled on it. My heart dropped into my stomach, or my stomach rose into my chest, or something, but I freaking the fuck out that I was going to hang out with these guys again!

We found the bar in quick order (thanks to Google and MapQuest) and when we entered, the place was packed. My heart dropped thinking that we would either never get to have a nice quiet conversation like last night or that Matty and the guys wouldn’t even show up. I searched the crowd for a bit and finally saw a big white hand shoot up in the air and I realized it was George. Em had texted him wondering if they were there and George just threw his hand in the air so she could find him. Smart on them.

There was a VIP area in this bar and the boys had it all to themselves, well to themselves with some of their friends and family. George had come to the front of the bar and brought us back with him. Drinks were flowing and there were some finger foods on trays making their way around the room. There were tons of models. None of which were Adam’s girl though. That was obviously as he stood in the corner with his arms crossed looking at his phone. Poor guy.

As soon as Matty spotted us, he quickly crossed the room completely leaving some girl hanging on his last word, and pulled us in for big hugs. He kept his arm around me, however, pulling me in even closer.

“You look fit tonight, Brynn,” he whispered to me.

Of course, I blushed like big time! “Thanks, Matty,” I squeaked out.

All that night, Matty would randomly put his arm around me as he guided me from person to person talking about this and that, usually about the gig that just finished, the awesome new guitar he just purchased, and how much he missed Pip, his dog that just passed away, and his grandmother Annie. I had no idea where Gillian ended up, and of course, Em was off snogging with George in a dark corner.

Ross followed as Matty drug me from one area to the other of the VIP lounge. Ross’ friend, John Waugh, who was also their sax player, stuck with us as well. Ross was a very interesting chap I found out. While Matty was chatting up some producer (I still couldn't believe we were rubbing elbows with these people!!), Ross and I chatted about life and traveling and antiques and art. I found myself turning back to Ross for more conversation when Matty would start talking about the same thing with the person we were standing with, same thing that he had just talked about with the previous person. Not that Matty was not interesting, but how many times can you say " _that’s interesting"_ and nod your head?

I found myself comparing Ross and Matty. Ross was tall, had broad shoulders (well, his nickname in my mind was Broad Shoulders after all), and he had dark features – dark hair, dark brown eyes, and a nicely shaped beard. I wondered if it was soft. Matty was fit, but thin and compacted into a smaller frame. I adored Matty's hair, and his accent was to die for. As I talked to Ross, I measured him up in my mind. Then when I turned back to Matty, I tried to picture myself dating him. " _Yeah, I could totally date Matt Healy_ ," I thought to myself. Matty was pulling me in closer and planted a kiss on my forehead. I was puzzled with the show of affection, but just smiled at him. Then he started talking about that same thing again, his new guitar, how cool it was and I noticed myself noticing Ross’ arms. They were really long and his hands were big as he reached out to grab a drink off a tray as it passed. When he asked me if I would like another drink, I found that he had a mole on his forehead right near the crown line of his hair and I was totally intrigued by it. I wanted to touch it, kiss it even. " _Woah, wait Brynn_ ," I thought, " _Matty Healy has his arm around you. Matty FUCKING Healy!"_ So I brought my attention back to Matty. 

Two hours must have passed by this point, and Matty was pulling me in closer and tighter. I think Ross finally gave up trying to have a conversation with us and made his exit with Waughy.

Each of the next four days and nights were like this. Gillian, Em and I were tourists during the day, fan girls at night at the 1975 concert, and hobnobbers later in the night and early morning when we rubbed elbows with the 1975 band members and many other celebrities, producers, directors, models and wannabes. I would be pulled into Matty’s chest by his arm, or his arm would be looped into mine, or his hand would be interlaced with my hand and he would lead me around the room talking to people. He was always polite, introducing me to this person and that, having the same conversations over and over again. And again, I would chat with Ross and whoever was tagging along with us. Sometimes it was Adam, sometimes it was John Waugh and Adam, sometimes it was just Waughy, or Em and George would join us when they came up for a breath of fresh air, and occasionally I would even spot Gillian. She was having a blast getting to know all of these people. I found myself looking forward to having conversation with Ross, as he was so knowledgeable in the art world and so very funny. But he would shut down each night after a while, and I just chalked it up to him being weird, or drunk, or something. I finally put my finger on it when I noticed that he would do so as soon as Matty would pull me in tight for a hug or hold my hand or place a kiss on my face or head. Ross would look down or just turn and walk away. I wondered if he did not like public displays of affections or what it might have been. Maybe Ross has a crush on Matty, I thought. Sometimes Ross would just suddenly show back up in the group chatting as if he had never walked away and when our eyes met, I would blush. What on earth? Why was I blushing at Ross? I mean, he was handsome, that was for damn sure, but I was standing here with Matthew Healy who was totally wrapped around me. But Ross ….

On that fourth night, as people started to leave the lounge area, Matty asked me if I liked to dance.

“Yeah, who doesn’t?” I said. I was comfortable talking to Matty. It was like we had been friends forever. 

“Want to go dance out at the bar in the back of the hall?” Matty asked me.

“I would love to!” I told Matty, surprised that he had asked me, but thrilled none the less.

He took my hand then and led me through the glass doors that separated the lounge and the rest of the bar. Most of the crowd had left, but there was still a DJ there playing.

“He’s here for another hour,” Matty said pointing lazily to the DJ.

“How do you know?” I asked him.

“I paid him to stay,” he said smiling at me and then pulling me by my hand spinning me in a circle then straight into his arms.

 _Oh, he’s a romantic, huh?_ I thought to myself.

As we danced in each other’s arms, slowly even though the song was not slow, Matty asked me more about myself, you know, the usual where I had grown up, my full name, what my favorites were -  color, food, movie, song, and gave me his undivided attention with his gorgeous nearly black eyes staring back into mine. One of his hands was on the small of my back pulling me close into him and the other higher on my back so that his forearm strategically caressed my breast when we swayed in that direction.

 _He is a handsome man,_ I thought. _And those lips._

He caught me staring him then. He looked me in the eye, then down to my lips, and then said “Were you thinking about kissing me?”

I almost died right then and there. _Was I thinking about kissing him? What girl DIDN’T think about kissing Matty Healy at one point in their life? Seriously! Was I thinking about …._

And then he was kissing me. Softly at first, just his lips gently on mine, as we continued to sway to whatever song that was playing in the background. I think it might have been Pittbull’s song Bon Bon, but I really was so lost in Matty and the moment. Aren’t you supposed to remember the first song you dance to and the song that was playing the first time you kiss someone?! Well, I really don’t. Must have been having an out of body experience.

 _Soft lips_ , I thought, then felt both of his hands on the middle of my back pulling me in tight to him. His lips parted as he continued the kiss, then I felt his tongue. _Oh my god, I was snogging with Matty Healy!_ My heart raced at remembering that and I lost focus for a minute. His kiss was now becoming more aggressive as he tried to get my lips to part for him. When I did, the kiss was all tongue, sloppy and wet, occasionally his teeth hit up against mine and I totally felt like I was kissing someone who had no idea what they were doing. I tried to match the movement of his tongue, relish in the feeling, but it nearly impossible. 

We pulled away and just looked at each other. Then we laughed. And laughed.

“That was AWFUL,” he said resting his forehead on mine.

“Yeah, what was that?” I responded.

“I felt like I didn’t know how to snog a girl, or that I was snogging my …,” Matty stopped suddenly.

“Like you were snogging your what?” I asked him.

Then he started laughing again throwing his head back, and I watched his Adam's apple bob as his laughter increased.

Finally he said to me, “Brynn, you are beautiful and I really enjoy being with you. I thought that maybe I was developing a crush on you and wanted to see where it might go. But after THAT!” and he started laughing again, this time quieter, arms still around me.

But, I was crushed. _Ok, so Matt Healy thinks I can’t kiss. Great!_ I wiggled out of his clutch and turned my back on him at that point and started to walk away, but he grabbed my elbow and spun me back around and drew me to his chest. He was still snorting a bit and finally said, “Let me explain.”

“Ok, you better start fast, because if I walk out of that door right now with my face as bright as it is, London will think the sun rose 3 hours early,” I told him.

He snorted again trying to suppress his laugh. Then he sighed, held up a finger and finally said, “Brynn, like I said, you are fit! And I mean FIT! Thought maybe I was developing an affection to you, so I kissed you. That is how I can tell whether there is something there. But that, well that was the worst kiss I have ever had in my life. Worse than when I kissed a girl for the very first time in my life. And … wait! Don’t walk away again!" because I started to walk away at that point, "AND", he continued “ .. I figured out why while I was kissing you. You are interesting, and funny, and beautiful and fit, yeah, I already said that, and I would totally shag you if you would let me, but I think of you more like a sister I think and I have never had a sister so I think that is why that kiss of ours was so terrible because I was fucking kissing my sister!” at which point I put a finger over his lips to make him stop talking.

And then I started laughing. And nodding my head. “Yes! Oh my god, Matty! Yes! You are so right. It is more like we are brother and sister than it is anything else. And ugh! That kiss was terrible! Let’s promise to NEVER do that again!” I told him.

And then I saw Ross, standing in the doorway of the VIP lounge. He had been watching us, seen our kiss. He dropped his gaze, walked away with his head hanging. I was devastated, but I didn’t fully understand why at that point. The look on his face was sheer and utter disappointment. Maybe he really did fancy Matty?


	4. Don't Call It A Fight

Don't Call It A Fight

We were on the train to the next town. I had been dozing off and on since it left the station. The night before had been fun and great, but really weird and my stomach was all in knots. Matty and I had tried, deciding that we were better friends than anything else. And he was so right - it felt more like sibling love than anything. Em, Gillian and I had gone back to the hostel, falling asleep quickly from near exhaustion. It had been a whirlwind this past week. Then I felt my phone buzz in my hands. 

 _I wanna see you, but you’re not mine_ said what I could see of the text.

I quickly slid the lock screen open, punched in my four digit password to look at the entire text that had to be from Matty. Wait. What? This is from Ross.

Ross and I had been texting since the guys left ahead of us to go to the next city for another gig, but it had been friendly up until now. Like “Hi! Whatcha up to” and stuff like that, nothing deep or anything. Well, except for the lyrics he would send me and I had to guess the song. I was 33 out of 35 right so far. They were not all The 1975 songs though. He was good at this game!

Matty and I also texted but it was much the same as with Ross, friendly and all that, and I had received a few messages from George as well. The ones from George were just trying to find Em. He and Em had really hit it off fast and Em’s head was in the clouds. It looked like George’s heads were in the clouds, too. Yes, that was plural. I didn’t know George, but I wondered if he were the settle down type.

I looked at my phone again.

Ross: I wanna see you, but you're not mine

Brynn: I love that lyric! Such a great song! Falling For You. 

Ross: Yeah, it is a good song, but that's not what I mean. Not this time.

Brynn: Oh, whatchu on about then?

Ross: I want to see you, Brynn. I don't know how to ask other than that.

Brynn: Oh! I want to see you and the guys again too :) we are almost in Paris now. Maybe all of us can meet up somewhere?

Ross: I mean, I wanna see you, but you're not mine. Am I right? Are you and Matty together?

Brynn: Not right now

He knows we aren’t together right now. Matty should be with him, at rehearsal or pre-show or whatever ritual they chose to do today. My phone buzzed. It was Ross, again.

Ross: I mean, are you and Matty together after last night? Are the two of you tight?

Ok, I was sleepy, but boy did it take me a long time to catch onto what he was saying. But what was ROSS implying?

Brynn: Do you mean TOGETHER together as in a relationship together? If so, Matty and I are NOT together. 

I pushed send, watching the message send bar slide from the left side of the phone to the right. Delivered, it indicated. I held my phone, chewing my bottom lip. Why would he ask if Matty and I were together? 

Ross: Weren't you with him last night?

Brynn: Yeah, you saw us didn't you?

Ross: I heard you too.

Brynn: heard us?

Ross: Wasn't that you with him last night in his room?

Brynn: No, it was not me in his room last night. I've never been in a hotel room with Matty.

Ross: Ugh, I'm sorry.

Brynn: It's ok. I'm confused though ??

Ross: But I thought you were with Matty as in a relationship together.

Brynn: I’m not with Matty. 

Ross: You guys seem pretty tight, affectionate. You two hold hands a lot. He's always cuddling you, hugging you, putting his arm around you like you are dating. 

Brynn: Yes, he holds my hand, we cuddle, but it’s not like that. He is sweet and all, but I am sure that there is nothing there on his side and definitely nothing on mine.

Ross: He kissed you last night, yeah?

Matty had kissed me, and even though it was an attempt at a passionate kiss on both of our sides, it just wasn’t right. Matty might have been a good kisser, but I would never know and the feelings were just not there. Matty was really more of a friend and I knew that in the short time that we had known the band mates. I didn’t have anything more than brotherly feelings for him. He is a cool guy, but he and I just would not work.

Brynn: Yes, he did kiss me last night, but he’s like a brother to me, a good friend, that’s all. It will never been anything more for us as we found out last night.

Ross: Oh. Ok.

I waited after receiving that last line. He was typing, I could see the little dots flashing indicating that another message was being formed. And I waited. Nervously.  

Ross: I wanna see you, Brynn, as in date you. As in I want to see just you, but I can’t step on Matty’s toes. I have to be sure that there is nothing between you two. We have never fought over a girl but I wanna see you. 

My heart leapt! What!? He wants to SEE ME?! Ross does?! Oh my gosh, I thought that he was just being nice to me, friendly and flirty and that he did that with all and I mean ALL the other girls. He had seemed to hate it when Matty and I were cuddling, always looking down or walking away. I remembered the feeling that I got when he would walk away when Matty would put his arm around me when we were all hanging out. But Ross. My stomach rolled with butterfly feelings and my heart leapt again just thinking about him. _Stop it!_ I told myself. I typed as fast as my thumbs would allow me.

Brynn: You should ask Matty about me and him in case you are worried. I assure you, we are nothing but friends :)

Brynn: Oh, and Ross, I want to see you, too :)

Ross: See you soon then?

Brynn: As soon as possible!

Ross: Meet up time and place as soon as I can arrange it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Em, Gillian and I had just left the euro rail station walking to the hostel where we were staying. Gillian nudged me with her elbow as we walked along the street and asked if I was OK.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just gotta pee. I hate the restrooms on the rails ya know. Oh, and Ross texted me,” I responded.

“So? Doesn’t Ross always text you?” she said.

“Yeah, but it was different this time. I really gotta pee. How much further to the hostel do you think, Em?” I asked my blonde-haired friend.

I reflected on Ross’ text as we hustled our way to the hostel. I relished in the fact that Ross’ also texted like I did most of the time; full sentences, punctuation, capitalization, as if writing a letter to someone. I always did that and could not stand it when someone would use the letter u for the word you and other shortcuts. Type is out, man! It doesn’t take that much longer and it was SO much easier to read and understand. I did use the abbreviations that were common like lol for laugh out loud and some of the others, like ttyl for talk to you later, but that was different.

I was in the loo at our hostel when the next text arrived. It was George and my heart sank. I had hoped to hear from Ross again. 

George: Is Em around?

Of course it was George looking for Em. They were tight.

Brynn: She is, but her phone had died and it's charging right now.

Emaleigh’s American phone plan with the added international service was not as good as mine apparently. When we were in the Chunnel, her phone got no service at all. I guess the 3 hours and 15 minutes it took us to get from London to Paris was just too long for those guys to be apart. They are cute, I thought to myself.

George: Thanks doll!

Just as quickly as I could read that text, another text from George arrived.

George: Oh, and what is up with Ross and Matty? Are they are having an argument over you?!!!

WHAT? Oh my god, no! I washed my hands in the loo and texted him back.

Brynn: George, please tell me you are joking!

I walked down the hall back to our community room as quickly as possible still texting with George.

George: Nope, not joking. Maybe you girls should come to the venue? ;)

Brynn: Yep, be there as fast as we can.

George: I will tell the doorman to expect you three. 

Em and Gillian were storing their bags under our bunk beds in the trunks that they provide in each hostel. You had to have your own lock for the trunk, but your stuff was secure at least.

“Do you guys want to head over to the venue? George is looking for Em and um, something else is going on,” I told my friends.

They of course wanted all the info and I filled them in as we walked as fast as we could the 10 blocks to where our favorite band, The 1975 was playing that night. Gillian was freaking out that Ross had professed his undying love to me, to which I responded that it was not it at all. Then she tried to make us run so she could watch Ross and Matty beat the crap out of each other – over me. I was still in shock and disbelief, had fear and butterflies in my stomach fighting each other and heart palpitations out the wazoo. _What the hell was going on?_


	5. When You Know It's A War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matty and Ross go at each other ... over a girl!

When we arrived at La Trabendo, the band’s security guard was at the rear entrance and looked at us as if we were crazed fans. Well, we were crazed, and we were fans, but we were not both, not together. I was crazed to find Ross and make sure that he and Matty were not beating each other to a pulp. Em was crazed to find George and rip his clothes off again. Gillian was just crazed. She was the crazed fan I guess and a fan of all the drama.

The band had arranged for us to get backstage for this concert and George made sure that we were expected early. We had not been able to go backstage to any of their concerts in England due to some security clearances or something like that. Once the security guard had made the proper phone calls, looked at our ID’s and passports, he finally let us in the door. There were crazed fans already lining up around the front of the building and around the side where the entrance was. There were others, mostly girls, around the band’s black tour bus and they screamed at us like banshees when they saw that we were being let in. I just shook my head and kept walking.

We strode down the dark hall towards the sound of voices, loud voices which kept getting louder the closer we got.  I stopped outside of the room where the yelling was coming from, immediately recognizing the voices. Em whispered that she would go onto the Green room and Gillian would escort her unless I needed them. I shook my head indicating to them I was fine and they went on ahead without me. Gillian did not go without a silent fuss. She wanted to see AND hear the fight. 

“I want to see her! Make your move if you are going to make it, otherwise, Matty, let me have a chance,” Ross shouted at Matty.

“You only want her because she is mine!” Matty responded.

_His? I was his?_

“Is she yours? Really? Is she YOURS or are you staking claim now because I want a chance?” Ross questioned him.

“Ross, we have a thousand girls every night wanting to get in bed with us. Hell, we all do! Pick one of them!" Matty shouted at Ross.

"No Matty, that's you if you remember correctly! You choose two or three and then pick your favorite and fuck her brains out that night and leave the next day barely remembering her name or what she looked like. You are NOT going to do that to Brynn! I will not let you!” Ross bellowed.

“I don’t want to do that to Brynn!!" Matty screamed back.

"I want to see her, really see her. Take her out, be with her and let what happens happen. I want to see if it will happen.” Ross said lowering his voice slightly. 

“Pfft,” Matty huffed his disapproval and disbelief.

“I have never felt this way about someone. Ever. From that first night, when we met them at the Queens Arms pub and you attempted to feel your way up her leg after you aimed to break her toes on the damn table, I saw something I have never seen in another girl. Mate, listen to me. Don’t walk away. I’m serious,” Ross demanded as Matty apparently started to walk away. 

“I hear you, but I will seriously break your face if you keep it up MacDonald!”

“Brynn said she does not have romantic feelings for you, Matty! Did you know that? I can show you the text. It was less than an hour ago mate. Do you want to see it?”

“No, I don’t need to see it, because I already know.”

“What do you mean you already know?! You just said she was yours and you were going to break my face if I tried to get with her!!”

“Yep, and I will break your face if you try to get with her and then cause her pain. She does not deserve that. She is mine – she is like my sister or a best girlfriend. We have clicked and I really like her, Ross. No, I love her like she is part of my family and I will not see her hurt.”

“What do I have to say to convince you that I won’t hurt her? If it does not work out, we should know pretty quickly, right? I will NOT hurt her! Have you not noticed that I have not been with ANY other girls since we met them? NONE! I have not FUCKED any of them. I don’t want to! I haven't wanted a girlfriend in a long time since Emily. I haven't even had a one night stand with ANY girl in I don't know how long. It just wasn't there for me. But since those girls came into our lives, I just want to talk to Brynn, see her, be in her presence, and feel that feeling that has me so gutted whenever she is around. And then you walk in, like a big ass rooster preening his feathers getting ready to take all the women, and put your arm around her, kiss her cheek and she blushes. I want to punch you in the throat when you do that. I have NEVER wanted to punch you in the throat so badly, mate. Do you hear me?! Matty! Listen to me!” Ross pleaded with Matty.

“I hear you. And yes, I know she blushes when I put my arm around her or kiss her cheek. She blushes because she would rather that it was you putting his arm around her, kissing her cheek and she sees your reaction when I do that. I also see her watching you when no one else does. Do YOU know that?! Or are you just blind?! She has fallen for you, but I don't want you to be a Casa Nova that will break her heart. She is NOT that type of girl, Ross. Think about THAT!”

“Is that true? Matty, is that really true, she watches me? And is upset when I leave when you fucking crawl all over her?”

“Fuck,” Matty said, covering his face with one of his hands then dragging it through his hair. “Yes, it’s true. She watches you, looks at you when you are not looking at her. She studies your face and looks at your hands. And I swear, if you break her heart, I will kill you. THAT is true too, Ross. I will kill you.”

“Then why in the hell are we arguing? Let me go find her and give this a try!”

“Because I will rip your dick off and right now I want to break your face for even trying to get in her pants. Man, I don't blame you. She’s got legs that go on forever, a killer body and her hair… and her eyes … wow, her eyes … and knowing that she wants you, the player, that makes me want to fucking punch you in the throat. But I believe your promises. I have faith in you, Ross. I have seen how you react when she and I are together, because you thought that she and I got naked and she had been mine  …”

WHACK!

“… ouch! WHAT THE FUCK MATE?” Matty yelled at Ross.

“Don’t even picture her naked, Matty. I will … I will … just don’t.”

“HAHAHAHA! Wow, you do have it bad! I haven’t seen you like this since we were like 11 and you thought that the girl down the street was your future wife.”

Lots of laughter, punching and smacking ensued between the two men. I still am standing outside the door way in the dimly lit hallway off to the side and they cannot see me. Thinking this is as good a time as any, I walk into the door and stand there. They are hugging, smacking each other on the back.

Matty notices me first. He puts his finger to his lips in a shushing motion. He grabs Ross on the shoulders and shakes him.

“I’m serious. If you hurt her or even think about hurting her …. well, you know what will happen”, and he grabs Ross’ crotch and Ross yelps!

“FUCK YOU, mate! Don’t touch my dick!”

Then lots more laughing, including me! I couldn’t help it! It WAS funny!

Ross turned around at hearing my voice, sees me, blushes immediately and looks down. I just smile at him. Matty walks around Ross, grabs me in a gigantic hug, but I do not take my eyes from Ross. We make eye contact and hold it. He has beautiful deep brown eyes that I could get so lost in. My heart leaps again. Dang those butterflies!

“You good, love?” Matty says to me.

“Yeah, I’m good, really good,” I respond.

“Ok. Be good you hear, Ross?!” Matty challenges the man that I’m staring at.

Ross laughs and so do I.

Matty walks out pulling the door closed behind him. We are standing in a very large room, maybe it was once an office, but looks like it has not been used or updated in many years. There is an old desk in the corner, a battered and torn but still in halfway decent condition couch along one wall. A few chairs scattered here and there, and a table with three chairs in the middle of the room and a terribly ugly shag carpet on the floor. There is a bottle of wine on the table. Oh no! Matty forgot his wine. I grab it and run out of the door and catch up to him quickly handing him the bottle.

“Matty! You forgot your wine. Wait. Why are you drinking so early? Are you upset about all this?” I ask him.

He grabs me in a hug again and says “I'm not upset at all about Ross wanting to see you. Are you ok with that? Because I’m ok with that, but Brynn, you are like a sister to me and I won’t let him hurt you. It's been a long time since he has dated someone. He has changed it seems. I have seen it in him since we met you, Em and Gillian, but he also has just vehemently expressed that all to me as well as if I don't have eyes. I fear he is falling for you but does not know it yet. Maybe you can breakthrough his stone-cold heart.”

“We haven't even really spent any time together Matty. Time will tell with that. But Matty, you didn’t answer me. Are you upset about all this?” I say waving my hands around in a circular motion.

“No, I’m not upset about all this,” he says waving his arms and hands around gesturing down the hall. “I talked to Gemma last night. That is what I am upset about and that is why this is my _second_ bottle of wine. You know I still love her but we cannot be together, at least right now. That’s what she keeps telling me and I have to respect her for that. Ok, fine, we cannot be together, but I get to still love her. And I mean like ‘love her like the rest of my life’ love her. Even if we are never together again and we each end up with someone else that we love, I will still always love her in that forever way.”

I hug him tight again around his neck and plant a kiss on his cheek.

“You are an ole softy Matthew Healy. There must be a reason that Gemma says not right now and good on you for respecting that. I know it was upsetting, but can the two of you be friends or is it better to just let it alone until she comes round?”

“I don’t know if she will come round again. It is ok. I can muddle on through as long as I have the wine and my friends and family. And now, you did not answer me! Are you ok with seeing Ross?” Matty asks me again.

“Yeah, but I am kind of in shock honestly. We hit it off when I thought you and I were hitting it off. I kind of felt guilty, but now that I know that you and I are just great friends, I want to make a go of it, Matty. I really do. And thanks for being my brother and best guy friend! You are awesome!” I hug him, we part and I make my way back to where I left Ross.


	6. Cause I Remember That I Like You No Matter What I've Found

When I reenter the room, Ross is sitting in one of the chairs at the table where Matty had left his wine with his head in his hands and his back to me. I approach him from behind and put my hand on his back between his shoulder blades. He jumps, but relaxes immediately when he realizes it is me. Before I know it, he is on his feet and has me in a full on embrace. Oh my god, he is so warm, and strong, and my arms fit perfectly around his waist with my fingertips overlapping slightly on his back. He hugs me tight but not too tight, just strong, an embrace that it felt like neither of us ever wanted to let go. When he did finally relax his hold a bit, I pulled back and looked in his face. He is smiling slightly, looking at me full on in my face, scanning my features, hovering over my eyes and my lips.

“Hey," he says quietly.

"Hi", I say back with a smile.

"You want to give this a go, right?" Ross asks me.

"Yup," I say popping my lips on the P sound.

"Are you really here, in my arms?” he asks me.  I nod in reply.

“So, can I see you now that I know you are not his?” he asks me. I nod again, smiling and looking at his face. He still has not let go of my hips with his hands and I still hold his.

“Yes, you can see me, but only if I can see you,” I say to him.

He nods back to me, grinning slightly. I love his boyish grin. Wait? What? I love his grin. Oh god, this is really happening isn’t it? Oh thank goodness. The butterflies are still there but they are different. They feel right this time.

He takes my hand and leads me towards the door.

“Let’s go find everyone else and get this party started, how about it?”, Ross says smiling at me with a glimmer in his eyes.

“Sounds like a plan,” I reply, squeezing his hand tightly in mine. He squeezes back slightly and looks down at me again. Wow. We fit like two well-made puzzle pieces when we hugged and now our hands, well, they fit. His hand is big but it did not make my fingers hurt when he laced his own through mine. It felt right, perfect in fact. But Matty always said if it’s perfect, then it’s not real. Could his musings be wrong in this case? I sure hoped so!

We got to the Green Room, which was really green surprisingly, and walked in hand in hand. The entire room stopped what they were doing and stared. George started clapping. Then everyone started clapping. Ross looked at me and rolls his eyes and says with a smirk, “Apparently everyone knew but us!” I squeeze his hand and smile at his adorable face. Then his phone buzzes with a call.

“What do you want, woman?!” Ross says into his phone as he brings it up to his ear. I’m taken aback a little by that – what woman would he talk to that way? Ross steps away from me slightly and I go join the others on the leather couches. Matty and George both start laughing.

George say,s “Are you jealous already, Brynny?”

“WHAT?” I say.

“Are you jealous of the woman that Ross is talking to? Your face is all screwed up,” Matty says taking over where George left off.  

“No, I’m not jealous, I just wondered who he would call ‘woman’. I actually say that to my sisters and found it funny, haha odd funny that someone else says that too,” I reply.

“That is probably Ross’ sister Becca or his mum he is talking to,” George says.

Adam chimes in and says “Yep, probably Becca. He has been talking to her a lot more than usual the past two weeks or so. Oh, wait … yes, I get it now. I have only heard his side of the conversation but not the other persons. Has to be Becca. I heard him telling someone this morning on the phone that he was going to tell her today. He has also had conversations with the same person about him not being a slut, that he just hadn’t found THE ONE … until now. I get it now. He has been telling his sister about you (pointing at me).”

 _Becca. Rebecca?_ “His sister’s name is Rebecca?” I ask the group.

The boys all nod in unison and I giggle.

“What’s so funny?” Adam asks me.

“Rebecca, as in Rebecca from the song Chocolate?”

And they all laugh again, this time long and hard. Matty grabs my knee and says “Brynn, you are the ONLY person that gets us besides us! Yes, Rebecca from that song! When we would be smoking each other down, Rebecca would sometimes be hanging out with us, cuz she totally had a crush on George and Ross would make her leave. He didn’t want her partaking with us in the first place let alone potentially getting caught doing it with us.”

“Yeah, and she used to always say to Ross, ‘you’re never gonna quit it, are ya?’ and we would just sing song it back to her, and so it became part of the lyrics, just like that. Bam.” Matty said. Their song “Chocolate” was really about smoking pot, and some of the lyrics were about your hair smelling like it, car smelling like it, etc.

“Hmm, Rebecca and George, huh?” Em says teasingly to George.

“Oh fuck NO! I would never do that. Becca is beautiful and all, but she’s Mac’s sister! No way would I ever hit that!” Em leaned over and kissed George on the nose and he pulled her into his lap and they started making out.

Adam sighed. “That’s what I want, but Lucy, she isn’t into that. She’s got a boyfriend anyway,” he said.

“NO WAY!” Gillian shrieked! “There is NO WAY you have a song about Lucy! THAT song is my favorite song EVER!” Gillian was talking about their song “Sex” which was about a girl and a guy that like each other but the girl has a boyfriend and the guy wants to do it with her and she says no. “We’ve heard about Lucy. She sounds like the nicest, sweetest person in the world and she is hooking up with YOU behind someone else’s back?”

Lots more laughter. This time, Ross joins in. He has apparently finished his call and rejoined us, sits down on the armrest of the couch that I am sitting at the end of. He puts his hand around my shoulder caressing my upper arm gently with his thumb. It feels lovely and I am very distracted from the conversation when he starts doing that. His hands are soft, I think to myself, surprised a bit, but it is a pleasant surprise.

“Not bleeding likely,” Ross says pulling me back into the conversation. “Lucy is nice, and reads poetry and drinks tea with Adam,” holding out his pinky finger like he is holding a cup of tea, “and they are just fucking with you.”

God, I love this group. They are hilarious and not stupid. That sounded stupid, but Ross is still rubbing my arm with his fingers. I feel this tingling sensation where he is touching me and it is radiating down my arm and across my stomach and into my … oh my. Yep, feeling it there. Wow. Ok, I can handle this. I put my hand on his leg next to me and he looks down at me and smiles. There’s that sheepish, boy like grin again. I want to kiss his lips so badly all of a sudden. Ok, Brynn, get a hold of yourself. There is time for that. Ugh! But I want to run my tongue over his lips, over the roof of his mouth and see if he is ticklish there just like I am.

“Earth to Brynn!” I hear and pull myself back out of my four second day dream.

“Yeah, what?” I say looking around the room.

“You want to go get some hot raisins with us?” Matty is asking me and Ross. You see, Matty has this thing for the raisins out of Sticky Toffee Pudding. He likes the whole dessert, but his favorite is the raisins, because they plump up and he likes them the best when they are hot. I heard him once in an interview say that he liked grapes, but he liked hot raisins more because they were just shriveled grapes until they got hot and then they were hot plump grapes again. What a goof ball. Ross is looking at me for a reply and I shrug my shoulders and say “If Ross would like to, I will come.”

Ross noticed that I was distracted and says, “I think Brynn and I will stay behind for a while, but we will meet up with you guys in a bit, OK?” looking me dead in the eyes. Oh yes, that is way OK with me.

After the rest of the group grabbed their belongings, you know, phones, purses, wallets, wine bottles, and head out the door of the Green room, Ross tells me to slide over a bit and flops down on the couch next to me. He pulls his right knee up and turns his body towards me and takes my right hand in his left. His arm is still on my shoulder but lets it slide down to where he is holding my arm and pulling me towards him ever so gently.

“Are you OK?” he asks me. “You seem distracted or distant. Did I do something wrong?”

“No no, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was definitely distracted, but it was because of the way you were touching my arm. It felt lovely and I never wanted it to stop, and then I looked at you and …. “

“And … what?”

I look directly into his eyes and then at his lips. I leaned in just slightly towards him and he takes the hint, closes the gap between us and puts his lips on mine. There are those butterflies again. His kiss starts slowly, just slight pressure, but the heat builds so quickly that I find we are really going for it and fast. I feel his tongue testing to see if my lips would part for him, and of course they will and did. My tongue responds in kind, tasting him, his tongue soft and gentle but taking command. His mouth and my mouth fit perfectly, I think to myself as I start to get lost in his taste. Ross does not smoke like the rest of the boys, so he did not taste like fags, but he did taste ever so slightly of lager. But it was good, and it mixed with the rest of what I assume is him naturally, and it had a sweetness to it. He pulled me closer, and I brought my legs up on the couch turning my body towards him. I put my legs over his and he pulled me almost into his lap but my butt still touched the leather of the couch. It was chilly today, so I had on my black skinny jeans with my gray low top Converse, and tank with the Union Jack. I had brought my short black leather jacket with me as well, but it was warm in here so I had slunk that off when Ross took the phone call with his sister.

He ran his hands up and down the outside of my leg with one hand and held onto the back of my neck with the other. I was overwhelmed with a rush of feelings, sensations, and emotions. We continuously kissed, sometimes with our mouths full open and tongues teasing the inside of each other’s mouths, and other times, just small kisses with lips closed but we never stopped. He made these low guttural noises at times which heightening my sensations and I echoed those of his in my own tones. My hands played with his hair, the back of his neck, with the side of his face. We looked at each other at times, eyes playing with each other just as our tongues played. When my senses went into overdrive, and I mean overdrive to the point where I wanted to throw this man on the floor and rip his clothes off, I slowed our pace down. I was not quite ready to do that, well, maybe, but I did not want to do that on our first day together as a proper couple. We were giving it a go, and I did not want Ross to think that I was a whore like those girls he has had before. I did not want to be one of _those_ girls.

“Thank you,” Ross said to me.

“Thank you? You’re welcome? Thank you for what?” I said to him with one of my hands still on the side of his face and our foreheads pressed together.

“Thank you for slowing me down. I was about to lose my mind and control with you and take you right here on the floor, if you had let me,” he said quietly, kissing me with a quick peck at the end of his sentence.

I chuckled slightly. “I was about to throw _you_ on the floor and let you have your way with _me_ **after** I had my way with you, sir.”

He kissed me again then, no warning, just full on mouth on mouth, lips pressed together, open mouth and tongues dancing …. then we both stopped and stood up, shaking our heads and tugging to straighten our own clothes as if they had been horribly disheveled by the other, which they had not, unfortunately.

“Yeah. About that. Let’s wait – maybe not in the Green room in La Trabendo the first time, if you want a first time with me,” Ross says to me.

“Yes, I want a first time with you, but I agree, not on the floor or on the couch in the La Trabendo our first time. Maybe our second time though,” I say winking at him with a slight smile.

He hugs me then and I can feel the bulge in his pants against my hip bone. Oh my. He was as turned on as I am; at least my soaking wet panties were telling me I was turned on. Yeah, this was good.

He nuzzled into my hair and says, “You smell and feel really good, and I want you, but let’s wait. I have been waiting since the day we met to kiss you like that, but I am so glad that we have talked and really gotten to know each other. I want to get to know you proper now. Not just on the floor or couch in the Green room at La Trabendo, but really get to know you.” I put my hand around his waist and hold him tight and my other hand on the back of his head holding him as he nuzzles against my neck. He feels so good – warm breath against my neck and his muscular arms holding me close.

“Did Matty make you feel like you wanted to take him on the floor in the Green room, too?” Ross says into my neck.

“Haha, no way, not even close,” I say back to him into his hair, kissing that spot on his face right in-between his eye and his beard, close to his temple. I could feel him melting into my arms, or that is the best way I can describe it, because that was what I felt like I was doing. Melting into his arms.

“Good. I’m glad of that. I would have been bloody pissed if he had,” he says raising his face back to mine and pushing our foreheads together again. Then he kissed my nose and said, “Let’s go get some fish and chips, doll. That is, if I can bloody well walk with this thing in my pants!”


	7. So Here We Are, It's Quarter to 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never seems to be enough time ... or the right time ...

“Good grief! Ross, is that a sausage in your pants or are you just glad to see me?” Matty says when we get to the pub/restaurant.

“Sod off!” Ross says in response. “My girl just … you see I … we … er… um.. SOD OFF Matty!” flopping himself down in a chair and pulling me onto his lap.

“Are you attempting to hide it with Brynn in your lap now or are you trying to poke her through all those clothes you are wearing?” George questions, catching onto what Matty was implying and running away with Ross’ obvious embarrassment. Well, his hard on is still there, and I know because I can definitely feel it on my right ass cheek and leg. And it feels wonderful. I want to rub it and caress it and … STOP! I tell myself. You CANNOT do this in the middle of a pub. What has this man done to your mind, Brynn Michelle Dupree?! Oh, I don’t think it was done just to my mind, and I want it done to my … STOP! Ok, I shake my head. I have to get my head back in the real and current world and not my fantasy of making love to Ross Stuart MacDonald over and over again. I look at him and smile, kiss him full on the lips and stand up.

“I’m going to get a chair, ok love?” I say to him. He looked down at his lap which is sporting an obvious bulge, then back to me and said, “Spot on. Yes, you probably should,” and smiled back at me.

Our late lunch was full of lots of laughter, jokes about Ross’ perpetual hard-on in my presence, Em and George being completely lost to the conversation due to their multiple make-out sessions, and Adam pining away for Lucy. Gillian and Matty looked and acted like the class clowns, as that was basically what they both were. But they were class clowns with a diva flare. Yeah, that better described them. They both wanted to be the center of attention, and Matty seemed to be giving Gillian a run for her money with how flamboyant he can be, flipping his hair around and his boisterous hand and arm movements. It was hilarious to just sit back and watch - and touch Ross. We held hands on the table and played footsie underneath the table. He slipped one of his Van’s off and had his sock clad toes trying to worm their way up the inside of my skinny jeans. I loved the effort he was putting into touching me without being overbearing. It seemed very natural to him, and it was natural to me as well to accept his touch and touch him back. It was new but familiar at the same time. Like something that I had craved all of my short life of 24 years.

“What time do you guys have to be back for sound check?” I asked Ross as he leaned in to kiss me again.

“Oh, like half past 5 or something like that,” he said.

I checked my phone, which I had not even thought of since being in Ross’ presence. It was quarter past 5 already and I had 5 messages. Five messages!? From whom? I checked my message box and two of them were from Gillian wondering where the hell I was when I was making out with Ross, one from my mom, and two from Ross. I clicked on Ross’ name in my message box. 

Ross: You _are beautiful._

It was time stamped 3:28 pm. I looked at him and squeezed his fingers and mouthed “thank you”. He knew what I had just read and smiled that sheepish boy like grin at me again and there went the butterflies. Damn this man! I was falling.

Ross: _N_ _o, I mean it, you are GORGEOUS!_ was the second message from him.

I look at him again and full on kiss his mouth, tongue shoved down his throat. When the smooch is finished, he takes his napkin off the table and puts it into his lap, throws his head back and laughs.

“Oh GOD woman! What you do to me!” he exclaimed! Everyone at the table looks at him, sees the bright red napkin in his lap and shake their head.

“Get a room!” Em says to me and Ross. We all laugh again!

The guys left to go back to the venue and my friends and I  went back to the hostel so we can catch a quick nap and change for the concert tonight. We already had tickets for the show because it was part of our planned trip before we even met the band mates. I still shake my head to myself thinking about all that had transpired. Oh my god, I forgot to read my mom’s text!

Mom: Hey _kiddo! Hope you are having fun! The band guys are treating you girls OK and not trying to make you do drugs and have sex with them, are they?_

She was so funny. I knew she was looking out for our best interests, and now I needed to fill her in on Ross and me. I sent her a text back telling her briefly that there was no sex and drugs (for me at least), just rock and roll, and that Ross and I were interested in each other and were going to try to date. I also told her that he was the best kisser I have ever encountered. Her reply was sweet and caring, as she always was, told me to be careful and try not to get hurt, or pregnant! Mom! Sheesh! I had been on the pill since I was 16. Not due to being promiscuous, but because my periods were heavy and irregular. They had evened out and now I took a pill that let me go three months without bleeding like a stuck pig. It was glorious!

I finished texting with my mom and laid back on the top bunk, fixing the pillow beneath my head. I wasn’t sure I could sleep, but I would rest and daydream about Ross, that’s for sure. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I retrieved it and it was Ross.

_Ross: I miss you!_

_Me: I miss you, too_  !

_Ross: I want to kiss your luscious lips again. The way you taste .. mmmmm!_

Me: :)

So much for proper texting etiquette. Right out the window.

_Ross: Hugs and kisses_

Me: :P

Ross: Y _es Please!_

 _Me: LOL, ok, as soon as I see you next, and you better have brushed your teeth!_  

Brushed your teeth? What, am I his mother now. I face palmed.

_Ross: I always brush my teeth before I am going to snog with a fit bird like you._

_Me: I will count on that, and you better count on needing breaks to come up for air!_

I was being racy alright, but I wanted to kiss that man again, right now.

_Ross: Can you come to the stage on the side that I play before you go to the Green room when you get back here? I have something I want to give you._

_Me: Yep, can do. We plan to be there around 8, Is that ok?_

_Ross: I want you here, now, I mean here right now, but you would be bored to tears. I am tuning my guitars and getting my equipment ready for the gig._

_Me: I would love to watch you 'tune your guitars' with those sexy hands of yours, but I still have to change. I will come earlier, OK? I miss you and want to feel your touch._

_Ross: Where's that napkin? I need it again!_

_Me: I took it with me lol. You will have to search me for it!_

_Ross: That's a deal! Oops, gotta jet. Apparently I'm up to sound test. See you soon._

_Me: Bye for now._

I rolled over and snuggled the pillow and pretended it was Ross. I closed my eyes and pictured the features of his face, the shape of his hand, the feel of his arms around me and him nuzzled against my neck. Oh forget this waiting! I’m getting ready now.

I hopped down from the bunk and found Em and Gillian both sound asleep. _Good. That gives me freedom to use our shared bathroom alone for a change,_ I thought. I loved that my job allowed me to travel often and still make good money, so I picked through my high-end wardrobe and chose a tight pair of pants and then a top that wasn't too skimpy but just skimpy enough to peek his interest and my boots from Nordstrom. I wanted to be comfortable, but also sexy, and in something that Ross had never seen me wear before. It was always hot in the venues, too. Again, I opted for comfort and sexy. I let my hair down after my shower and toweled it dry as best as I could. I would wear it down tonight I decided. Since it had its own natural wave to it, I decided to add a few extra curls into the mix and hoped it would stay with the heat of all those bodies and equipment at the show. My hair was pretty close in color to Ross’, dark brown, but it had some subtle golden natural highlights that ran through it as well. I decided to go with a natural look with my eye makeup, something that complimented my green eyes that were really more hazel than green, but something that did not scream “I HAVE MAKEUP ON!”.  No lipstick, ever. It was not my style and it tasted horrible to be honest. I hated seeing those women that had lipstick on their teeth when I was little and hanging out with my grandmother. I vowed when I was in my early teens that I would never wear it. I did try lip gloss on occasion, and that still felt weird. I thought to myself, I would rather have Ross on my lips and a natural shine and plumpness from making out with him than a gloss from something that was made in a lab.

Gillian walked into the bathroom rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, or was that the wine off her face? She and Matty had tried to get pretty knackered. Matty won, but he held his own well. Gillian was pretty hard core, but she had stopped earlier than Matty did, and well Matty didn’t stop. I knew that she wanted to drink again tonight and getting knackered midday would just make her sleep through the night.

“You set already, Brynn?” she asked me.

“Yeah, I’m going to go meet Ross a bit early. He asked me to meet him at the stage instead of the Green room. Apparently he wants to give me something” I said.

“Yeah, his cock and then babies!” Gillian laughed.

“Gill! Seriously.”

Em entered the bathroom shortly thereafter and they both proceeded to shower, one in each of the two shower stalls steaming up the entire bathroom, talking loudly over the sound of the water about what we were going to do tonight and then tomorrow taking the train to Germany. With the room all steamed up, I could barely see myself in the mirrors. I was glad I had started early. I shout to them over the sound of the water that I was heading back to La Trabendo.

 

I walked straight to the backstage door. The guard recognized me from earlier in the day, and whistles as I stand there.

He says to me “Looking good there young lady! You got a date or something?”

“Yeah, I kinda do, with a really hot bass player. Can I go in and give him the kiss that I owe him now, Lou?” I ask (looking at his name tag).  

“Of course you may, pretty lady. That lad is pretty lucky if I do say so myself. Pretty lucky indeed. If he doesn’t treat you right, you come find me and I’ll knock some sense into him for you” he said as he opened the door and I walked away.

“Thanks, Lou” I called back, “you’re awesome!”

I made my way around the backstage area to the left side of the stage where I hoped I would find Ross. The instant I saw him, I stopped and just stared. He really is a handsome man, I contemplated to myself. He must have felt someone watching him because he stood from his crouched position after he placed his bass guitar in a case and turned and faced me.

I walked towards him with a smile on my face and said “I hope you brushed your teeth because if you haven’t by now, it is too late” and planted a huge kiss on his lips. His arms encircled me and pulled me in tight, our lips melded together, open slightly and tips of our tongues touching.

“You did brush” I sighed pulling away for just a moment and looked him in the eye, only his eyes were half closed still.

“Wow. You look so fit,” he said. “I’m not sure if it is because you are mine now or what, but wow. Wow. Yeah, wow,” as he looked me up and down, turned me around and grabbed my arse with his hands feeling the fit of my jeans against the curve of my buttocks.

I squealed a bit and turned around and smacked his arm. He laughed, then pulled me in again and said “sorry, but I couldn’t resist. You are bloody fit.”

“Thanks, you look pretty hot yourself,” I tell him. And he did. He had on his black t-shirt that says PLAY COMME des GARCONS on it and his two necklaces, the one that is the rectangle that represents his band, The 1975, and the other, a circle that hangs just above the other. He also had on tight black jeans, not exactly skinny jeans, but they hugged him well in all the right places, not that I had noticed. He still had on his black Van’s. He hugged me tight again, this time I took a moment to inhale his scent. He smelled fresh, like freshly laundered clothes mixed with guy’s body wash and deodorant. I inhaled wanting to memorize his smell as if I would never see him again. It was heavenly. We parted ever so slightly, just so we could see each other’s faces.

“Hi” he said smiling down to me.

“Hi yourself” I said back to him tilting my head back marginally to see him.

He was taller than me, and I liked that. I was 5 foot 6 inches last time I was measured at my physical and he was easily 6 foot tall if not a little taller, but yet, we still fit well together. Melding in just the right areas. We smiled and gazed at each other for about a minute, just relishing in the fact that we were together, touching again, as if we were long time lovers that had not seen each other in years. The sound of a snare drum being struck brought us back to reality and Ross snickered a little to himself although I could hear it.

“What?” I asked him.

“I could get lost in your eyes is all” he replied.

I smiled broader at that comment and he leaned in and gave me a peck on the lips.

“I have something for you,” he said reaching around behind his own neck grasping one of the chains that hung there.

“I had this necklace custom made when we decided on a symbol for our band. I have never taken it off or considered giving it to someone else until today when we walked in different directions from each other at the pub. I want you to wear something of mine. Something that means a lot to me and that says that you are mine to everyone who knows or cares. Will you do me the honor of wearing it, if it isn’t too cheesy and stupid or way too fast?”

“Of course, yes, I would love to wear your necklace, Ross. Wow. This is really … I didn’t expect this. But yes, yes, I will happily wear it and show everyone that I am yours. It's not too fast. Fast is Em and George making out in Gillian's lap that first night. You and I know each other and we are getting to know each other in a different way now. So yea, I will proudly wear it.”

He placed the chain over my head and adjusted the placement of the little silver rectangle dangling from it.

“There,” he said, “now you have part of me with you even when we aren’t together and look, it hangs perfectly over your heart, as if it were custom made for you instead of me.”

Then he kissed me again, a gentle passionate kiss that lingered between us, sweet yet filled with the heat of longing.

“Yep, I’m going to like looking at you and seeing a little part of me hanging there between your breasts wishing that my face and lips where there instead. Wait, did I just say that out loud?”

“Um, yep, you sure did – hahahahahaaaa” I snorted “but that’s ok. I don’t mind because I was already thinking the same thing!”

Boy, there sure was a lot of sexual tension between us. I hoped that we matched as well together sexually as we had in everything else so far. He kissed me again, this time reaching up between our bodies and grasping the four-sided figure that hung there. With his hand between us, I could feel his fingers brush against the inside of my breasts that were being nicely pushed together with my bra. Not only did the strategically placed underwire pushed them up slightly, but the way the brassiere was made, it also pushed them together slightly so that they peeked out of the top of my shirt ever so slightly. He slowed his kiss as if he were making sure it was ok he was touching me in this manner. I kissed him back harder acknowledging his question and making sure that he knew that I was saying it was okay when my tongue swept over his lips.

“Mmmmmm” he groaned into my open mouth as he reciprocated with his own tongue. He started walking me backwards then, slowly, and I found myself against a curtained wall. With his right hand splayed on my back pulling me into his torso, he used his left hand to begin to trace the top of my breasts. The tips of his fingers would ever so slightly dip into just the top of my bra so he could feel more of my flesh. My breathing increased dramatically when he did that and my hand in his hair responded with increased vigor pulling him into me. He knew at that point he could continue. His hand cupped my entire right breast and squeezed gently and he moaned again. That guttural sound made me sigh as well into his open mouth and he squeezed again just a little harder.

“Oh Ross” I whined into his lips.

“Mmmmmm” he said again, this time deeper with a vibration that I felt through the core of my body. He put one of his legs between mine and brought his hips closer to where I could feel the hardness in his jeans. I pushed back on him with my own hip all while pulling his buttocks in towards me with both hands sliding my leg against him and rotating my hips up just a little as I did so, grinding into his bulge.

“Oh god” he sighed, “we have to stop before I can’t stop.”

I took a deep breath and relaxed my hold on him slightly. I still held him though because I craved him so deeply, but I moved my hands from his ass to the small of his back, still pulling him into me so he could feel the heat of my crotch between our jeans. I wanted him, that much was for sure, and he wanted me. I knew in my mind, and in between my legs, that we probably would not wait much longer. I was not ever this slutty before I met Ross. I mean, we really had only been together one day and not even a whole day at that, but it looked like we were going for it full force and full steam ahead. And I was definitely not a virgin, having taken care of that little issue when I was 17, but I had never moved this fast with anyone. I would never have gone on a second date with a guy if he had grabbed my ass the first day we were officially together as a couple, or even made out with a guy like Ross and I had done many times already today on the first “date”. But Ross was different. I desired him in a way that made my insides ache, and I also hungered in other places. We were still holding our embrace, still breathing heavily with our faces together alternating between being cheek to cheek or forehead to forehead.

“Brynn, you’re killing me. I have never wanted someone so bad but knowing that it was not going to happen, at least not yet. No, I take that back. I have never wanted someone so badly. Period.”

“It’s ok. The feeling is mutual,” I declared.

He embraced me tighter and leaned in for another kiss, pressing his chest tight on my breasts with his right hand now on the curtain-clad wall holding himself upright and his left hand on my ass pulling me in as snug as he could. He moved his hips on me pushing his hard member into my leg and hip again. I groaned and pushed back with just the right pressure to not hurt but make his desire grow even more. He lifted my right leg by my knee and wrapped it around his hip so he could get in closer all while rotating his hips in a gyrating motion. Dry humping in a concert hall with Ross MacDonald. No, I didn’t even have that one on my bucket list, not until this very moment as it was happening. I started to hear the murmur of other voices and they gradually grew louder.

“What time do the doors open?” I asked Ross breaking away for a second only to nuzzle his neck, placing small kisses along his jawline.

“8 o’clock I believe. Bad Suns play at 8:30,” he responded breathily.

“I think it is 8 o’clock then, my love” I whispered in his ear, this time grabbing the lobe with my lips and sucking gently.

“Oh god. That feels …. Oh god. I’m going to come in my knickers if you don’t stop. Oh please … don’t stop. If I come in my jeans right here right now will you leave me and hate me forever?” he begged as I continued to suck on his ear lobe and breathe softly in his ear.

Ok, I have found one of Ross MacDonald’s erogenous zones. _Yes!_ I congratulate myself and continue in my quest to keep him as hot and bothered as I am. His hand finds its way up my shirt at that moment, directly under my bra completely bypassing the whole minor league first base thing and going straight into the majors. His hot hand on my breast was almost too much, and then when he pinched my nipple, I could feel myself getting wetter as my sweet nectar seeped through my underwear.

“I have never been wetter in my entire life,” I utter to the man who has me so turned on I wouldn’t care if the whole world saw my naked body as long as it was with him.

“Oh god, yes. I want you right now. Can we just go find somewhere and let me make love to you for the rest of the night? I would do it right here but …” and he stops mid-sentence and looks around. I think he finally opened his ears as well and heard the crowd of people filling the concert hall pushing against each other for that very best spot, right up front and center. We were still in the dark against the wall with the velvet curtain, but we could see out into the audience on the far right side of the floor and view the others milling around on the stage.

“Oh. Yeah, reality just punched me in the face. Bloody hell.”

We still held onto each other just as tight as before, my hands on his ass, his hand on my ass and under my shirt gently massaging it as if it were a play thing. Well, it could be his play thing whenever he wanted after what he was making me feel right now.

“Baby, god, this is amazing and if it is anything like what it will be when we do finally make love … “, he whispered into my ear as he nuzzled my neck again, “I’m not ever going to let you out of bed.”

“That’s a deal,” I respond to him.

“Those bloody fuckers started filling up this place and I realized I wasn’t alone with just you and your glorious tit. Oh wow, I’m still holding your breast. I’m sorry!” he exclaimed as he removed his hand from under my shirt and pulled away.

“No,” I said pulling him back into me. “Do not ever be sorry for doing that. In fact, I want you to do it again right now, but I know that you have to get back to the Green room with the other guys. I bet they wonder where you are. You probably have a million voicemails and texts from Adam and Matty.”

“Well, I promise you this, I will hold your breasts any time you want me to,” he said to me smiling and adjusting his crotch with his left hand. “Damn! I am going to be hard all night long at this rate. Seeing you on the side stage, dressed like that and knowing what you feel like and wanting to feel it again and feel more, yeah, I’m going to be sporting a raging hard on the entire show now. Thanks, babe.”

“You are more than welcome!” I exclaim and kiss the side of his neck. Then he reached for his phone. “No messages. Interesting.”

Like two children being sent to their rooms for being bad, we begrudgingly remove ourselves from our dark make-out corner and walk, arm in arm, down the dimly lit corridor to the Green room. As we pass Bad Sun’s dressing room, the band piles out nearly knocking us over.

“Woah! Watch out love birds!” says their lead singer. His name escapes me right now, but I really can’t think of anything other than Ross, what we were just doing, the feel of him on me and what might be coming later in our relationship. Or maybe that is who might be coming. We push over to one side of the hall and they all rush past us. Time for the opening act. That meant that in about one hour, the man that I wanted to have sex with all night would be up on that stage playing and singing his heart out. I wanted to figure his heart out and I wanted it to be just me and him tonight (you and I = me and him).

We walked into the Green room and everyone was there, having fun, drinking, snacking (Matty and his hot raisins ya know) or making out. George and Matty are also smoking a joint and Ross asks if I want a hit. I decline as I still am not interested and wanted a clear head to remember this whole day, but I knew that Ross partook occasionally which was ok with me. Ross took a couple of tokes from the joint pinched in-between Matty’s fingers and then said to the group “so, what you mates been up to?”

They had just been hanging out in the Green room they said and described what had transpired. The same old same old it seemed. Then the questions were turned around on us. “What have YOU mates been up to, huh Ross? Brynn?”

I blushed. Of course I blushed. I was not embarrassed, but I still blushed. What had we been up to? Well, we had been making out and dry humping and I was getting felt up to the point where we almost both came in our pants, that was what we had been up to.

“We were just talking and hanging out off stage,” Ross said to the gang. Then he looked at me and winked. I walked over to where he was sitting and draped myself over his shoulders pressing my breasts into his back. He sighed and kissed my right wrist as it hung over his shoulder.

“You look like you have been together forever,” exclaimed Emaleigh. She was sitting in George’s lap. Well, that wasn’t quite accurate. They were kind of intertwined, but Em was mostly on top of his lap. They looked cute together, I thought to myself. And she looks spectacularly happy. I wondered if I looked happy.

“Thanks, I think” I replied to her.

“Yep, you should thank me. You look good together the two of you. But more than that, you look like you belong together and that you are comfortable in knowing each other even though you are just really getting to know each other. I like it. I hope that George and I look like that someday.”

“Girlfriend, you already do” I told her. She squealed, you know one of those “squeeeee’s”. She grabbed George’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. He was a willing participant obviously.

Suddenly, you could hear the crowd going nuts down the hall and an electric guitar striking a chord and a rumble of drums. Bad Sun’s was getting ready to play and the countdown was on for my favorite band in the world. Adam went off to his corner and started his “ritual”, which no one really knew what it was but he was alone and doing “something”. I hope it wouldn’t make me go “ew” if I knew what it was.

Matty and George blazed up again. Ross stood up still holding onto my right wrist and laced his fingers through mine.

“Do you want to take a quick walk outside with me?” he asked. “I want some fresh air. It is kind of stagnant in here.”

I replied that I would love it and we left the room. I turned back to look and Gillian was taking a hit straight from Matty’s mouth. I know it is called something, but I can’t remember. Ross, duh! I can’t remember anything right now. Oh yeah, a power hit, that's what they were doing.

Were Matty and Gillian the next couple? I wondered. 


	8. For Crying Out Loud

Ross led me to the backstage door and opened it. Lou was standing there and was surprised to find us peering out at him. “We want to take a quick walk. Do you think we can sneak away, Lou?” Ross asked the guard.

“Yeah, but you better go now. I cannot guarantee there will not be a bunch of squawking girls here when you get back though.” Lou said.

“That’s ok. I’ll protect him,” I said squeezing Ross’ hand tighter.

“So, this is the lucky guy, huh?” Lou asked, winking at me and Ross.

“Yep,” I tell him, “this is the guy.” I tug on Ross’ sleeve a bit. He smiles broadly at me. “If I could ever be so lucky” he imparts.

The night air is crisp and clean. There are barely any clouds in the sky. I realize that we are in Paris. PARIS! And I haven’t seen anything yet.  Well, maybe next time, if there is a next time. I’m with Ross and I am fully content with just that.

“Are you cold?” he asks me. “Nope, just enjoying being with you,” I respond. I feel him sigh again. I love it when he does that. He is so expressive with me but I had never imagined that he would be that way. He seemed so stiff and stuck up when I first met him. But he totally isn’t. We walked down the street for a bit, arm in arm, quiet. Nothing needed to be said, it was a comfortable silence between us.

When we got to a four way, he asked me “Right, left, straight or backwards?”

“Um, your choice.”

“No, it is your choice. I asked you. Which way?” and he kissed me on the top of my head.

“Left” I decided.

“Good choice,” he said.

So we went left. But not far, because in front of us, as plain as the hard on his pants earlier, was the Eiffel tower! It was beautiful all lit up at night. I had no idea we were so close. I had been so wrapped up in being wrapped up with Ross that I hadn’t checked my maps or anything to see where I was or where I was going. It didn’t matter where I was going, or even where I was because all that had mattered all day long was Ross and my growing feelings for him. Maybe they had just been suppressed feelings, but they were very large and open tonight.

“I knew it was down here and I know you didn’t explore the town like you did when you were in England, so I hoped that we would go the right way. It is like you read my mind, knowing where I wanted to go and where I wanted you to go with me. It was meant to be tonight. I cannot believe this night. If it ended right now, all of it, I would be a happy man. Standing here, looking at this wonder of the World with the girl of my dreams, it is worth every regret and pain and suffering I have been through up until this moment.”

Then he stepped in front of me and lowered his head in for a kiss. I gladly reciprocated and reached my arms around his body placing my index fingers from both hands into his belt loops. He pulled back from our kiss and stepped behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and lacing his fingers together over my abdomen. I rested the back of my head on his chest and we stood that way for a few minutes just taking in the sight.

“We can’t stay much longer, because I’ve got to get on stage, but I will absolutely come back here with you some time in the future if you would allow me the pleasure,” he whispers into my hair. I feel him nuzzling his face on and into my hair and breathing deeply. “You smell delicious,” he tells me. “I’m getting turned on again, so that must mean it is time to go!” he declared.

“Oh,” I sighed, “yep, I guess it does. But promise me you will hold me like this again sometime soon?”

“You know it. Anytime and every time you want, dove.”

We grasped hands again and turned around to head back for the concert. I do love watching this man play his bass guitar, so I was looking forward to that for sure. This time, I would not be right in front and center, but I would have a better view from the side stage watching the man I was falling for do what he loved.

 

* * *

 

Right before the concert, the boys all gather on the left hand side near the steps. They get their tools of the trade – earpieces, guitars, drum sticks, microphones if they are not already on the stage, fags, a bottle of wine for Matty and bottles of water for the rest of the band which are being chugged and replacements already in strategic places around the stage for them throughout the show. I hear the smoke machine whir on and smoke starts to pour out on the stage. Matty says it is go time to the boys.

Ross grabs me by the waist nearly picking me up off the ground and says “Stay right where I showed you, ok”, and plants a big one on my lips, full open mouth tongues dancing.

A little lightheaded from his passion, I respond with a quiet “ok” and off he goes.

The first song is always an instrumental which has been playing in the background for a few seconds already when the lights go up and I am deafened by the crowd roaring at the boys on stage. Ross puts the strap from his wooden bass guitar around his neck and adjusts the instrument so it hangs like he wants. I moved to the edge of the shadowy area just as he had asked me to do. I can see most of the crowd, undulated amongst each other as they are ramped up to see one of the best bands in the world – at least to me and probably more than ¾ of the people out there in the crowd. The bass starts to thump as Ross plucks at his guitar strings and they launch into The City. The crowd is shouting the lyrics along with Matty and the boys as they sing. It is so exciting watching from this point of view, seeing my guy out there playing his heart out for everyone out there. Matty is his normal flamboyant self, dancing all over the stage throughout the song.

The next song is Heart Out and Matty leaps off the stage and pulls one of the girls from the front up over the railing. The security detail guys help Matty and this girl back on stage who is sobbing by the time Matty sits her down on George’s drum platform. Ross looks over at me, still playing all the while and shrugs. I guess this is not something Matty normally does. He sings to this girl down on his knees, her crying and singing back to him the whole way through the song. I cannot help but sing along as well – it is a catchy tune, one of my favorites of theirs. When the song ends, the girl starts screaming again and Matty whispers something in her ear. She nods and kisses his cheek. He kisses hers back. She is then lead off the stage towards me by one of the roadies, James.

The girl walks up to me and screams in my face “OH MY GOD!!! MATTY HEALY JUST SANG TO ME!!!!! DID YOU SEE THAT?!”

“Yep, I saw it, and so did 10,000 other girls and guys standing there wishing that they were you. You are a lucky girl. If you stand here, I will get you a bottle of water, ok?”

“YEAH!! OK! OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!!” her hands flapping as she jumped up and down.

I walked over to the big blue barrel full of ice and bottles of water and grab two. One for Screaming Mimi and one for myself. When I turn back around, I see Zeb, one of the other roadies handing the girl a piece of paper and one of George’s drum sticks. I walk back over and she has finally calmed down to a dull shriek. “OH MY GOD! I got a setlist from tonight’s show AND one of George’s used drumsticks!!! Do you think he really used it?”

“Yep, he used it alright if it came out of that red bucket there.” I had seen George throw about a dozen sticks in there earlier in the evening before their show and before Ross and I secluded ourselves in the shadows against the wall. Those darn butterflies again, this time not just in my solar plexus but between my legs. Yes, good memories and anxiousness for what might be in store someday with Ross.

“How do you know? Are you one of the roadies? Or a sister? How did you get back here? Are you Adam’s girlfriend Lucy? You don’t look like Lucy. No you aren’t Lucy. So who are you?” she rapid fired at me.

“Um, my name is Brynn and Ross and I are seeing each other, but I’ve been a friend of the guys for a bit now.”

“You are dating ROSS?! OH MY GOD you lucky BITCH!!!” She screamed at me.

“Yep, I guess I am a lucky bitch. But look, I’m glad you enjoyed that and I don’t think that Matty has EVER pulled a girl on stage before and sang to her. You keep those mementos safe and hold those memories in your mind forever. A lot of people might be calling YOU the lucky bitch later tonight!”

“OH MY GOD! You are right! I AM a lucky bitch! Thanks, um, Ross’ girlfriend! I forgot your name already, but THANKS!” as she bounced off being led by one of the security guards asking her if she wanted to go back front and center. She did, so he helped her back over the railing and into her friends awaiting arms and screams. Well, that was interesting, I thought to myself.

Ok, back to what was happening on stage. I had easily missed a song during all that screaming and fawning over the great Matty Healy. I wonder if she had screamed “FUCK ME PLEASE” in his face like so many others do. I would have to remember to ask him later!

And there is my Ross, playing away on the stage still, glancing over the look for me occasionally. He sees me as I make my way back to the designated spot. He smiles slyly and raises his eyebrows in question. I point at the girl who was still being mauled by her friends. He nods in understanding. They play all of their great songs, well, all of their songs are great and then it is time for an instrumental. Ross ducks off stage for a few minutes and grabs another bottle of water out of the blue barrel. He opens it and chugs it down.

“Ahhhh” he exclaims. “The crowd is wild tonight,” he tells me, and then pulls me into a bear hug. I thought he would be sweaty, but he really isn’t. There is a little sweat on his brow line, right where that really cute mole is near the crown line of his hair, but other than that, he’s not sweating at all.

“Did you see that thong that hit me square in the face?” he asks me.

Oh yeah, I had seen that and then given the girl that had thrown it the evil eye. But Ross had just laughed and kicked them off the stage. The girl was visibly upset and started screaming profanities at Ross. I could barely make them out but I did get some “fuck you, asshole, won’t get any from me tonight”. Um, yeah, you won’t get ANY from Ross MacDonald you whore. He’s mine, you hear!! Woah, did I say that out loud?

“Yeah, you did,” Ross snickered at me, “and I like it because I feel the same way.” Déjà vu much?

The next song was Chocolate and I scream sing along with the crowd. Then I realized that I hadn’t seen Em or Gillian in a while. Where were they? I scanned backstage and found Em, behind the curtain near George’s drum set. THAT was why he kept reaching behind him. He and Emaleigh could touch – those lucky dogs. I was jealous. I wanted to touch Ross, like right now and I wanted him to touch me back. I noticed that Ross is looking at me during the part of the song where the lyrics have his sister’s name in them. He’s so cute. One of the guys obviously told him about that. I smile at him and make a heart symbol with my index fingers and thumbs. He winks at me and smiles while he is singing. Woah, he makes my heart do flip flops.

So, where has Gillian gotten off to? I finally find her on the right side of the stage in the wing area. She waves at me as she notices me spot her. I wave back and blow her a kiss. She catches it and starts dancing and singing like her crazy self. This is the best vacation EVER!

The boys played 15 songs in their first set. Then I knew there would be an encore after a quick break. Ross flies off the stages and past me saying he has to take a leak and runs as fast as he can to the loo. He is back quickly, but still zipping his jeans. He stops in front of me and licks my lips. I smile at him and tell him he is goofy but that I really like it. He says “You taste good and I wanted to remember what you taste like so the best way to taste you was with my tongue which is full of” “Taste buds!” I finish his sentence. “Ding! You got it!” he says touching my nose with his finger.

The crowd is getting louder and louder screaming for the boys to go back on stage and play another song in an encore for them. “Taste me again,” I tell Ross. He sticks his tongue out to lick me but I put my whole open mouth over it before he has a chance. I feel him melting again as he dives into my mouth with his tongue and grabs me tight around the waist.

“God, woman! I want more of that,” he says to me as he rushes back onto the stage to play their song Robbers. YES! One of my all-time favorites! I know that Settle Down is next and then Sex is the finale. Sex IS the best song of theirs. Ross’ bass resonates through me as he plays with full vigor through Settle Down. I love the bass riffs in that song. They just speak to me for some reason, and have ever since I heard the song for the first time. Ross is singing to me again, at least I think so. He is singing and looking at me, so that means he is singing TO me , right? Yeah, he is smiling at me. He is definitely singing to me. Wait, what is he singing?

“We get back to my house, your hands, my mouth,” then he looks away into the crowd each time, but back at me to sing those words. There are those stomach flip flops again. I sing it back to him the third time. He smiles widely at me and raises his eyebrows at the same time. I love his eyebrows I think to myself. They kind of arch a little in the middle and they are sexy, just like him.

And finally, they play my all-time favorite of theirs – Sex. I sing the entire song, noticing that Ross is watching me sing and seems to forget his adoring fans are standing in front of him. When the song is over, he throws his picks out in the crowd and the towel from around his neck. The girls scream to him, “I LOVE YOU ROSS!” and “MARRY ME” along with the obligatory “FUCK ME” here and there. Ross smiles and waves to the crowd and rushes off with the other boys, well, all except Matty who went the other way and is dancing around with Gillian. Oh, and George, who has ducked behind the curtain and is mashing faces with Emaleigh. Ok, everyone is where they should be. Good.

“Are you going to go out and meet the crowd tonight, Ross?”, Adam inquires.

“I think we probably should, but I really just want to get out of here and be with my girl. Is Lucy coming in tonight?”

“Yeah, really late, so I am going to be at her loft waiting on her. I love that she has lofts in three cities so I can stay with her when we are in town.”

“Ok, cool, and yeah, that’s cool. I’m taking Brynn back to the hotel with me tonight, that is if you are ok with that, Brynn?”

Adam punches Ross in the shoulder and says “you go get ‘em Tiger” as if I am not even standing there, “but don’t let Matty know because he might punch you in the throat” Adam tells Ross.

“Matty can go fly a kite,” I say to Adam. “It is my choice when Ross and I do it and if tonight is the night I decide to fuck his brains out, Matty will have to get the blood hell over it!”

“Bloody hell is right!” I hear exclaimed behind me. “Oh, hi Matty” I say with a grin on my face. “You and my mate Ross are hookin’ up tonight, huh?” Matty asks.

“Ok fine, for everyone’s information, if we do anything, we are both consenting adults and anyways, I am wearing his necklace if you haven’t noticed!”

They all look – Matty, Adam, Gillian, and suddenly George and Em are there too, gawking at my chest where Ross’ prized custom-made necklace hangs.

“Woah! This is a new development,” says George pointing at the necklace. “He wouldn’t even let me touch the effing thing when he first got it. I would say it is serious, wouldn’t you mates?”

“Ok, dudes, it is serious, and back the fuck off my dick,” Ross says to the boys who are still exclaiming and gawking at the rectangle hanging between my breasts, “because if you guys are staring at her tits, those tits are MINE and only I can stare at and touch them, right babe?” Ross motions to me.

“Damn straight. They are his to do with as he pleases, thank you very much.” I declare to Matty and George. Adam is already distracted and looking at his phone in his hand.

“Ok, but if you hurt her Ross ….”

“I am not going to fucking hurt her. Well, I might … no I won’t finish that. It is between me and Brynn.”

“He’s not going to hurt me Matthew. I know what I am getting into and I know what I am letting him into … (meaning me). This is moving fast, I know, but I like it and Ross seems to like it and we are happy and are giving it a real go, right babe?”

“Right, a real go. Did you just call me babe? I like that. No one has called me babe before.” Ross says to me as he leans over and kisses my cheek.

“Ugh! The sick sappy shit has gotta stop!” Matty screams. “You guys go on and do what you are going to do and I’m going to go find some more wine and a joint. Gillian? Do you want to join me?”

They leave Ross and I standing there after they say their good nights and see you tomorrows and text me/you laters. He puts his hands on my shoulders and says “Are you ok?”

“I’m good and they will get used to it after a while I think. Are we set here?”

“Sure. Let me go grab my stuff from the Green room then we can head out. The room we stay in is provided by the venue, and since it is just four guys, they only give us one room. Is that ok?”

“Adam already said he won’t be there, and Matty will be out late with Gillian. George and Em usually go to the tour bus, right?”

I kiss his arm through his short sleeved shirt. “More time alone with you will make this girl very happy.”

“I like making you happy. I think I could get used to doing that often.”

“I like you making me happy. Oh hell, I just like you.”

“Ha! I like you, too.” He said back, stopping me just outside the Green room. “I like you a lot, Brynn. Actually, I think it is more than like honestly, but I won’t say it until you are ready and feel the same way.”

“I am already falling for you, Ross, don’t push me over the edge” I say joking with him. He leans in for a kiss, the number of which I have no clue, but it still feels like the first one as the sparks shoot through my body and the fireworks go off behind my closed eyelids. This man can sure kiss.

“MMMmmmmm”, he groans, “lets get out of here. Fans be damned. They can wait.”

But when we left the backstage door, Lou was there with a fevered look on his face. “They are like wild animals tonight, Mr. MacDonald” he says.

“Ok, I got it,” Ross replies to him. He tells me to say right there that he will go take 5 minutes and sign some autographs and let some fans snap pics with him. He does just that, smiling all the while, but I notice he is having to push some of the girls off of him. I guess normally he would have chosen a few of them to take back to his hotel or tour bus and then that one lucky girl would have … my thought trailed off because I didn’t want to think of any other girl with MY Ross. Not anymore. They cannot have him. I want him, to be with me exclusively. Suddenly Ross is by my side. “Those girls are pissed tonight!” he exclaims.

“They want you, huh?” I ask him.

“I guess so, but when I told them I had to get back to my girl, they turned on me! Told me that it was their turn and when I told them that I’m taken, they all started cussing at me and then George and Em showed up and they started squawking at them. So, let’s take advantage of the distraction and bolt. Good night, Lou. Thanks for your service again tonight! You rock!”

“Are you sure this is what you want?” I ask Ross, “to be exclusive. With me? Are you sure?”

“I am more than sure, Brynn. I want to be with you. I told you that this morning. I want to see you, SEE you. Be with you in every way possible. I didn’t know that completely this morning when I told you that I wanted to date you, but as this day has gone on and we have spent it together, I know in my heart and my gut that I only want to be with you. Tonight and tomorrow and the day after and as many days as I can think ahead. Just you.” And with that, he pulled me in tight against him on the side of a building and kissed me hard, running his hands over my body and in my hair and pulling my ass close him and beginning to grind his hips on mine again.

“Oh wow, I just can’t stop doing that. I’m sorry, love,” he says to me stopping the grinding motion. “I do not want you to think that I am going to bed you tonight and then leave you in the morning like some groupie. You are not like that to me and I don’t want you to think that ever.”

“Thank you for that. Not because I was thinking it, but thank you for thinking of me and saying that.”

“Come on. Let’s go to the room. I’ve got some beer there if you want some?”

“We will see. I’m not a big beer fan, but maybe one,” I respond to him, linking my hand with his as we walk again.


	9. And on this night and in this light, I think I'm falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He moans that deep vibrating moan again that makes me want to strip him naked and have my way with him right here and now.

We arrived at his hotel room, which was just a standard hotel room as far as Paris is concerned. I had not seen any other hotel rooms in France, but it was very similar to what you would find in a four star hotel in the States. Two beds, nice mattresses or what I could tell were nice mattresses based off my bouncing up and down on one of them, a dresser with a TV on top, a mini bar tray next to it, and a table and two chairs in the corner.

“Want to play some Halo with me?” Ross asks.

“Absolutely! I’m SO going to kick your butt!”

“HA! No way! I will be the only one doing any butt kicking around here tonight!”

“We will see about that, shorty,” I tell him poking him in the chest, standing on my tip toes trying to make myself taller.

“Shorty? Who you calling SHORTY?” He says tackling me onto one of the beds pinning me down with his body.

“Opf,” I say, laughing “well, ok, fine, maybe shorty wasn’t right, maybe biggy is better?”

“Well, aren’t you the comedian tonight,” he says.

Then he kisses me. He starts with just a peck on my lips, then comes in for another kisses that linger just a little longer than the one before as if he is testing the temperature of my lips, then when he comes back for the third time, he stays there, kissing me deeply, running his tongue over my lips until I part them for him and let his tongue and my tongue mingle in each other’s mouths. He moans that deep vibrating moan again that makes me want to strip him naked and have my way with him right here and now. I let my hands wander up and down his back on the outside of his shirt at first then meander underneath and he moans again, this time longer and deeper. He rolls us both over to where we are both laying on our sides and he starts stroking the back of my head, down my back then up my side where his palm just brushes my left breast.

“Mmmmmm,” he says, “I could definitely keep going, but I have an ass to kick, don’t I?”

I snort-laugh, “Oh sure, AN ass to kick. You couldn’t be referring to MY ass, could you?”

And at that, he grabs my ass in both of his hands and rolls over onto his back and plants me on top of him, still holding tight.

“Yeah, DAT ass!” he says.

“Ummm, dat ass!” I say back to him trying to reach under him to grab his, but fail miserably. We both laugh at that.

“I’m so glad I keep my nails short, otherwise I would have likely broken them all off trying to get my hands under your hard ass!” I say to him.

“I’m glad you keep your nails short, too. I really don’t like the look of long nails!” he tells me.

Ok, keep that one in the memory banks, but I really never do wear my nails long. They grow to a certain stage and then usually break. My mom has arthritis that causes her nails to break periodically, so I might one day have the same diagnosis, but that has nothing to do with Ross’ ass, does it?!

I grab Ross’ hand and start to stand up saying “We have a game to play, sir”.

Ross rises off the bed and gets the game system out of the cabinet under the television setting it all up. I ask him where the beers are and he tells me that they are in the mini fridge and anything that I want out of there or off the mini bar tray to help myself. I grab him a beer and check out the mini bar. There are 12 small bottles of liquor, one of which is Wild Turkey American Honey. Check! My favorite! But I hadn’t seen it anywhere since I had been out of the States. I grab a short glass, drop in a few ice cubes, unscrew the cap off the mini bottle and pour it over the ice. I glance over at Ross and notice he is watching.

“You like whiskey? Straight up?” he says, cocking one of his eyebrows up at me.

“Yep, love it!” I tell him.

“Wow! My kind of woman!” he says, “what else do you drink?”

A conversation about alcohol and our tastes for different kinds and brands ensures over a heated game of Halo. He likes beer mostly, but also enjoys vodka. I will partake in some vodka but only if it is mixed in something fruity to cut the taste. It is like drinking straight rubbing alcohol to me. When I tell Ross that, he laughs heartily again questioning my taste bud. He supposes if I can handle whiskey straight, I can handle vodka straight. I poke him side at that remark and the die again in the game. He does kick my ass, but I am ok with that. We start another round of the game and our conversation morphs into one about our families. He tells me that his mum and dad have been together for over 30 years, that he has an older brother and a younger sister, Rebecca. He and Becca are close, but not because they are closer in age than he and his brother, but they just have more in common. His brother joined the military straight out of school and is now in the same guard that William was in, as in Prince William. So then we talk a bit about the royal family, how important they are to all Brits and the fact that Will and Kate have just announced their second pregnancy. We also make our wagers on whether it will be a boy or a girl. I bet girl, Ross bets boy because only boys can gain the throne he says. THEN we have a semi-heated argument over who can be crowned and why can’t girls be crowned because Queen Elizabeth was crowned and she DID say that if Will and Kate’s first baby had been a girl, she would have made her heir to the throne, but then it was a boy and George would naturally assume the throne after his dad, so what did it matter if it were a boy or a girl anyway at this point. It was just a fun conversation mostly jesting at each other, but also a good way to get to know one another in some our musing. 

Then he asks me about my family and I explain its strange dynamic. My mom is a nurse, just like her mom had been a nurse. My grandmother died when my mom was in her early teens, so I never had the chance to meet her, but I have heard all about her. My grandfather, my mom’s dad, passed away when I was about 10, but I do remember him a little. We called him Pop Pop. I always remember him being sick when I was little. My dad was a doctor and he and my mom split when I was little, about 7 if I remember right. Dad and mom just didn’t work out, which I didn’t understand when I was little, but I got now. My little sister, who is 4 years younger than me, still doesn’t get it and she might not ever. She was two when they split and three when mom remarried. The guy she remarried was a doctor too, but he cheated on mom repeatedly so they had divorced as well. I have another younger sister from that union and she is just now a teen. She likes a lot of the same things I do and is being homeschooled right now and seems happy. I missed my sisters I realized. My mom was seeing a guy that was from Greece originally and they seemed happy – happy together and happy to maybe never get married. I was ok with that too. My dad’s dad had died when I was about 3, and my grandmum was still alive and kicking it at almost 90! She is a hoot! I couldn’t wait to introduce her and Ross to each other. He seemed very receptive to that idea as well and asked me where she lived.

“Grandmum lives in Florida by the gulf coast. It is hot and humid there during the summer, but in the spring it is beautiful and temperate. That is the best time to go, by far.”

“I want you to meet my family, too,” he said to me. “All four of my grandparents are alive and live in Scotland currently.”

“Scotland?! Are you Scottish?” I ask him.

“I am of Scottish heritage, but I was born in London. My dad was born in Scotland, but my mum was born in London, like me, then her parents moved back to Scotland when my mum and dad got married.”

Then I explained my twisted heritage – Scottish, Irish, English, German, and some royal thrown in there. My mom did a lot of genealogy and she had come across a family line that leads to the Windsor family. Yep, THAT Windsor family. We had joked since then about not being invited to the royal wedding and all we really wanted to know was where is our castle?!

During our long conversation about our families and what growing up had been like, Ross grabbed a second, then third beer and then called down to the kitchen for them to bring up 4 more mini bottles of honey whiskey for me, much to my protest. I told him that I might be able to have one more, but more than that, I would be sleeping and drooling like a baby on one of those beds in no time. He joked that he would be able to have his way with me then, but then quickly retracted that saying that he was joking and would never do such a thing to me or any other woman. I knew he was kidding, but let him flounder all over himself trying to take it back. I finally saved him with a small kiss on the lips stopping him in mid-sentence.

After a few more heated battles of Halo, then an attempt to play some other game that neither of us had ever heard of and was just weird with aliens and vibrating controllers and lots of side stories that interrupted the game play, we opted to play a hand of Uno. Uno is hard with just two people, but it is doable. Then we decided a game of War would be good with a regular deck of cards. I won the first two rounds, and then when I started yawning profusely, I let him win the third round and told him I was going to head back to the hostel. He protested greatly and asked me if I would be comfortable sleeping in the bed next to him, no improper behavior, fully clothed, just some kissing, light petting and some sleeping if we desire – his words completely.

Of course I wanted to stay with him and sleep in his arms, and we planned to do just that, after some kissing and some light petting on top of the clothes and just under my shirt. Then he gave me one of his t-shirts and told me I could change into that if I wanted so I could be more comfortable. And I did change, in the bathroom with the door opened slightly. I thought he might try to peek, but I did not see him try, much to my disappointment.

I put my folded clothes and my shoes on the unused luggage rack in the closet and walked back into the main room. Ross had pulled down the covers but was lying on top of them in only a pair of shorts.

“I usually sleep in just my pants (meaning underwear), but I won’t do that tonight since we are just getting to know each other,” he said to me.

“That’s ok,” I replied, “if you want to sleep in just your pants, I’m ok with that.”

“I'll stay like this for now,” he said and I nodded letting him know I understood. I understood that if there was less clothes between us than there is now, we might not be able to keep putting the brakes on.

I climbed on the bed and snuggled up next to him wearing just his baggy t-shirt and my underwear. With my head on his chest and my left arm flung over him, he put his left arm around me and rested it on my hip. I began to stroke his chest and chest hairs with my fingertips and he sighed.

“That feels really good,” he said. And then he began to stroke my side and my back reaching just to the tops of my ass cheeks and then back up my side and back. Then he rolled over to face me and kissed me. Again, starting softly then working his way up to a full on make out session with tongues and little nips on each other’s bottom lips. Our hands worked on each other’s backs and the backs of our necks and heads. He pulled me in closer to him and I wrapped my left leg around him again, this time feeling the bulge in his shorts near my own scantily clad crotch.

I moaned first to let him know that I like the feel of his body against mine and everything that he is currently doing to it. He reached around to the front of my body underneath my shirt and began to caress my left breast.

“It fits perfectly into the palm of my hand,” he murmurs, “as if it were made specifically for me.” I giggled at that. He was right, it did fit perfectly. He gently kneaded it with his fingers and played with the nipple in between his finger and thumb.

“And I like the way it reacts to my touch,” he said.

“Mhmmm,” was all I could manage to respond. His hands feel so good and his mouth is devouring my mouth and I just cannot manage to get more out between that and my brain turning into mush.

“Love, I really want to keep going and not stop with what I am doing, but I am going to stop and cuddle you until we both go to sleep, ok?” he says to me.

“Ok, babe. That will be fine. I am tired and sleeping in your arms sounds divine,” I respond to him.

I know that he is putting on the brakes again when neither one of us really wants to, and if he had pushed, I would have been glad to keep going. It seemed we both want to wait though and make sure that this is really what we want, even though I already know that it is what I want. I want him. He is being a good boy though and not blowing our relationship with sex on the first night together. There will be time for that, and we both know it. He pulls me in tight one more time, and I feel the bulge trying to break out of his shorts again, and kisses me good and proper, then shifts us both under the covers, lying his back again and I snuggle close.

It must have been a few hours later when I heard Matty come into the room. Ross and I both looked up at him and he stoped dead in his tracks and looked at us.

“Did you guys do it?!” he asked us.

We say no, shake our heads and show him that we still have clothes on under the covers. Matty nods and flops on the bed pulling the covers over backwards onto his body and immediately started snoring softly.

“He’s knackered,” Ross says. I nod and cuddle back into him again.

Many hours later, I wake up to Ross rolling away from me and pulling me towards him with his arm behind him. I spoon him completely with my knees tucked up tight behind his and he sighs and drifts back to sleep. I can tell this based from his steady breathing. I drift off again too with a smile on my face.

* * *

 

When I awake to sunlight pouring into the room the next morning because we left the curtains wide open the night before, I am facing the wall and this time Ross is spooning me from behind. I feel something start poking me in my ass and realize that Ross is getting a woody. I respond to it with a quiet moan and he realizes I am awake and pulls me closer into him. He reaches under my shirt and starts fondling my breasts with his right hand as he nuzzles the side and the back of my neck and the top of my shoulders just exposed from his too big of a shirt on me. I reach behind me with my right hand and grab his leg and bring it over mine and press my right leg back into his hard on. He moans into my neck and bites a little into the soft part of my shoulder. Not hard enough to hurt, but just enough to leave a mark and make my desire rise. His hand starts to trail down my stomach and stops just at the top of my panties. He hesitates as he starts to go straight underneath them, then obviously changes his mind based on his groan and instead his hand slides on top of them in between my legs. He pulls me close with his hand there and groans again.

“Oh god, I could take you right here,” he says very softly into my right ear trailing behind his statement with his tongue.

“And I would let you if we didn’t have company,” I respond quietly.

“Matty would sleep through World War 3 after drinking as much as he did yesterday”, he says into my ear again with his tongue again following his words.

“Not with someone else in the room, especially someone I think of as my brother,” I say to Ross.

“Oh I wouldn’t do it with Matty in the room either. I was just making a statement. God, you feel so good, Brynn”, again following with his tongue in my ear.

“If you don’t stop that, I’m going to maul you Ross MacDonald,” I tell him.

“I’m not ever going to stop then,” he says, but stops anyways this time putting his full attention on my neck just under my ear.

“That’s almost as bad”, I whisper to him, my hand pulling his leg in tighter.

Then his slips his hand just under the top band of my panties and he asks me if it is ok, to which I can only respond with a nod against him. His hand slides under and I spread my legs slightly so he can do as he pleases.

“Oh god,” he murmurs into my neck. His fingers quickly find my fleshy folds and find that nub that will send me into the next world. He rubs it gently with his finger and says to me “are you sure?” Again, I can only nod and I put my hand behind me and find his bulge in his shorts and start caressing it and rubbing it with my palm through the fabric. His fingers slide down a little farther exploring my silky flower until they find that treasured prize and he sucks in air as he slides the tip of his finger inside my opening.

“You are so wet,” he exclaims. Again, I can only nod and moan slightly continuing to caress his cock with the palm of my hand and turn slightly towards him to reach him better and give him better access to me as well. Ross takes a second to look behind him and ascertains that Matty is still out cold with his back towards us and face towards the windows.

He quickly brings his attention back to caressing my private area which is throbbing by this point, just like his penis beneath his shorts. He slips one finger into my pussy and then back up my folds to find my clit again circling it and pinching it slightly with his fingers slick from my juices. He repeats this motion over and over, sliding a finger or two inside of me then caressing my clit and pinching it slightly. I quickly realize that I am about to have an orgasm.

“I’m going to come if you don’t stop,” I whisper to his lips as I turn my head towards him and he brings his lips to me.

“Good, I’m not stopping and I’m going to come in my own shorts,” he says all breathy.

In quick order, I am having a full fledge clitoral orgasm as he quickens his pace alternating between my wet pussy and fondling my clit with accuracy and ease. I feel his cock begin to twitch more and then he makes this noise way deep down in his throat that I have never heard before and feel a wetness begin on his shorts. He brings his mouth down on mine to muffle our sounds of pleasure as we both climax from each other’s touch .

“Oh god, babe,” he says to me. “I didn’t mean for that to happen, but I couldn’t help myself. You feel so good when I touch you, and when you opened up to me and I felt how wet you were, I couldn’t stop. Are you mad?”

“Hell no, I’m not mad!” I whisper to him turning my body to face him completely. He brings his fingers up to his mouth and nose, smells and then plunges his fingers into his mouth and licks my juices completely off. “Yeah, I knew you would taste good that way too.”

I kiss him and he kisses back. Then we just lay there, stroking each other’s backs, breathing deeply regaining our composure and relishing in each other completely. I nearly fall back to sleep and I’m pretty sure Ross almost did too, and then Matty stirred in his bed next to ours.

“It smells like sex in here,” he said.

Ross and I burst out laughing.

“Did you guys fuck?!” Matty asks us.

“Nope,” we both say at the same time.

“Weird. Must just be a dream I had or something. I thought for sure that I was dreaming about sex or something, and I could almost hear it completely, and then when I woke up, I thought for sure I smelled fresh fucking in this room. I still do,” he said taking an audibly big whiff of the air.

Ross jumped up out of bed at that point, standing where Matty could not see his csome stained shorts and then walked around the bed and pulled me out from under the covers where Matty can only see my ass clad in panties.

“Nice bum!” Matty exclaimed.

“Eyes to yourself, Healy,” Ross told him as he led me to the bathroom.

“No promises,” Matty countered, “and no sex in there because I will have to wizz eventually you two.”

“No promises,” I responded.

Ross chuckled at that, then closed the bathroom door and pinned me against it. He kissed me good and long and then asked me if he could use the loo with me in there. I told him I would turn my back and not peek and he chuckled again and said ok. When he was finished urinating, he asked me if I wanted to shower and when I said that I would need to go back to the hostel to do that because all of my toiletries were there, he asked if I minded if he did. I told him it was fine, and stepped out to get my clothes while he got out of his stained shorts and went behind the shower curtain with the water streaming down on him. I came back in the bathroom and told him I was going to get dressed in there while he showered and he said that would be fine. He began to hum a tune while he soaped up his hair and body and I got dressed and brushed my hair. I still was feeling the aftermath of my orgasm and could feel it more so when I put my tight jeans on. If that was any indication of how making love to him would be, I was more than willing to forego waiting a long time. I was still in the bathroom applying lotion to my arms and face when Ross turned off the water and slid back the curtain. He told me I could look, and I thought for sure I would turn around to see him with a huge boner, but he had a white towel wrapped around his waist. I giggled as he stepped out of the shower and he placed both arms around me pinning me to the bathroom counter. We kissed and in the warmth of his post-shower bathroom air, I wondered if it was the heat from the shower or if it Ross that made me lose my breath a little. It was definitely Ross I surmised.

“Want to walk me back to the hostel?” I asked him ask we broke for air.

“Definitely,” he said. “I want to be with you as much as you will allow me. The tour bus leaves in about an hour, but I would like to ride the rail with you to Germany if you don’t mind?”

“I would love that,” I told him with a quick peck on his lips.

“We can just check the Euro rail schedule and see what suits us and take it from there,” Ross said.

And we did just that while we walked back to the hostel that Em, Gillian and I were staying in. Well, that my stuff was staying in, because I certainly didn’t stay there last night. Boy, I’m so glad I didn’t stay there last night. Em and Gillian were both there and packing up when Ross and I arrived.

“There you are!” Em said to me, even though I had texted her last night and told her I was staying out and again this morning telling her I was heading back and Ross was with me.

“George is going to ride the rail with us today too!” she exclaimed. Oh good, a guy for Ross to chat with when I had to go to the loo, I chuckled to myself.

“Matty asked me to ride on the tour bus with him, Adam and Lucy, so I think I will do that if you guys don’t mind,” Gillian asked us. Of course we didn’t mind, but I did wonder if she and Matty were becoming a thing. I would just wait and watch, but I didn’t see Matty doing anything that would do more than take his mind off of Gemma, and Gillian never liked long term relationships, so maybe this would be good for both of them. I didn’t see Matty liking a red-head though, but there are first times for everything. First times. That made me remember this morning with Ross and us both giving each other orgasms with our hands/fingers. That was a first for us. I felt the heat rise up in my cheeks and in my crotch. I was looking forward to many more firsts with him! I turned around from grabbing a change of clothes and my toiletries bag to head to the communal shower room and find Ross staring at me. Did he know what I was just thinking? Probably not, but I sauntered over to him and pulled his waist towards me and nuzzle his neck with my lips. I moaned softly just so he could hear and whisper to him “I was just thinking about this morning. I’m so glad we didn’t stop again.” He pulled me tight and nuzzled my neck as well. “Me too,” he said. We held our embrace for a short while, then I broke it off and went to shower and get ready.

I was back within 15 minutes and Ross said he was impressed with my speed. I told him that I can get ready quickly when motivated and winked at him. We finished packing our belongings and then went to check out of the hostel and settle our bills. I love staying in hostels. Not only are they cheap, but the convenience is really nice as well. And it might prove to be smart if Ross and I were going to spend many nights together in the future.

It was a five hour trip on the bus to Cologne, Germany from where we were in Paris. The euro rail was a little bit faster, but I knew that we would be together most of the day regardless. The girls and I had reserved a hostel in Germany in each of the four cities that Ross and the band were playing in. We would be checking in when we got there but I would be ecstatic if Ross asked me to stay with him again that night. I also knew that the next four days would go fast and I hoped that Ross and I would continue to grow closer. I wasn’t sure what would happen once this time was done because the girls and I would go on to Greece and the boys had their tour. Neither of us could deviate from the set course.


	10. I'm Falling For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner was lost to us both after we agreed to be exclusive.

The four days did go fast, just as I imagined. There had been a lot of cuddling and kissing on the train to Germany. Then there was that minor freak out when Matty and Adam’s guitar cases were missing for a few hours. Turned out that one of the Bad Suns roadies had grabbed them with their stuff. They were returned and all was good again.

The shows were awesome as usual – well, it WAS The 1975 after all. Nights with Ross were amazing. We either hung out at his hotel room provided by the venues or at my hostel room the nights that we got a private room and Gill and Em didn’t want to use it – for sleeping at least. There was a set rule between the three of us. No sex in the hostels. We snuggled and made out mostly, but there was some heavy petting mixed in, but only when we were alone in his room.

One night after the show, we were sitting on the couch in the hotel room in Frankfurt – he was on one end and I was on the other end, facing each other. His legs were stretched out with one of my legs on his and one of his legs on mine. He was writing some chords down on a piece of blank sheet music and I was picking through a book I had picked up in the airport before we left New York. Anne Rice Interview with a Vampire. Ross had put on the radio which was playing some familiar tunes and other not so familiar German pop music. I looked at him over my book and he was so intense, thinking hard and writing down his notes in quick fashion. He looked so gorgeous sitting there, I couldn’t help myself from touching him just a little more. I started rubbing my foot on his slightly hairy upper leg and then underneath the hem of his running shorts. I could just barely feel his bulge with my big toe. He sighed and looked at me. I smiled slyly at him and continued rubbing, this time on the outside of his shorts, my food rubbing up and down the shaft of his penis. I could feel it growing beneath the sole of my foot. He dropped his hand holding the piece of paper and let it and the pencil fall to the floor. He grabbed my other leg and started stroking my ankle and calf. He would sigh and groan as I continued to stroke his cock with my foot, up and down, up and down in a slow but steady rhythm. Suddenly, he grabbed both of my ankles and pulled me quickly towards him putting me on top of his crotch. He grabbed my hips and began sliding his cock against my sleep shorts. I gasped at the quick change in position and the feeling of his hard dick against my pussy. I began moving my hips with him in a rhythmic fashion and strategically placing my clit where it would be massaged by his cock through our clothes. I was again wearing one of his shirts, which he seemed to like as much as I did. He slid his hands underneath the shirt and began fondling both of my breasts, not leaving one missing any of the action.

“Oh my god, you feel so good. How do you turn me on so quickly?” he exclaimed.

“The same way you do for me I suppose,” I said back to him. I bent down to kiss his face and he continued the motion for me, rubbing in just that right spot where I found I was catching my breath very quickly.

His hands were on my ass then, rubbing the cheeks outside of my shorts and then gaining access to the inside through the top band in the back. He grabbed my ass as he ground his cock into my pussy through our clothes. I nibbled on his ear lobe and he reciprocated sending me further over the edge.

“I’m going to come,” I told him murmuring into his shoulder as he continued to play with my ear with his tongue and teeth.

“Oh thank god, me too,” he said and we came together on the soft hotel sofa, fully clothed.

* * *

We did grow closer in those days, learning more about each other, our likes and dislikes. He revealed no deal breakers for me and seemed the same for Ross. The last night in Germany, Ross asked me to have dinner with him after the show. This was an occasional occurrence, or we would have eaten before the show and snack later, but tonight, he made a point to ask me to have dinner with him. It was around midnight when the show was done and he grabbed my hand and led me down the street away from the concert hall. We walked for about 10 minutes, really just taking our time being together, hand in hand and enjoying the quiet and togetherness. We finally stopped at a park next to a river. There, in amongst the trees, Ross had arranged for someone to set up a table for two, lit with dozens of string lights hanging in the two trees that canopied over us. We sat now, across from each other, picking at our food and barely eating.

“Did you do this all yourself?” I asked Ross.

“I had some help, but the meal is a menu that I created, however I find that I am not really hungry for what was prepared,” he said staring longingly into my eyes. I stared back wanting to memorize all of his features so that I could recall them until the next time I could see him again. He had trimmed his beard I noticed and shaven cleanly all around the rest of his face. His brown eyes sparkled in the candle light.

“You look beautiful tonight,” he told me.

“I was just thinking the same about you,” I said back.

We just sat there, holding each other’s hands across the table and he held my feet intertwined in his feet under the table.

“I don’t want you to leave,” he said to me.

“I don’t want to leave either,” I replied sighing slightly, looking tenderly at him.

“I know you can’t forego the rest of your trip and we can’t forego our tour by any means. When will I see you again?”

I pulled a piece of paper and pen out of my small purse and as I wrote the rest of the cities we would be in and when, I said them out loud. Finally, I wrote when I would be home back in the States. He asked me to add my home address at the bottom smiling at me, so I did. He pulled my hand towards him when I handed him the piece of paper, pulling me out of my seat and around the table towards him. He invited me to sit in his lap by patting it with one hand, so I sat parallel to him and put my hands on his cheeks. He kissed me softly and whispered to me that he would make arrangements so that we could see each other again soon. Then he asked me to be his exclusively and asked if he could be mine exclusively. I thought we had already established this, but it never hurts to be sure and firm things up, I thought. He wants reassurance that I will not run off and date the next hot bass player I find, and I giggled slightly. That would never happen. I was his as long as he wanted me. Dinner was lost to us both after we agreed to be exclusive. His lips were suddenly on mine, on my neck, earlobe, collarbone, and everything else was lost to me but him.

“I know it has only been days or a week, I don't know, I've lost count, but I think this is right and I don’t want this to just end. We will figure something out and in the meantime, we can call, and text, and Skype, ok?” he said to me.

I nodded, tears forming in the corner of my eyes. He kissed them away and hugged me close. This whirlwind romance was ending, but not really, it was just changing I guess.

We abandoned our romantic dinner and headed back to his room and cuddled and snuggled the rest of the night, saying sweet things to each other intermixed with make out sessions and finally fell asleep in each other’s arms around 4 am. My alarm went off at 7 and I turned it off quickly. I didn’t want the reality of parting from him to begin quite yet. I felt him stir and he snuggled up against me.

“I love you,” I heard him say softly into the back of my head.

 _Was he still asleep and dreaming_ , I thought? I turned my head and looked back as best as I could and saw him peering at me with his eyes wide open. I rolled over completely, my heart rolling more than the rest of my body, my stomach with those darn butterflies again.

He said it again. “I mean it, Brynn. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Ross,” I said back with tears in my eyes again. We embraced as if we never wanted to part. I kissed him, long and hard, filling his mouth with my tongue and pulling him close to me with my arms. He rolled on top of me and quickly looked to the next bed to see if Matty or either of the other guys had ever shown up. They had not. He looked down at me and said “I really mean it. I love you and I want to see you again as soon as possible.” Then he kissed me long, hard and profoundly moving his hips in-between my legs and rubbing his hardening cock against my crotch. “We may not be ready to go all the way yet, but I still wanted to let you know that I care for you so deeply, the only way I can express to you is to say that it is love. It is love, Brynn. I have never felt this way about anyone and it grows each day,” all the while, grinding his cock still sheathed in his shorts against my clit clad in lacy underwear. Very quickly we both reached our climax and came together, a not so rare occurrence when we rubbed every part of our bodies against each other.

“You get me so wound up, I could rip your clothes off and take you right here,” he breathed to me, “but I am happy with just this for now. I don’t know what I am going to do without you near so I can caress your beautiful soft body.”

He then cupped both of my breasts and said “What size bra do you wear, my love?”

I smacked him lightly and said “that’s a weird question!”

“No seriously, I want to know everything about you, and that is one question that I have not asked you before. What cup size do you have?”

“Wanna take a guess?” I asked him, closing my eyes slightly as he continued to mold my breasts.

“I’m bad with sizes, especially bra sizes. They vary so much between countries, but I understand the American bra system. Becca is an aspiring designer, so she used to talk my ear off about that kind of stuff all the time.”

“I’m a 32 C,” I said to him.

“A firm 32 C is right,” he said, moaning slightly into my ear again, pressing his crotch against my leg again so that I could feel his dick starting to respond to the tactile experience we were both currently enjoying. “A C cup. That is perfect. They feel perfect, and real, and mmmmm.” I moaned when he said that, as he still was massaging my breasts and occasionally pinching the nipples between his forefinger and thumb.

“What is your pants size, then,” he asked next, breathing it into my ear gently.

“Size 4, American”, I said kissing his neck in response.

“And shirt size?” he murmured into my neck,

“Small or medium depends on the cut and how loose or tight I want it to fit,” I said, “oh my god, your mouth is heaven on my neck right there.”

“Your neck tastes like heaven,” he responded.

“How tall are you?” he asked next, still trailing kisses and love bites along my neck line all while pressing his cock into my leg and massaging my breasts one at a time or both  when he could maneuver correctly.

“Five foot six and a half”, I moaned. “Are you going to ask how much I weigh now?”

“Nope, but I want to find out one day when you are sitting on top of me bouncing on my cock,” he said nibbling my ear lobe.

“Oh yes, you will definitely find that out one day. And it will be with my hair falling all around us and me coming on top of you.”

“Oh god, I’m going to mess my shorts again,” he said, and he did.  

After we begrudgingly rolled out of bed, we still couldn’t let go of each other. He held me from behind as I brushed my teeth and put moisturizer on my face. I held him from behind while he shaved his neck and trimmed around his beard. We held each other as we just held each other, sighing and nuzzling each other’s necks. My train was at 9, but we had spent an hour in bed pleasuring each other through our clothes and professing our growing love. My phone buzzed and it was Gillian making sure I was up and going to be meeting them at the station. I responded that I would be there whether I wanted to be or not. She told me she understood, was sorry, and would bring the tissues. I wanted to punch her, but she might have been right.

Ross carried my bag for me, even though it had wheels and I could roll it. He put his other arm around my shoulders and held me tight as we left his hotel and headed to the rail station. I held on tight to him with both of my arms wrapped around him under his jacket. It was going to be a long ride for us girls, going all the way to Greece today, but I would probably sleep and dream about Ross the whole way. When we arrived at the station, he pulled me in close before we went through the doors.

“I know we only have a few minutes, but I was not kidding when I said I love you and we will see each other again soon,” and he kissed my lips softly and then kissed my nose and finally pulled my head into his shoulder. He sighed a few times and so did I. We held on for dear life, again not wanting to part. “Come on, love” he said as we finally parted, grabbing my hand and pulling it into his body. We walked into the station to find not only Em and Gillian waiting there, but George, Adam, Lucy and Matty. We gave hugs all around and Em and George started their last make out session of the day. I wanted another make out session with Ross, but I knew that I would never get on that train if we started that again. He had things to do, like a recording session back in England in a few days, and me, I had sightseeing to finish as well as a job to complete. I hadn’t forgotten that I was working on this vacation, but I wanted to be with Ross and focus on just him as much as I could before we parted. When Matty hugged me, he squeezed me extra tight and asked me if I was still happy. I told him that of course I was and he told me he could tell and kissed my forehead and then shook Ross’ hand. He told Ross that he was sorry for giving him a hard time about being with me and he could see that giving it a go was working out very well.

The train arrived and we were allowed to start boarding. Gill and Em went in to find us good seats and Ross and I stood there holding each other.

“Soon, I promise.” He said to me.

“I’m going to hold you to that,” I said in response.

“Just hold me to you and I will forever be a happy man,” he said, kissing me long and hard one last time for the day.

I slowly boarded the train and turned to look at him. He was looking down, bottom lip sticking out slightly and I ran back and kissed him again.

“Smile for me when we pull away knowing we will see each other soon,” I asked him.

“I promise,” he said.

I boarded the train for the second time, looking back at Ross who was smiling a genuine smile at me. I blew him a kiss and went around the corner to find my girlfriends. They had picked seats where we could see the guys as we pulled out of the station as we began our trip. I waved to Ross when I sat down and he waved to me. Em stood up and lowered the window and George ran over and put his hand in and Em grabbed it and smothered it with kisses. Yeah, they were cute too. Ross came over and put his palm against the window and the train lunged forward a bit. I put my hand on the inside pane of the window covering his and looked at him, smiling and mouthed “I love you.” He mouthed it back to me as well, then the train started to move again and we were off. We waved as long as we could see them thinking they could still see us, but who knew.

I settled back into my seat and Gillian handed me a box of tissues. “Need this girlfriend?” she asked. “No, not yet,” I replied, “but looks like Em could,” I said pointing across from us. Em had her head buried in her travel pillow sobbing like a baby.

“I just love him SO much! Am I ever going to fucking see him again?” she cried.

Then we had a long talk about what had happened between the two of them, the words and promises that were said, and she expressed that it was more than sex but that the sex was awesome too. Then they asked me about me and Ross and our future. I told them that we had said those three words and really meant them and he had promised to make arrangements where we could see each other again soon, but I didn’t know what or when that meant.

I went to the dining car on the train and checked my phone. Ross had texted me in the past few minutes.

_I forgot to tell you to have a safe trip, my love_

_Thanks, babe. We will_

_Talk to you soon, darling_

_Sounds good, love_ , I texted back.

I love you’s were exchanged as well.

I went back to my seat, my heart full again. It would be ok. We could still communicate with each other even if we could not touch. That would come again soon enough. And I had two hands and so did he. Maybe we could …. Ok, yes, I was considering having cybersex with the man. Give me a break will ya!


	11. Now we're on the bed in my room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want you, Brynn. I don’t want to wait any longer. Are you ok with that?” he asks me into the back of my neck

After our trip to Greece, I went back home. Ross had come to Greece to surprise me and stayed a full day with me. We just laid on the beach all day and did nothing but talk, cuddle, eat wonderful food straight from the boats, and enjoy each other both during the day and at night.

Ross had reserved a hotel room, so just he and I stayed there for the night. We still kept our forays on the first three bases without going for a full home run.

When he left the next day to head to the town where they were playing that evening, I just knew that I would see him again soon. I just didn't realize how soon.

Within two weeks of being back home in the States, my boss needed me to hop the pond again and go check out a few pieces of art. I vowed I would take full advantage of my time and spent the first half of my morning in London doing business. The second half of the day and the following day were mine to do as I pleased.

I saw him get off the yellow tour bus and texted him again.

 _Turn around._ I typed and pushed send.

I saw him read my message and just stand there, still looking at his phone.

 _What? Why would I turn around?_ he sent back.

Then he took two steps, and stopped. My heart sunk briefly to my stomach thinking that my plan would not work. I wanted to surprise him with my sneaky and highly unplanned last minute trip to London. Then he turned around, still looking at his phone, and when he finally looked up, he glanced at me then started to look away and then stared hard at me.

“It cannot be!” he shouted as he started running towards me. “Brynn!!”

He grabbed me up in both of his arms and swung me around.

“God, babe, it is really you? What are you doing here?” he exclaimed as he turned me around and around. He finally stopped just when I thought I was going to fall down from being so dizzy and kissed me hard on the mouth, long and hard. I sighed and so did he. I had missed physically touching him SO much since we had to leave each other in Greece.

“My boss needed someone to check out this artwork here in London, and knowing that you guys were playing at the Royal Albert Hall again tonight, I could not pass up the opportunity. I don’t have tickets though, but I will wait for you outside afterwards and we can maybe see each other then?” I asked him.

“Maybe we can see each other then?” he said raising his right eyebrow at me. “Um, yes, we are going to see each other, every minute until you have to go back. And we will get you a ticket and backstage pass to solve that problem. I cannot believe my eyes. You are really here, aren’t you? Not a mirage or my delusions from missing your touch?”

“I’m really here and I’m so glad I could surprise you! You are not mad at me are you?” I asked him.

“I could never imagine being mad at you for surprising me like this,” he said. “Oh god, babe! I’m SO glad you are here! Oh my GOD!,” he shouted! “I love this woman!” Grabbing me up into his arms and spinning me around again.

Matty heard Ross’ boisterous exclamations and came running over. “Holy shit! How did you get here?!” he said.

“Good to see you too, Matthew,” I replied hugging his neck tightly.

“Oh dove, it is good to see you, and I know you aren’t here to see ME, so you guys enjoy and no sex in the middle of the parking lot!”

Ross punched him in the back as he trotted away laughing with his head thrown back.

Ross did as he said and secured me a ticket and a backstage pass. I didn’t really need both, but I always kept their tickets as mementos so it was a nice treat. We sat on their tour bus and held hands constantly. He stared at me and kissed me lavishing his love all over my face. He was shocked and surprised and fawning all over me and me all over him. We had missed each other terribly. I was invited to go to dinner with Ross and the boys with Matty’s parents. It was Matty’s little brother Louis’ 14th birthday (my little sister would LOVE him!) and they had a reservation at this posh restaurant near the Royal Albert Hall. Ross had excused himself about 20 minutes before we left for the dinner celebration, which was a little early due to the concert later. Matty’s entire family would be there – his mum and her new husband, his little brother, his dad and his grandfather. While Ross was away, doing who knows what, Matty, George, Adam and I caught up. George of course wanted to know how Em was handling the separation. Em was in nursing school and could not get away as easily as I could, but my surprise trip was work related anyways. They still kept in touch through all available means and Em gushed about George at every possible second. Adam and Lucy were still a hot item, no surprise there, and Matty said that his life was status quo, which meant that Gemma still said “not right now”. He had his fair share of women, and guys too if I knew Matty at all. When Ross came back into the room, he had a huge smile on his face. He told the guys that they would have to excuse us for a few minutes but that we would meet them at the restaurant. He took me by my hand and led me out of the bus and down the street. We turned the corner and walked only a small bit when he stopped and pushed me against the wall and kissed me. I loved it when he did that. Not only to have him kissing me, and kissing me hard, but the feeling of his body pressing against mine and knowing that he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

“I just booked a room at The Gore for us tonight. I hope that is ok?” he said to me.

“The Gore, as in one of the poshest hotels in London?” I asked him back.

“Yep, this one right here, and he pointed at sign that hung above us.”

THE GORE the sign read.

“Um, yeah, that’s very ok,” I said to him. “I figured we would just cuddle on the bus or in the room you guys share, but this is wonderful, babe.”

“Matty will be staying with his mum tonight but George is staying at his and Matty’s place that I told you about and so is Adam will be with Lucy at her place or his. I don’t want to stay with them tonight, so this is for us, just us. No worrying about someone being there when we are enjoying each other’s company. Let’s send the porter for your things and then we can get over to the restaurant for Louis’ birthday. Oh! I got him the coolest gift. He has always wanted an N64, but Denise would never get him one. I ordered him one off the internet with the adapters so he can play it over here in England; you know with your screwy American electricity, that stuff doesn’t work over here so well without adapters. I’m going to put your name on the tag too, if you don’t mind”. Which of course I didn’t mind. He was so proud of himself and the gift he had for Matty’s brother. I was looking forward to meeting them all.

The dinner was spectacular. Everything was delicious and ominously expensive. Matty’s dad and mum fought over the check, but Matty had already secretly arranged to pay for everything. Matty’s mum, who insisted that I call her Denise, was one of the sweetest ladies I had ever met. She told me that she had heard so much about me that she thought for sure that Matty and I were dating until Ross started talking about me and then she knew that Matty never had a chance. She said she had known Ross since he was in diapers (well, not really that long, but it felt like it Ross chimed in) and had never seen him so smitten over someone. She said she was happy for us and hoped we always kept the spark like we seemed to have now. Matty’s grandfather was a hoot, telling jokes, sometimes dirty old man jokes, but many of his stories were about Matty and his doings when he was a young teen. We all laughed and had a really grand time. Then when the grandfather reminisced about his wife that has passed a few years back, Annie, you know the one that Matty has that tattoo over his heart, everyone got quiet and Matty got tears in his eyes. He is very close with his family and to see him miss his grandmother like that was sobering. Louis LOVED his gift from Ross, and Ross insisted it was from both of us. Louis jumped out of his chair, hugged me hard and gave Ross a high five so hard that Ross said his hand stung a bit.

Time came to head to the venue and Matty’s whole family would be there for the show. The show was great, as usual, and the Royal Albert Hall is spectacular. It is beautiful and old, just what I like in a building. Ross had me stand on the side of the stage again, as he had when they played after we first declared our like for each other. Matty sang the song he had written for his brother “Someone to Watch You” and he cried and there was nary a dry eye in the place. Ross held me from behind and we watched him sing his heart out to his brother. It was the first time that Matty had played it for Louis in a concert venue, and of all places, Royal Albert Hall!! Wow!

After the show, Denise and her husband, Matty’s dad Tim (who was kind of distant but nice) and Matty’s grandfather and brother all said their goodbyes and hope to see you again soon. Matty left with them after giving me a huge hug and kiss, and Adam and George headed off to their respective places. Ross and I gathered our small bits of belongings and headed towards the backdoor stage. And there was Lou!

“Lou! Oh my gosh! So good to see you!” I exclaimed to him. He immediately recognized me and gave me a huge hug.

“You two love birds still at it, huh?” he said. “I’m glad to see that. I think you belong together and I hope you have a long healthy life in each other’s arms.”

“That is so sweet, Lou!” I told him. We said our goodbye’s to the security guard and made our way around the park towards the street our hotel stood on.

Ross grabbed me in his arms again right on the corner where we would turn to the hotel and pulled me tight into him. “I have missed this so much, being able to touch you,” he said.

I pulled him back tightly and put both of my hands square on his ass and pull him in tighter. I could feel his hard on as it started to rise in his pants. His hands were all over me, my back and buttocks, around to my front squeezing my breasts through my clothes all while we kissed, our tongues pirouetting in each other’s mouths.

It escalated quickly this time, quicker than ever before and I wanted him right then and there. “How far is the hotel?” I ask him breathlessly.

“Less than a block,” he breathes back to me in between nibbling on my neck.

“Can we make it?” I wonder out loud.

“Let’s try, because I want to make love to you right now, but I don’t want to do it in a jail cell through iron bars.”

I snort with laughter. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound romantic at all for our first time. Maybe the third?”

“Third?” he asks. “Are we skipping our second time?”

“Nope, the second time has already been reserved, remember? Green room at the venue in Paris. Couch and floor in one go.”

“Ah, yes, I do vaguely remember something about that,” Ross says teasing me.

I realize we are in a hotel lobby and standing in front of a bank of elevators. The elevator man (wow, posh hotel!) asks Ross which floor to which Ross produces a key and a key card. “Ah, penthouse suite it is, sir! Honeymoon by any chance?” the elevator attendant asks inquisitively.

“Not yet,” Ross responds, looking at me full in the face, his hand up under the back of my shirt playing with my back. I smile at him and he smiles again with his boyish charm.

The elevator doors open into a gigantic room with an entire wall of glass windows from floor to ceiling spanning one side of the room to the other.

“Wow!” we both exclaim. Ross gives the attendant a tip and then he is gone. Not Ross, the attendant is gone.

“This is beautiful,” I say to him as I walk towards the windows. “You can see SO far!” Then he is behind me, with his front pressed against my back and his hands moving around front seeking the inside of my shirt again.

“I want you, Brynn. I don’t want to wait any longer. Are you ok with that?” he asks me into the back of my neck. I put my hands over his and push them up under my shirt. Leaning my head back against his shoulder, closing my eyes and feeling him touch me, I tell him that I want nothing else at this moment than for him to touch me anywhere and everywhere he would like.

 


	12. And I'm About To Fill His Shoes

“I want you, Brynn. I don’t want to wait any longer. Are you ok with that?” he asks into the nape of my neck. I put my hands over his and guide them up under my shirt, leaning my head back against his shoulder, closing my eyes and feeling him touch me.

“I want nothing else in this very moment but for you to touch me anywhere and everywhere you would like,” I say to Ross.

His left hand slides underneath my lacey bra and cups my breast, it filling his hand perfectly. Moaning softly, he places kisses along my collarbone, up the side of my neck, and around to my ear pushing my hair back with his jaw. I feel his right hand slide down my firm abdomen, over my pants and he clutches my crotch pulling me tighter into him. I can feel his rock hard virility against my back and a moan escapes from my lips. My hands are wandering to wherever they can find a piece of him, through his hair, against his legs, and over his hands which are caressing my mound through my jeans and my breasts under my shirt.

“Kiss me,” I request as I turn around and face him.

Ross lowers his head, his dark hair falling forward and brushes his lips across mine. His dark eyes stare into mine and he smiles slyly. Then brings his head down again and positions his slightly open lips against mine and teases my bottom lip with his tongue. His arms around me, he pulls me in tight against him and again I feel the bulge in his jeans. My tongue dances with his and again, that melting feeling washes over me, not just me melting, but him melting into me. His hands sneak under the back of my shirt and he fumbles with the clasp of my undergarment. Quickly successful, my breasts are released underneath my shirt. I lower the straps down my arms and fling the piece of black lace across the back of the couch behind Ross. Again, one of his big hands is beneath my shirt and caressing my breasts, one at a time giving them equal attention.

“You feel wonderful,” he exclaims. “I want to see all of you and kiss you if you will let me?”

Knowing full well what he meant, I raise my hands above my head and he slips my shirt up and over my arms and head.

“Blood hell, you are so beautiful Brynn,” he says to me looking down at my exposed upper torso.

My pinkish peaks are hard and responsive because of his attention and the light brown areola are dimply from the coolness of the room and from his recent touch. He takes hold of them with both of his hands and I lean slightly forward into his grasp, closing my eyes from the pleasure. His hands are warm and calloused in just the right places and he knows how to put them to good use. Nuzzling my neck again, he places tender kisses in a trail from my chin to my left breast. Trailing his tongue from between my globes, he finds one of the peaks and traces a circle around it with his tongue. The nipple responds quickly to his gentle licks and flicks of his tongue.

He then takes the other pink peak into his mouth licking and flicking the tip with his tongue, which sends shivers and sparks down my belly into my nether region. Looking up at me and smiling, he buries his face back into the other pale globe and takes the entire peak into his mouth and sucks gently.

“Oh,” I purr.

Caressing the orb that is not covered with his mouth, he moves between the two, holding and kneading one while his mouth fully engulfs the other point and lavishes attention upon it with his tongue, swirling and flipping with the tip. I had never felt such pleasure just from my breasts being touched and sucked. _This man is a god_ , I thought to myself.

“Come here,” he says to me standing up again causing my breasts to ache for their lost attention. Pulling me into his chest, he rubs my bare back with his hands and nuzzles my neck. My hands make their way down his back and clench his buttocks, drawing him snugger into me so I can feel his hard on, and oh he is hard.

“Mmmmmm” I express.

My hands wander around his back and his buttocks, pulling on the edges of his black t-shirt dipping my hands underneath and run my fingertips up his back. Immediately I feel goose bumps rise over his flesh and he pulls in his breath slightly. _Another erogenous zone?_ As we bestow attention on each other’s necks and ears with our tongues and lips, we explore with our hands. I trace my fingertips up his spine and around front and feel his nipples and the slight bit of hair leading down into his jeans. Running my hands in a full circle to his back again, I deposit my fingertips inside the top of his jeans, pushing them down as far as they can go.

“I want those off,” I say to him. “I want to caress your bare skin”.

“If you insist,” he responds teasingly, smiles at me and pulls slightly away from me.

Taking advantage of the slight space between us, I pull at the hem of his t-shirt and peel it over his head then make quick order of working on his belt buckle. I have it mostly undone before he is burying his head in my breasts again. I stop my work on removing the rest of his clothes and relish in the joy of his tongue work on my milky flesh spheres. My fingers weave into his hair and hug his head with one hand, I feel for something to hold onto with the other. Finding the cold, hard glass behind me, I press my palm up against it and steady myself.

“Oh my god, Ross,” I say to him as he continues his magic tongue work on my ample summits. “You are going to have to hold me tight if you keep that up or I’m going to fall flat on my arse”.

Begrudgingly, he stands back upright, takes my hand and pulls me towards the other room of the suite. Inside is a beautiful, dark wooden four poster bed. The columns of the bed were so thick, I was sure I could not get my fingers around them and maybe not even encircle my arms completely around them. The room was a golden yellow and the bedcovers matched with dark green accents in the lamps and pictures and little spots of burgundy. It was luxurious and the bed was inviting.

“Will this do, my queen?” he asks me motioning towards the bed, his arm drawing a big half circle in the air.

I chuckle and nod, and push my body against him in the doorway and look up into his dark chocolate eyes. He gazed dreamily back down at me and the feeling of his bare chest on my bare breasts was a spectacular sensation. His skin was so warm and the little bits of dark fuzz on his toned chest tickled slightly. I could have just held him like that for hours had he not started unbuckling my pants with one hand, kneading my rear with the other hand and nibbling gently on my neck. I threw my head back exposing more of my neck for him to ravage, my long dark hair spilling behind me. Planting kisses from my neck up to my lips, he put his lips full on mine again once my pants were unbuttoned and unzipped. His tongue darted in and around my mouth, caressing my tongue with his and I lost it. I lost all composure, it was totally gone out of the window. I had desired him earlier, but now my arousal was such that I needed him NOW and there would be no more waiting.

I frantically pulled at his belt buckle again and freed it from the first two loops and then set to work on his top button and zipper. As I unzipped his jeans, I let my hand glide gently over the bulge in his knickers as I slid the metal downwards. He pushed his pants down to his ankles, kicking them and shoes off of his feet, all while he pushed my pants down revealing my black lace underwear. With my cream colored complexion underneath the black lace, the shock of black hair was obvious. Suddenly, I was a little self-conscious of my hair.

“I don’t shave down there. I hope that is ok with you,” I say timidly while he stares at my mostly naked body displayed in front of him.

“Oh baby, I’m glad you don’t. I want to see you as you are, not you trying to do something to please someone else or even me. I like you just the way you because damn, you are FIT!”

Grabbing my small hips in his hands, he brings me closer to his groin and rubs it against my lace clad crotch. My arms fasten around his neck and he leans to kiss me and turns us around to where my back is pointing towards the bed. Once again, he engulfs me in that wonderful full open mouth tongues doing a dance kiss and walks me backwards until he can feel the edge of the bed. He gently eases me down onto the double bed laying me diagonally on top of the 1000 thread count sheets. They had already been turned down by the maids before we arrived.

Ross mounts the bed, climbs up and straddles me. I catch the elastic band of his black boxer briefs with my fingers and pull him down on top of me. He kisses me again and lets his hands wander over my body as I do the same on his. His skin is warm and soft in the places without hair and a little course in the places with hair. I take my fingertips on an excursion over his arms, the back of his neck and pay a lot of attention to his muscular back and buttocks. They are so firm and shapely and I realize that as I caress his cheeks, he moans and sighs. I missed touching him like this, but it had never been quite like this, so intense.

Never once do his lips leave a portion of my body for too long, as I think I might have died of starvation if they had. He delights in my neck and ears with his mouth and periodically pays attention to my breasts sucking on the nipples and caressing them gently in his hands. I, too, am smothering his skin in my fevered kisses in an attempt to show him the emotion that is coursing through my veins.

Rolling over to his side, he pulls me with him and we lie face to face on our sides. His hands continue to glide over my body and his mouth, wet and warm, leaves behind trails of his arousal. My own hands and mouth reciprocate the motions and when my hands move over the fabric of his shorts concealing his manhood, he starts and then sighs at my touch, then he continues his assault on my breasts.

My hands work their way inside his knickers, damning any fabric between us. I take the hard shaft into my hand and can feel it pulsing slightly. He gasps again, his mouth around one of my crests and then nips me slightly causing me to arch my back into him. With a sound similar to a growl, he suckles it into his mouth and again works his magic with his tongue. His hands pull me tighter to him and I start to pull at his shorts trying to remove them. Relinquishing my breast for only a moment, Ross moves to where I can remove his boxer briefs with more ease and I see his manhood spring free and stand at attention. I had felt him through our previous foreplay and dry sex, but seeing how well-endowed he was just confirmed my imagination on its true size. He would easily fill me. I could not close my hand completely around the girth of his shaft and he was easily 9 inches long and circumcised I noted. I sighed as I gently fondled the shaft and began to gently slide my hand up and down feeling the slick skin in my palm. He inhaled sharply when I reached the tip and his hands worked their way inside of my underwear. He sought out the flesh that lies buried in the hair below.

I slid my own underwear off quickly to give him better access, again, fabric be damned. Reaching down and grasping his rod again, stroking up and over the head, my finger swirling the little pearl of liquid around the tip.

“Oh!” he said sucking in the air.

My hand explored his thickness and the slick and smooth skin at the tip and the length of the shaft. He was so stiff but it was still malleable when I squeezed it. I lost myself in the feeling of his man flesh in my hand, his mouth on my skin and fingers exploring my nether region. I feel his fingers searching my mound for that little ball of flesh and the wet warmth that lies beneath. He quickly finds both, dipping one finger, then two fingers inside of me and then rubbing the fleshy nub with his wet soaked fingers.

“Oh god, you are so wet,” he gasps, looking me in the eyes. My eyes are partially closed from the pleasure of his touch, but also relishing in the feel of his body in my hands.

“I want you, right now,” he says to me. “I want to be inside of you”.

“Yes, please,” I say breathily to him.

“Oh damn, a condom, hold on,” he says.

“I’m on the pill and only ovulate once every three months, love,” I explain to him, pulling him back towards me and his hands seek out my pink slit again. “You don’t have to use one if you don’t want.”

“I always have used one with everyone else. I would love to actually feel you, the real you without some latex shit in between me and your dripping wet opening”, he sighs into my ear as he slips his fingers in and out of me sending me nearly to the brink of an orgasm that fast. He brings his fingers to his lips and sucks my juices off then kisses me letting me experience my own spicy taste.

“I can’t wait any longer, Ross. Take me, right now” I plead to him.

He rises on top of me again, spreading my legs with his knees. I bend my legs up and outward to give his strong body as much room as it needs. His shoulders are broad and his waist is slightly smaller, but the feeling of him between my legs, wow. I feel his weight on me and then the head of his manhood teasing my drenched opening. He lets the tip slide up and down my slit, dipping only slightly into the wet entryway then back out and up to the bean teasing me with it. Unable to stand it any longer, I reach down and grab the shaft again, arch my back slightly and help guide him in. He pushes in a little then slides back out. My fingers are clutching at the small of his back trying to coax him back in. Then he pushed in a little further testing to see how the walls of my moist tunnel will expand for him. I am so wet that I can feel it dripping down my thighs.

Raising my hips off the bed slightly to let him know to keep going, he pushes into me all the way to the hilt, slowly filling me completely. My body quivers on the brink of ecstasy as he pulls back out and pushes in again fast his pelvis pushing against mine.

“Oh yes!” I gasp. He quickened the pace slightly, slamming his hips into mine, pushing his rod as deep as it would go. The velvety walls of my tunnel spasm and tighten around him.

“Already, baby?” he asks me, feeling the constriction around his pole and hearing the quickening of my breathing. My fingernails dug into the small of his back making half-moon red marks.

“Yes, if … you … (he pulls out) … do … that (he thrusts back into me) … AGAIN! Oh yes!”

“Oh my, and I thought I would be the one to come fast, but here you go love!” He thrusts in and pulls out pacing himself to my moans and screams of pleasure as an orgasm rips through my body, clenching the walls of my womanhood around him. My fingernails dig slightly into his back again and I immediately apologize through my sighs and gasps for air. He laughs and says he liked it. Then he starts picking up the pace as my orgasm abates only to find that I am about on the edge again and WHAM! Another orgasm rocks my body and he is wide eyed looking down at me planting kisses on my face as I come again, then again, and again, then for the fifth time in rapid succession.

“Are you multiorgasmic, babe?” he looks at me with a grin, one that I have never seen on his face before. A shit eating grin some might call it.  

“That has never happened to me before,” I tell him, panting trying to catch my breath. “You are hitting all the right spots and you fill me completely,” holding onto his hips and lifting my own up towards him to continue the motion. “It feels so good, I never want you to stop,” I say kissing his neck and finding his ear lobe to suck on.

“Blood hell!” he says slamming his cock back into me. “You have multiple orgasms with me and no one else. YES! I hit the fucking jackpot!”

“I swear to god I think you are growing bigger inside me,” I express to the beautiful man lying on top of me pumping his hips as fast as he can. “Oh, god, yes, don’t stop.”

“It is. It definitely is. I have never been this turned on in my life,” he says breathing heavily. “I’m surprised I haven’t come all over you yet to be honest” as he slows his pace to contemplate that for a split second.

“Don’t stop moving. Or let me get on top,” I tell Ross.

In one swift motion, he flips our bodies without breaking his free of my folds. My long brown hair is all disheveled and in my face, so he brushes it away from my eyes and out of my mouth.

“You are beautiful,” he says to me looking at me straddling his waist with his manhood enveloped inside me.

He caresses my creamy white orbs with both hands and I begin to move on top of him, rocking my hips just slightly to see just how far I can move without releasing him from my folds. I’ve already climaxed six or seven times by this point, so I’m fearful of lifting too far and expelling his from inside my tight, slick tunnel. I can’t have that. I want him inside of me until we are both spent, and maybe even not then.

I find a rhythm that suits us both, not pulling out too far and just far enough to sink my body down his pole and I feel an orgasm building again. He fluctuates between cupping and kneading my breasts to holding my hips and helping me move. Finally he resigns himself to holding me still so he can thrust up into me. I watch his face as he enjoys our copulating and smile at him after I catch his gaze when he watches me reach the point of ecstasy on top of him.

Bending over backwards just slightly, I arch my back and give him a different angle inside of me and he gasps at the new feeling of tightness and a small bump he hits as he pushed into me.

“Doesn’t that hurt?” he wants to know.

“No, it feels good actually. It makes me want to come. Again. All. Over. You”, I say as I reach my climax again. I’ve lost count, but I don’t care. He can make me have repeated orgasms and that has never happened before.

“Come here,” Ross says to me, his eyes all half mast, he crooks his finger at me in a come hither motion. I lean down over him, my face close to his and he puts his hands on either side of my face. My hair encapsulates us and it gets darker. He kisses my lips lightly.

“This is the best sex I have ever had in my life,” he says to me. “If I had known how good it would be with you, I would have waited and stayed a virgin for you.”

I snorted. “No, you wouldn’t have. And I’m glad you didn’t. I need someone experienced that can make me have orgasms over and over again like you can.” Then I nip his bottom lip with my teeth and he smiles.

“Baby, how many more do you want, because I have counted fifteen already”, he says to me. He begins to move his hips again, sliding in and out of my slick hole.

“Are you enlarging again?” I ask him feeling my insides stretch ever so slightly.

“Oh yeah, I’m getting harder by the minute. And man, I’m going to explode when I come in you.”

His eyes close again as he rocks his hips and pushes into me. Sitting back up, I stretch my arm behind me and feel his scrotum. His balls were big naturally I had noted when I first saw him, but the skin around them was tight right now and it hadn’t been like that before. My eyes get big and I look at him with an evil grin.

“Shall I see what this does for you, my love?” I ask him as I start to massage his skin covered marbles.

“Oh. Wow. Brynn. Oh. What on …. Oh yes. Oh god. Don’t stop,” he says to me as I start moving up and down on him again as if I were riding a bucking bronco. His cries of pleasure make my climax rise fast and before I know it, I am coming on him again for the sixteenth and seventeenth time. I caress his spheres with one hand and hold myself upright with the other. Ross tugs at the sheets with one of his hands, balling them in his fist. His other hand massages my breast.

“Holy shit, fuck me Batman”, Ross says. I burst out into laughter and repeat what he just said.

“Fuck me Batman? Am I Batman now?” I ask him.

“If you want me to call you Batman and it will get you to do that again, yes, I will call you Batman.”

“Mmmmmm”, I say, lifting myself up and off of him, letting his manhood fall free, he protests greatly and I put one finger over his lips. “Shhh,”I say, “I actually think I want to see what you will call me when I do this,” as I climb down between his legs and take his full thickness from top to hilt into my mouth in one fell swoop.

“AhhhhhHHHHhhhhhhh” he moans grasping my head and twisting some of my hair in his fingers.

“Bloody hell! Oh my god, is there anything UGH! you don’t MMMMMM do well OH my GOD!” he says to me as I suck him into my mouth and pull back out with one hand on the base of his shaft and run my tongue around the head as I reach the top.

“Mmmm, you taste so good!” I say to him swallowing him back into my mouth. I love the feel of his manhood. It is hard but just slightly flexible at the same time. I feel it throb as I bob up and down on him and listen to his moans and cries of pleasure. I look up and see his head is thrown back into the bed and the look of sheer pleasure almost makes me orgasm again just from the sight. I suck him fully a few more times and then lick underneath the shaft from hilt to tip then suck his balls into my mouth one by one moving them around with my tongue. His breath starts and then blows out and I think he is nearing his own climax. I move away and straddle him again and bring my face up to his face and kiss his lips. He barely moves but to pucker back to my lips with his own.

“Was that good, babe?” I ask him.

“Um, yeah, that was the best I’ve ever had and I didn’t even come. I didn’t want to come yet. I want you to come with me, at the same time, while I look into your beautiful face and your deep eyes as I make you reach that mountain top again just before you fall over into the cavern of pleasure.”

Lifting his head off the bed to kiss me again, he moves out from underneath me. Guiding me to where I am reclining with my head on the pillows at the top of the bed and he mounts me again, sliding inside my tight walls and I climax immediately.

“Oh my god,” I gasp. “Don’t stop,” I beg him. He thrusts his hips back and forth moving in and out of me in a glorious rhythm that has me coming over and over again. I feel his breath start to catch again and look up at him. He bends down and kisses my mouth, tongue darting in my mouth and mine in his.

“I’m going to come,” he says to me softly.

“Oh yes, my love, so am I,” I tell him.

Our climax, my twenty fifth by his count and his first, was reached at the exact same precise moment and we watched the other through the entire thing. I could not help but grab his ass cheeks and squeeze them as I came with him, the hardest and longest one of the night. The most glorious of them all because I could feel him squirting his seed inside of me as he shuddered. The walls of my velvety tunnel pulsed around him coaxing more and more ejaculate from his body.

He collapsed on top of me and I felt him still pulsing inside of me. His hands and arms were splayed out beside him and I knew he was fully spent. I felt marvelous, like I was flying. I was seriously dizzy and high from the euphoria of this man making me climax so many times and then reaching the height of our passion together. It was the best buzz I had ever felt, and I told him just that.

He hugged me tight, kissed my lips, and my face, my eyes, my nose, my neck and my breasts, exclaiming his intense pleasure that our lovemaking was the best he had ever experienced and wanted to always be with me and only me. He said all the words that a man in love would say to the love of his life. I was ok with that. I felt the same as he and told him just so.

We crawled under the covers of that luxurious bed and cuddled into one another, arms and legs intertwined, faces as close together as possible. He sighed heavily, often, and so did I. We were happy, and spent, and content and ….. and definitely in that L word.

 


	13. All We Seem To Do Is Talk About Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pillow talk was definitely different with Ross, but I loved how candid we could be with each other. I kissed him then; a long and loving lips only kiss and told him I loved him.

“Have you ever had anal sex, babe,” he asked me.

“Nope, and I’m not sure I ever would,” I express to him. “Have you?” regretting asking him as soon as it was out of my mouth.

“Yeah, but I don’t really even remember it other than the screaming and I’m pretty sure it was me screaming,” he said with a laugh.

“Because it hurt or what?” I asked inquisitively.

“No, it didn’t hurt, I just wasn’t a happy person at that point in my life and I thought that fucking someone would make me feel better, but it didn’t. I would scream through it, pretty sure scaring the chick, but I didn’t care.”

“Have you been with a lot of women?” I ask, again regretting it as soon as I said it.

“Yeah, I guess so, but I always wore a condom and I had myself checked before you and I ever did anything together.”

“You did?”

“Yep, I wasn’t taking any chances in fucking up anything with the two of us. I got checked the day we got back to London after we were in Germany.”

“Oh babe, that makes me so proud of you and so much more in love with you.”

“I was already in love with you," he continued, "and falling even more every day and I knew that if I fucked anything up, I would never be a happy person again. I also wiped the contacts in my phone and never answered or replied to any numbers I didn’t recognize. I didn’t give my number out to many people anyways, but I only wanted to talk to and about you.”

Pillow talk was definitely different with Ross, but I loved how candid we could be with each other. I kissed him then; a long and loving lips only kiss and told him I loved him.

“Back to this anal sex question. Why did you ask?”

“I was just curious. I didn’t want to try something you hated or not do something you loved. So the answer is don’t like, not sure you would like, so then we won’t try it unless you ask. What is your favorite position?” he asked me then.

“Every position that we have tried so far,” I said smiling in the dark at him.

“We have only had sex once, or was that twice? Does that count as twice? I mean, you DID have 25 orgasms the first time, so does that make more? Does each position count for a different time? I am way over analyzing this aren’t I?”

I giggled at him, kissed his face and snuggled back into his neck. “I do want to try doggy style with you, and maybe sitting in a chair with me on top of you. And how about every room of the house or hotel or wherever we are. On the bathroom counter, then facing the bathroom mirror so we can see each other as we come together.”

“Yeah, those all sound great. I want all that too, and you, right now, again.”

We made love again that night, and doggy style was as spectacular as I imagined. Him grabbing my hips from behind and ramming his huge cock into my pussy made me scream louder than I had screamed in my life. My orgasms were definitely stronger in that position and feeling him slamming into me and reaching around and playing with my tits or my clit while he did so pushed me right over the edge many times.

I started on all fours, in true doggy style fashion but at one point, and I realized that I needed to bite something as an intense orgasm rippled through me. I leaned the top part of my torso down to the mattress and he yowled that the new position was even better for him, tighter and he could feel me squeezing his cock every time he pushed into me. I came when he said that, because what woman wouldn’t when the man she loves is fucking her like that with not only his cock, but with his whole body and his words. At one point, I could not tell the difference between the beginning and end of my orgasms. They all ran together, as one would finish, another one would wrack my whole body and I would be screaming again for him to keep fucking me, harder! Harder! I could hear and feel his balls slapping against my pussy as he slammed into me over and over again, which only heightened my pleasure.

“Oh oh oh oH OH OH oh oh OH OH OH Oh Oh. Oh. Oh. OH! OH! OH!! OH OH OH!!” was all I could manage to say while he was fucking my brains out. He came on top of me, while we were doing it doggy style with my head buried in the pillows trying to muffle my screams. He said that my screams were what sent him over the edge into the orgasm abyss.

He also went down on me for the first time during our second love making session after he came. He gently coaxed me to roll my body over while still hovering over me and put his attentions to work at my breasts first. His hands caressed my sides and my thighs and then my muff. He kissed his way down my taut belly exclaiming how much he loved my body, dipped his tongue in my belly button and continued to make his way down. He looked up at me when his head was firmly planted between my legs with his mouth on my cunt. His tongue was warm and firm but tender and he certainly knew how to use it. I even asked him when we were cuddling afterwards where he learned how to do it so well and he said “from that movie American Pie, where the dude gets the secret book out of the library from his brother and then does the ABC’s on his girlfriend’s clit and she has an orgasm for the first time.” I had two clitoral orgasms while he was doing the ABC’s on my clit. Another record for me, and for Ross as well he said. He mouth fucked me as good as his fingers and his cock had fucked me previously. He used his lips perfectly, and his tongue at just the right pressure swirling around my clit and dipping down into my dripping cunt and back up to my fleshy nub where his beard added to the whole experience in that it wasn’t scratchy, but it definitely provided more of an experience than someone who was clean shaven. It was such a sensory overload that I didn’t know what or where to concentrate on or what he was doing and I just took the whole ride and came, twice. He continued to lap at my clit after my second orgasm and my legs twitched around his head. He liked that and fondled my clit a bit more, but I told him that it was too overwhelming and he had to stop, but only for now. When he climbed back up to lay down beside me, he nuzzled my face with his beard and asked if I could smell myself. Of course I could, and he said it was divine and he was going to bottle it so he could smell me anytime he wanted me. I laughed at him and we cuddled, snuggled into one another.

“I could do this all day, every day with you, Brynn,” he said to me, nuzzled into my hair.

“Mmmmmm” was all I could respond at the moment. I was sleepy, but satiated with sex sleepy.

“I do love you,” he told me.

I love you too, Ross MacDonald,” I told him as I kissed his cheek.

Then we slept, wrapped up in each other’s arms.


	14. And You're a Liar, At Least All of Your Friends Are

It was raining and why wouldn’t it be raining? We were in Seattle, Washington after all. After surprising Ross in London and spending three glorious days with him only rolling out of bed when we really had to, I had to head back to the States with the art piece I had been commissioned to acquire. My boss was more than pleased with my work, which included getting it at a lower cost than originally bargained. But it meant that Ross and I had to say goodbye, again.

With a continued promise to see me again soon, he kissed me long and deep before I walked through the security check point. I turned to wave to him, but he had been overtaken by a group of teenage girls seeking selfies and autographs. The 1975 was getting more and more popular, especially in Europe and the United States, so I would have to learn to expect him not to be able to focus his attention on me every moment of the day, especially when we were in public. He had looked up from the piece of paper that he was scrawling his John Hancock on, smiled at me and shrugged his shoulders. I waved and blew him a kiss. He puckered his lips back at me and he was suffocated by teens yet again.

And now, nearly a month later, I was finally back in his arms. Their tour had taken them through Eastern Europe and then over to the States again. I had tried to get to a town that they were in, any town that they were in, but things had never worked out, until the 1975 added a date in Vancouver. We had Skyped and texted and called every single day, but I missed him and I knew he missed me.

I met him and the rest of the band at the Paramount Theatre after flying into SeaTac. I had reserved a hotel room for Ross and I a few blocks away, another 5 star hotel as we had enjoyed the Gore so much that I could not resist trying to recreate the ambiance. I was falling deeper and deeper in love with this man and every stolen moment of alone time was certain to be cherished.

“Come outside with me for a minute,” he said to me.

“Outside? It’s raining, babe,” I said questioning his motives.

“I know it’s raining, but please?” he begged me.

And how could I resist those gorgeous brown eyes of his and his luscious lips which went into pouting mode. He knew how that affected me and used it to his advantage.  

We stood in the pouring rain, the water cascading over our heads and down our bodies. I had the foresight to leave my leather jacket inside and my cerulean blue tank was soaked through. Ross had pushed me up against the brick wall of the theatre and begun to ravage my neck and shoulders with his lips and tongue.   

“I dreamt of devouring your body in the pouring rain the other night, and when it started raining here, I knew I could not resist,” he said to me in breathy bursts.

“Oh, Ross,” was all I could manage to respond. His tongue danced over my shoulders, the hot of his mouth intermixed with the cool of the rain. It was not cold by any means, only slightly cooler than a cool shower so it was a very erotic mix, the hot and cold. I held onto his neck with both hands, not really pulling him into me, but holding him there, wherever he moved his head.

“I love you, Brynn,” he said to me, “and bloody hell I have missed your warm, silky skin.”

“You mean my wet skin,” I panted back.

“Yeah, I’ve missed you wet,” he said nipping my skin a bit, then he sucked, pulling the fleshy part of my shoulder hard into his mouth.

“Oh!” I responded. It felt good and definitely sensual. I knew that I would have a love bite and I didn’t care. The rain continued and I was soaked through. My hair dripped, my tank was clinging to my every curve and my nipples pushing hard through the fabric. My jeans clung to my hips and my buttocks and when he squeezed my cheeks, I could feel the warmth of his hand through the soaked fabric. His own long-sleeved black button up shirt was soaked as well and rivers of water ran out of his hair and down my arms. I had never seen it rain this hard in Seattle and I had visited quite a few times over the years for work related reasons.

“I want you,” he said to me, his hands moving from my buttocks to around my front. He unbuttoned and stealthfully unzipped my denims and slid his hand inside ignoring the fact that I had on lace undergarments and went straight for the gold. My head threw itself back as if it had a mind of its own (pun intended) and I gasped as he fondled my fleshy folds and the pod that responded so quickly to his warm and slightly calloused fingers.

“Oh god,” I whispered, the rain cascading down my face and into my mouth and nose. I was sure that my makeup was a runny mess but could not have given the slightest care in the world.

My hands found the bulge in his jeans and I massaged it through the wet fabric with the palm of my hand as he rubbed circles around my fleshy nub and down my pink slit into the already soaked entrance. He moaned into my mouth as I caressed him, his tongue playing with mine and his hand deep into my pants.

“Come for me, baby,” he whispered in my ear then moved his mouth down to the top of my breasts. He pushed my tank away exposing one of my milky globes to the rain and his hot mouth. He quickly engulfed a pink peak into his mouth and pulled hard on my nipple.

“No problem,” I said panting hard in his own ear clutching at his head trying to hold myself upright. I felt the walls of my tunnel spasm and I fell over the chasm of ecstasy, the rain still a steady stream over our bodies.

“Bloody hell, I love to watch you come,” he said to me standing upright and kissing me full on the lips again.

“Your turn,” I said to him as I made quick work of the button and zipper on his jeans and slid them over his hips freeing his manhood. It stood at attention for me, so I knelt down between him and the wall and firmly grasped it with my right hand. Ross steadied himself on the brick with both arms outstretched and slightly bent at the elbows. The rain slowed a bit, but Ross was still soaked to the core and his head and body showered down a steady stream of water on me as I brought my lips around the tip of his rod. I suckled the tip with my lips, ran my tongue up and down and around, and fondled the shaft. Ross moaned and groaned, his hips writhing from the excitement.

“Your mouth is so hot,” he muttered, “blood hell, this won’t take long,” and he sucked hard at the air and threw his head forward bracing his forehead against the wall. He looked down at me, my head bobbing up and down on him, one hand stroking the shaft of his manhood and the other holding on firmly to the back of his thigh so I could thrust him deep into my throat.

“Uggppfff,” he uttered as he came, shooting his hot seed deep down my gullet and I swallowed it willingly. His legs shuttered and shook and I held on tight to him continuing my movements to milk every bit of his essence.

I stood upright and put my body in-between his arms and held him tight. His breath was heavy, his chest heaving in and out. When he finally regained his composure, he wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on the top of my head.

“I have missed you so,” he whispered to me. The rain had died down to a fine mist and the heat of our satisfied bodies enough to keep us warm.

“I’ve missed you too, my love,” I said back to him. When I began to shiver slightly, Ross suggested we go back inside and find some towels and a change of clothes. I had brought a new outfit for the concert tonight, something that spoke ‘rock star’s girlfriend’ and Ross had plenty of clothes on the tour bus.

He stooped down and pulled his drenched pants back up and I refastened mine. I felt my own bud react to the friction of my jeans. I wanted more of him right here, but he had things to do before the concert and I had, well, I had to wait. I would ravage him later and I was sure that he wanted the same. He pulled me in tight to him again, wrapping his arms around my trim waist and nuzzled my neck.

“If I had time, I would take you right against this wall,” he said to me.

“Yes, please,” I responded into his shoulder, my hands stroking up and down his damp back.

“Dammnit all to hell,” he said pulling away slightly and rubbing his hands through his wet hair. “I promise, sometime very soon, there will be time for just us, Brynn, nothing else to get in the way or stop us from doing what we want, when we want it.”

“I would like that, very much,” I said to him.

He leaned back down, placed his warm lips over mine, his hair dripping water into my eyes again. I closed them and relished in the feel of his body against mine that bulge back in his jeans and the warmth of his lips against mine.


	15. Undo

One week later, I had to go to Mexico, another art piece to try to commission. I flew from New York to San Antonio, Texas and rented a car to drive into Mexico. I did not trust the airlines to get the artwork back in one piece, so driving into Mexico was my only option. All went well with the journey across the border into Mexico. I spoke fluent Spanish so conducting business there was no trouble whatsoever. I made my way down to Monterrey and quickly found the residence of the man I was to meet.

I was greeted at the gated drive and escorted to the large setback home. Senior Guillermo Lopez greeted me in the drive and invited me into his home. He was a middle aged Mexican man and I am sure that he was attractive to women his age. He wore black trousers, a burgundy button up shirt and a black bolo with turquoise set into the silver clasp. His black alligator shoes and the cowboy hat with the black alligator band certainly made his outfit, um, interesting.

Senior Lopez offered me a drink and when I graciously declined, he insisted. I finally accepted a glass of the champagne that he was trying to force on me, but I just held it in my hand and took small sips, but never really brought any of the liquid into my mouth.

He hit on me, brushing his hand up against my butt cheeks as I walked in front of the piece of art that hung in one of his homes large rooms. He would talk so softly that I had to lean into hear what he was saying and he would run his hands over my hand, pulling my hair through his fingers and bringing it to his nose inhaling my scent. I pulled away and stepped back running into one of the busts that stood in the corner. He took two quick steps towards me and attempted to kiss me and I rejected him. This dance went on for nearly an hour as I negotiated the price of the piece. I continued to tell him no and to reiterate the fact that I had a boyfriend and was very happy in my relationship. The whole time, I felt completely safe from his advance, but could not explain why other than the fact that Senior Lopez home teamed with his staff. There was always at least one person present in each room we were in or even two more. When I felt that negotiations had stalled, I excused myself, went to the restroom and texted Ross. I told him that I was trying to finish up the business as quickly as possible, but the man was making advances towards me. Ross wanted to throttle him. I reassured my lover that I would not allow this man to do anything in that manner, but I did feel that I was done with my work. I had one last offer for the Mexican man, and if he did not bite, I was done.

Surprisingly enough, he bit. I got lower than his asking price with the promise from our gallery to look at more of his pieces at future dates yet to be determined. His advances towards me had abruptly ended as well. I was more than relieved and quickly made the transaction and said my thanks and goodbyes.

The drive from Monterrey back to the border was slightly over an hour and I was shocked to find the line of cars to get back across the border into the States ridiculously long. I waited easily an hour and a half. The border patrol police were searching more cars that what I thought was normal, but maybe they were looking for something specific. I continuously texted Ross, as he wanted to know all the gory details on what _Senior_ Lopez had attempted and what he had groped of mine. Ross was being overly protectively, but he said he had a bad feeling about the whole thing aside from me almost getting felt up by an old guy. I reminded him that my client was my parent’s age, but he was still upset and I didn’t mind the expressions of love.

When the police got to my car with their huge German Shepherds, I was asked to step out of my vehicle. They ransacked it for lack of a better word. I pleaded with them to be careful with the painting as it was extremely valuable. I had it wrapped in brown paper and tied with twine and they insisted that it had to be unwrapped and thoroughly examined. Much to my chagrin, they took it inside one of the buildings for further inspection. I was asked to accompany them inside as well and ushered into a small room with only a table and two chairs, one on either side of the table.

I sat in that room, alone, for over an hour. I had no cell phone reception whatsoever, so I could do nothing but play Candy Crush on my phone. I hated that game, but it helped me pass the time. Suddenly, the door to the small room was thrown open and four police entered the room. Two were American, the other two were Mexican. I was interrogated, yelled at and shouted to about the art piece I was attempting to bring over the border. I had all of the necessary paperwork proving it was legally obtained, the amount of money that had been spent on it, and what its purpose was.

However, I was asked to tell them more about the substance of the painting itself. What was it made out of? What form of paint had been used? What layering technique and many other questions only an artist or an art procurer would know. They were never satisfied with my answers and only grew angrier and angrier with my answers. The United States border patrol turned me over solely to the Mexican police, they took me from the holding room at the border cross back further into Mexico to a small building made from adobe. If it had been different circumstance, I am sure that I would have taken in the sight of the plateaus and the cactus turning orange from the descent of the sun.

Twelve hours had passed and I was dehydrated. I was also frantic to talk to Ross, my boss, my mother, anyone other than the border patrol from either country. I had been threatened with jail time, prison time, a strip search, even the cartel. I was baffled by what was going on and I could only answer a minimal amount of their questions. When I could no longer answer them, they got more aggressive. I cried and I begged for them to let me go. They screamed at me, slapped me across the face multiple times. The female Mexican police was the worst of them all. She struck me with such force that I fell from the chair. I felt my eye begin to swell from the repeated impacts. I defiantly pulled myself back upright from the floor and sat back in the chair. I stared into that bitch’s eyes trying to gouge them out with just my look. But through it all, I continued to tell the truth that I did not know what they were looking for or why the painting was so important. It wasn’t important to me. My life and my freedom were more important.

They held me overnight in a damp and dark cell. Someone threw a bottle of water at me and a sandwich wrapped in cellophane. I ate it like I had not eaten anything in months and drank half of the bottle of water down in one gulp. I urinated in the bucket in the corner of the cell and laid down on the straw on the floor and cried myself to sleep calling out for Ross. I had been accused of trying to smuggle drugs over the border. Drugs that had been concealed in the lining of the painting. I continued to give them the name of the man that I had purchased the painting from and they had laughed at me. Apparently Senior Lopez was a respected man in Monterrey and anyone who ever accused him if misdeeds did not live very long.

I feared for my life. I feared for what Ross would do when he could no longer reach me. It had been over 24 hours since I had had contact with anyone. I woke to a splash of cold water. Someone had thrown a bucket of ice cold water over me and was standing over me laughing. They were speaking very fast in Spanish and I was fortunate enough to pick up the meaning. They wanted me to stand up and walk with them, so I complied. My eye was completely swollen shut and I was dizzy, probably from the repeated strikes to my head only a few hours ago and possibly from slight dehydration.

“This is the trip from hell,” I said softly, more to myself than to anyone else. I was immediately struck in the back.

“No talking!” was shouted at me from behind. I raised my hand in understand and apology. I was led back to the same room they had me in yesterday, only today, there were handcuffs attached to the chair and I was strapped to them. Then the woman that led me in there left the room and slammed the door shut behind her. I was so distraught at being shackled to the chair that I could not hold myself still. I wanted to get out of them so badly I twisted my wrists around and around but the cuffs only got tighter as I did that. I felt warm liquid sliding down my fingers and realized it was my own blood. I began to cry again.

A few moments later, a man walked in. He was obviously police as well, but the cords and badges on his uniform were different, and I surmised he was of a higher rank than those that had talked to me the previous day.

“You have been accused of trying to smuggle a large amount of heroine over the border, young lady,” he said to me in very broken English.”

“I don’t know anything about any drugs,” I responded.

“We found it all throughout your car, hidden in the tire wells, under the seats, in the trunk just sitting there like it was nothing. And then this painting, you are being accused of stealing that, did you know. Senior Lopez reported that painting stolen yesterday afternoon around 1 pm.”

“THAT BASTARD!” I shouted. The man lurched forward at me and lifted his hand. I shrank and turned my head away from him. I was sure that his hit would be much harder than the bitch’s from the day before.

“Do not use that language with me, seniorita,” he said to me. He voice was calm and he stared at me with piercing black eyes. His tan face was wrinkled from many years in the sun and his brown cowboy hat was a bit dusty. I wanted to knock it off of his cocky head and run, but I knew that would never happen.

“If you confess, we will let you go and ban you from our country forever more.”

“I will not confess because I did not do anything. Senior Lopez made advances towards me yesterday which I heartily rejected. I am sure this is in retaliation to my rejections. Please, you have to believe me.”

“Senorita, Senior Lopez is one of the most respected businessmen in Monterrey. He is highly regarded and has a very high profile. Many young women just like you come through here claiming the same all while trying to smuggle drugs back. If you want to make some quick money, you would be better off selling your body,” he said to me. “You are nicely shaped and your breasts are perky,” he said reaching across the table and cupping my left breast in his hand. I struggled to pull away, but since I was shackled to the chair and the chain was bolted to the ground, I could not move but only from side to side.

I began to cry again, sobbing with my head down and tears streaming like a river from my eyes. I was going to be stuck here forever. I was going to be raped and made into a sex slave or live the rest of my days out in a cell like the one last night and raped repeatedly by the police. The man continued to fondle my breasts and leaned across the table trying to catch my lips with his. When I continued to resist, he walked around to my side of the table and bent down next to me. He held my head with one of his hands trying to kiss my face and ran his other hand up my leg and under my skirt. I clenched my legs as tightly together as I could manage and tried to squirm away from him. I could feel his fingers trying to inch their way in between my tightly clasped legs and the skin began to burn from the force of his fingers. When he could get no further, he moved his attention back to my breasts. He ripped my shirt open and pulled my bra down exposing my breasts. He squeezed them hard in his hands and yelped from the pain.

“You know you want it,” he hissed between his teeth, accent very heavy. “You can sell your body at night for me and be mine all day. I will love you and you will learn to love me.”

“NEVER!” I screamed.

“I like a seniorita with some fight, and my customers will like you, too. You will do this, or you will die,” he growled at me.

“Then I will die!” I shouted.

The door burst open and an American police officer strode through the door. He was accompanied by the two American border patrol agents from yesterday and they stared at the sight before them. The older policía still had my breast grasped in his hand and I was sobbing harder. The American police kicked the Mexican official off of the table with his boot and the man fell hard to the ground. He bounced on the hard ground but quickly regained his senses and lurched his body towards the man that had just kicked him. Their bodies clashed hard together and they both groaned at the hard hit, the American drove his fist into the Mexican official anywhere he could land.

I was quickly unshackled by the American female border patrol agent and brought behind her as the two older males began a hearty fist fight. Spatters of blood flew through the room as they broke each other’s noses, split lips and further opened cuts under each other’s eyes with repeated blows. Finally, the Mexican official bent over and the American man landed punch after punch in his sides and the Mexican man fell to the hard ground again. I was led out of the room and placed in a black van. The van took me back to the border and I was led to my car and placed inside. My cell phone was on my passenger seat and I quickly grabbed it up and tried to dial Ross. The battery was dead. An American border patrol agent told me to follow the car in front of me and I was led across the border and into the United States. He pulled over to the side of the road and I followed. He got out of his car and walked back to mine, and I rolled my window down slightly.

“I wanted to get you across the border as fast as possible. Now that you are safe, I will tell you. We put your car back together as best we could, but I am sure you are missing things. We could not find your purse, but here is your driver’s license and your passport,” he said to me handing me the two items through my cracked window. “The artwork was torn to shreds by the Mexican officials. Do you know what happened?” he asked me.

“No,” I said back to him, shaking my head. I realized then my entire body was shaking.

“You were set up, framed. We pulled the surveillance of your arrival to the Mexico border from earlier in the day yesterday and compared the times of that arrival to the call that alerted us to your attempt to bring drugs across. The times did not match up as it would have taken many hours to place all of the heroine around and in your car. It was inundated with it. That and your story, nothing matched up.”

I started to cry again, thankful tears this time, no longer fear.

“And Senior Lopez, he has been arrested. Turns out he has done this multiple times to multiple other young women your age. I am sorry you got mixed up in this,” he said to me. “Are you going to be ok going back home now?”

I nodded. Then I looked at my phone. “I don’t suppose you found an iPhone charger when you were putting my car back together?”

Then I heard my name being shouted from a distance.


	16. Is There Somebody Who Can Watch You

"Brynn!!"

I looked around for the source and the American man standing at my car turned towards a tall man in black boots, jeans, and a grey t-shirt running across the highway towards my car. I recognized him immediately but I was so shaken, I had to be sure I was not seeing things. I scanned farther up his body and saw his long neck, then recognized his lips, those dark brown all-encompassing eyes and saw my Ross.

I slammed my car into park as I had left it in drive incase my fight or flight instinct got the best of me. I pushed open my car door nearly knocking the American out of the way and rushed across the hot concrete. Thankfully there were no cars coming at the time and ran into Ross’ arms. He engulfed me, squeezing me into him and held me tight.

“Bloody hell, Brynn. Where have you been?” He held me close to him, one hand on the back of my head boring it into his shoulder. “When you stopped texting me and your phone started going straight to voicemail, Matty and I rented a car in San Antonio and drove straight down here. I just saw your car. I’m so glad I saw your car,” he said into my hair. Then he pulled away from me and saw my face. It was blood spattered, tear stained, dirty and my eye was still swollen nearly shut and turning black and purple with slight hints of red and green adding to the gambit of colors it encompassed.

“What the hell happened to you?!” he whispered. He placed the palm of his hand against my unhurt cheek and cupped it slightly.

I started crying again and just fell into his arms. The American official motioned for Ross to walk me out of the middle of the street and towards him. Ross scooped me up in his arms and carried me towards him. Dan, as the official introduced himself to Ross, told him of my plight and the harrowing experience I had experienced over the past 36 hours. He could not fill him in exactly why my face was bruised however and told Ross he would have to ask me for more details.

Ross was angry, furious, his blood completely boiling at the story that was told to him. He wanted to find those responsible and beat them to bloody pulps. And then he looked at me, the obvious physical pain I was in and the less visible emotional pain I tried to hide. He held me in his arms, leaning against my car and let me cry. He asked me to tell him if I was ok, and I could only nod and clutch harder at him.

Matty pulled up beside us in a black Suburban. He leaned across the passenger seat and asked Ross if everything was ok. Ross could only nod to him and Dan suggested he pull over on the side of the road as well, which Matty did. When I lifted my head off of Ross’ shoulder and looked towards the car, I saw Matty, George and Adam walking towards us. I began to cry again.

_What if I had never seen these crazy boys again? And my Ross?_

Ross continued to cradle me in his arms and tried to fill the boys in as best as he could. He let Dan take over the story at one point when he teared up himself.

“She beat me,” I finally whispered.

“Who beat you, baby,” Ross asked me looking at me with every ounce of compassion he ever had.

“The Mexican lady,” I murmured, “She beat me, slapped me across the face with her hand and her fist. Then he fondled me.”

“Who!?” Ross hissed through his gritted teeth.

“Oh, that would be the man that I nearly killed,” Dan said, “and he will be hurting for weeks. I’m sure he will need plastic surgery on his face and his ribs were well broken. I hope I punctured a lung honestly.”

Ross gave Dan his contact information in case it was needed. Then he carried me to the suburban and laid me in the back seat. Adam volunteered to follow behind them driving the car I had rented and headed back to San Antonio Ross sat in the back seat with me, my head in his lap. He gingerly stroked my hair and they boys talked. They tried to not talk about what they had just learned had happened to me over the past day and a half, but it was impossible. I didn’t talk, I couldn’t. Shock had finally set in and I could hear the boys talking, but it only made sense every so often.

“Matty, as soon as we get to San Antonio, we need to find a hospital,” Ross said calmly.

“WHAT?! What’s wrong!?” Matty replied in a near panic. George whipped around in his seat and stared with huge eyes at me and Ross. Matty moved his mirror so he could see us better. He could see Ross, but he could not see my face. My eyes were closed anyways and I was ever so sleepy.

“I just need someone to look over Brynn. She is very pale and she seems to not be very coherent. My guess is that she is in shock, but I still want someone to look at her,” Ross told his bandmates.

The drive to San Antonio felt like a few minutes, but it was just slightly over an hour. Matty sped as much as he could, and traveling at 85 miles an hour with someone who had just had as rough a few days as I had just had was nothing to him. They were sure that any police officer would have given us an escort. Ross knew that I was not in need of an ambulance, but just getting checked over would be nice. Ross called my mom from his phone after I was able to give him the right number. She had not been panicked because she thought that I was just absorbed with my work. When Ross told her what had happened, I could hear my mother sobbing on the other end of the phone. Ross held his phone to my ear and my mom told me she loved me and that she would come to wherever I was if I needed her. I told her I loved her in some pretty slurred words and Ross took the phone back. He informed her that he would take excellent care of me. My mom being a nurse, assured Ross that he was making the right decisions by going straight to an emergency room and made him promise to let her know what was going on.

George googled the nearest hospitals and directed Matty to the Northeast Baptist Memorial emergency department right off of Interstate 35. Ross carried me in and I was back in a room very quickly. Doctors and nurses descended upon me, orders were shouted, and an IV was placed in my arm. Ross stood in the corner biting his fingernails and running his hands through his hair. I heard him ask a doctor if he had made the wrong decision waiting to bring me here, but the doctor reassured him that I was going to be fine, no harm had been done in waiting and they were going to do some quick tests to make sure that I was ok. He thought I was just dehydrated and fatigued from my experience and in need of some emotional support. The physician told Ross that the emotional support would be his job. Ross said he would be more than happy to accept.

X-rays were taken of my face as well as a CT scan with and without contrast and then an MRI of my entire head. They were looking for any damage to my bones and blood vessels. Not until all the tests came back negative did the physician reveal that they had been looking for blood clots or bleeds in my brain. Ross nearly collapsed himself when he heard that. I knew that he would have felt responsible had there been something wrong. The IV fluids had helped to perk me up a bit, but I was still very groggy and we were told I had a mild concussion. The repeated slaps and punches my face had taken had broken some very small veins around my eye, but other than that and some other below the surface bruising, I was going to be ok. They released me a few hours later and Ross had Matty take us to the hotel that he and George had reserved. Ross put my arm around his shoulders and his other arm underneath my arms and helped me walk. I was still a little weak on my feet and all I wanted to do was sleep.


	17. Head.Cars.Bending

All four of the boys followed us to the room that Ross and I were staying in and they just wanted to help. Matty got ice, George turned the bed down and Adam gathered a shirt of Ross’ for me to wear. Ross helped me to the bathroom and helped me change my clothes. Then he shooed all of them away. He carried me to the bed and gently laid me down on the soft mattress. He propped pillows behind my head and handed me the glass of water. I took small sips and then handed it back to him.

“Are you hungry, baby?” he asked me.

“No. I just want to sleep,” I told him. “Will you come hold me?”

“You bet,” he replied and stripped down to his knickers then climbed in the bed with me. I rolled on my side and cuddled into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. I drifted off very quickly in the warmth of his embrace vaguely hearing him tell me how much he loved me and would always take care of me.

The next morning when I awoke, my neck ached a bit. I realized I had not moved most of the night and my neck was cramped from the angle of sleeping on Ross’ chest. He was awake and looked down at me as I stirred. I was still slightly dizzy, but I felt better, refreshed at least. As I sat up, I realized how much my face ached. I could see better out of my eye, but only slightly. I held my hand over that eye and moaned just a bit.

“Does it hurt badly, Brynn?” he asked me.

“Not really, it just aches. My whole face aches.”

Ross told me that the white of my eye was very blood shot and that the doctor in the emergency department had told him that I might develop more bruises before they started to get better and that the swelling would start to go down in a few days. He had recommended ice for the first few days and then warm compresses after to help the bruise start to absorb.

We laid in the bed for a long while, Ross rubbing my back gently and letting me just be there. Finally he said to me, “I’m sorry Brynn, I’m so so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry, my love? You didn’t do this to me and no one could have known.”

“I should have gotten that bastards address when you told me that he was trying to feel up on you and then … and then when I didn’t hear from you anymore. I would hurt someone if they had ….”

“You don’t have to finish that sentence. I would have let you.”

We stayed in the bed most of the day, Ross only getting up to go get soup and water and fluff the pillows for me. Matty, George and Adam visited multiple times, but Ross would have them leave as soon as I showed any signs of fatigue and I did that a lot. I napped at least four times that day and he just held me. We turned on the TV, but as soon as the news cut to a story about three American’s that were murdered in Mexico, he turned it off. He did play in my favorite movies though from the pay per view feature. He watched Shakespeare in Love pretty much by himself as I dozed throughout it. He also played Divergent and said he really liked it and couldn’t wait for the next movie. I’m not sure what else he watched, but I thought I heard a soccer game in the background during one of my snoozes.

Ross had George find a Best Buy and get me a replacement charger for my iPhone. My mother called and Ross talked to her. I couldn’t find the energy to hold the phone and talk but Ross held it to my ear so I could at least tell my mom I was ok, recuperating and that I loved her. Matty brought me flowers and a stuffed blue bear. It was cute and I smiled, but smiling hurt my face. Ross helped me to the bathroom whenever I needed to use it and he was super cute. He would help me sit down by holding my hands as I squatted to sit, but he would turn his back when I would urinate. I avoided the mirror as I was not ready to look yet.

We slept nearly the same as the night previously, wrapped in each other. However, somewhere in the middle of the night, I rolled over and he spooned up against me. I pulled his arms around me wanting to feel his touch. The warmth of his body against my back was so nice. I had missed it so and wanted to never let him go.

On the second day, I felt much more myself. Ross started a shower for me and I stood under the warm water and just let it cascade over me. He stepped in still in his knickers and helped me wash my hair when I asked. He also helped me step out of the shower and wrapped a big fluffy towel around me and helped me dry off. Adam had retrieved my suitcase out of the car I had rented before he returned it. He said that that car rental place did not charge my credit card and would not be charging me a cent in regard to the car. They had passed along their regrets for what had happened to me. I just told Adam “thank you”. Ross picked out a pair of skinny jeans and one of my casual shirts and helped me dress.

“I want to eat some real food,” I told him. He offered to have some food sent in but I was ready for a change in scenery. That might have been a big mistake, because when we went down to the restaurant in the hotel lobby, everyone stared at me and the bruises on my face. They were starting to fade or so Ross had told me, but I still couldn’t look. The whispers and the stares were definitely starting to give me a complex and Ross asked for our food to be boxed up and sent to our room.

Finally, my boss called my phone. He had been talking off and on to Ross over the past few days checking to see how I was doing mentally and physically. My boss told me that I was to take as much time off as I needed and that he was filing any charges that he could against any one that he could. I knew there was not much he could do and I apologized for losing such a great piece of work. He assured me that the art was worth nothing when it put my life in danger. I was relieved to hear that as in the back of my mind, I had him blaming me for the entire thing.

I knew that taking three days away from the tour was going to be impossible for the boys, but they did it. They said that they just extended their tour an extra week and had postponed the dates for the cities that they missed. No one would miss out on a 1975 concert, they would just have to wait a few extra months. Ross begged me and told me he would just kidnap me (then apologized profusely) if I did not agree to stay on the tour bus with him for a least a few weeks. I never said no, I just let him grovel a bit because it was kind of fun to see him stammer and stumble over his words trying to talk me into something I would have easily said yes to.

On the fourth day, I finally looked in the mirror. The bruise around my eye was already starting to turn a bit green and I knew that it was fading. The swelling was almost gone and the bruises on my cheeks were fading as well. I could still see what looked like a hand print on one side of my face and traced it with my fingertips. I wouldn’t be able to cover this with makeup. Maybe a professional movie makeup job could do that, but not with the normal everyday stuff that I used. I cried. I knew that it would fade and no one would ever know that didn’t know what had happened, but I still cried as seeing the bruises reminded me and brought back those very fresh images of being struck over and over again by that bitch.

Ross held me and just let me sob. My eye swelled up more after I wept and he got me more ice. I curled into Ross’ lap and he held me again, rubbing my back while my chest heaved from the weeping. I must have finally fallen asleep because the next time I opened my eyes, the room was mostly dark except for the glow from Ross’ laptop. He was sitting at the only table in the room hunched over and reading something on the screen. His brow was furrowed and his lips were turned down in a frown.

“Hi,” I said to him.

“Hi, babe,” he replied back to me standing from the small table in the corner and strode across the room to me.

“What were you doing over there? The look on your face was so intense.”

“They arrested that man that caused all this,” he said quietly.

“Senior Lopez?” I questioned him.

“Yeah, they arrested him and he hung himself in his jail cell.”

“Good,” I said.

Ross hugged me then and said he agreed. Then he let me know that the tour buses were coming to meet us here at the hotel and we were going to be going to Santa Fe as our next stop. I had never been to Santa Fe and neither had Ross. It actually made me a little excited to know that I was going to be experiencing some new thing with him and be with him for more than three days in a row.

About two hours later, Matty knocked on our hotel room door and let us know that the buses had arrived. He hugged me gently and stroked the back of my head. “You are still my beautiful little sis,” he told me.

“Thanks, Matty,” I responded. He definitely was the big brother I had never had. I was so thankful that these men were my friends and had stopped their whirlwind rock star life to care for me. What more could a girl ask for in friends and a lover.


	18. Chapter 18

Life on a tour bus is not all glitz and glamour as one would think. I had thought that once, well for a long time actually. Even when Ross and I had first started dating, I still thought that life on a tour bus was cool. It was not cool.

First, it is near to impossible to get in and out of those stupid, tiny, matchbox size bunks when one is completely healthy. Throw in some bumps and bruises – impossible. I found myself sleeping on the bench that was called a couch. It was so not a couch.

Second, the bus always smells like a portapotty. Always.  Even after I had cleaned the entire thing with bleach from top to bottom, it still smelled like an outside toilet after a week in the sun at a festival. It was disgusting. But, I never told Ross. Not once.

Third, but not last, or least, was the bumps and bruises that one got when the driver was “driving” and I use that term loosely. If the tour bus had been the only vehicle on the road in the entire world, I am sure that this particular bus driver would still stop short at every single stop light and would gun it at every single green light. I became sick to my stomach because of it and vomiting on a moving tour bus in the middle of Texas in the worlds smelliest bathroom? Not glitz and glamour at all.

The boys schedule was so wicked crazy. Shows at quarter past nine in the evening, off stage by eleven, backstage to do whatever needed to be done: this included packing up, discussions with label, band and venue management, settling the bill, ensuring that the merch was handled correctly, showers, relaxing, dinner, brief meeting with the VIP pass holders, a lot of discussion on whether the boys would be meeting the hordes of fans waiting by the buses, business talk, settling the bills, making sure all the equipment was packed, etc., etc. And then maybe, somewhere around one or two o’clock in the morning, boarding the bus for some partying, talking, game playing, drinking and maybe if one is lucky, sleep around four or five in the morning somewhere on the road to the next venue.

Morning always came quickly. Sleep was short. I knew I was not healing like I should be and Ross noticed it after the third morning. Matty and Adam had to be at a radio station for an exclusive meet and greet and unplugged set. There was two more weeks of the North America tour and then back to the UK for a quick stop and then to New Zealand and Australia for the festivals. I was sitting on my bed, the bench/couch still wrapped in a blanket nursing a cup of hot tea that Ross had made for me a few moments earlier. He had perfected the most glorious cup of tea for his American girlfriend and he was not a tea maker or drinker – he said so himself. “I’m more of a beer guy,” he had said.

“Brynn, you are not sleeping well. I can see it in your face,” he said. “What can I do to make it easier for you?”

“I don’t know, Ross. I think I might need to go home for a few days,” I said shrugging my shoulders. “I want to be with you. I feel safe with you, but I’m not sleeping and maybe home is best?”

“Home. That sounds nice. We have two days off after tonight’s show. I can come with you.”

“I would love that,” I responded. The thought of being home alone had put this knot in my stomach that wouldn’t go away, but knowing that Ross would be with me eased that completely. “You will get to meet my mom and the rest of my family.”

Ross and I flew back to Michigan within 24 hours of our previous conversation. I slept like a log in my own bed for the first time in a long time. For the first time, I had Ross next to me in my bed in my very own living space. We had always been together in hotels or on the bus. This made me feel very domesticated but two days went very quickly. My family had wanted to dominate my time, but Ross had put a halt to that. Without being overbearing or mean, he asked my family to back off and give me, and him, time to heal and be together. While we had been together officially as a couple for a few months now, it had felt both like a whirlwind romance and the longest courtship all rolled into one.

“I want you with me, Brynn. I do not want to be apart from you. Not now, not ever,” he had said to me.

“That’s really not logical honey,” I said to him, touching his cheek with my palm. “I want to be with you always, but I have work and you have tour.”

So, we agreed to continue as we had before Mexico. I would travel to meet him when I could and he would do the same. We looked carefully at his schedule and at mine, which was always subject to change based on art that needed procuring, and we picked specific dates and places that we would meet. The next one would be in New York City. They were playing a secret show at the Empire State building and he did not want me to miss it. I did not want to miss it either. The 1975 was still my favorite band – I just happened to be in love with the bass player. Oh, and he happened to love me, too.

I cried when we made love that night. It was the first time we had even tried since Mexico. I was still healing and Ross was literally the sweetest, most understanding and the gentlest man in the world. He asked me before and after every kiss and every touch if it was ok and if I was ok. I cried not because of my wounds; I cried because of how tender the man I loved could be.

 


	19. Chapter 19

Life continued on for months for both Ross and I – apart and meeting as often as we could. Matty called me one day. It was not unusual for him to call me, but the nature of the call was unusual.

“He’s lonely, Brynn. He misses you desperately. Can you meet us in Kansas City tomorrow?” Matty asked me.

“I’m lonely too, Matty. I miss him desperately and if you promise not to tell him, put me on the guest list and I will be there!”

“Done!” Matty responded. We made some more small talk and I quickly arranged with my boss, Charlie to work remotely for the next few days. Charlie would basically let me do anything after Mexico, but I did not ever take advantage of it. He knew that I needed to see Ross and that there would be times that there would be little notice of me not being physically present for the job and it worked out well for us. I was no longer a junior partner and at 25, it was nearly unheard of. I liked blazing my own trails.

I flew into Kansas City the next morning, rented a car and a hotel room near the venue where the boys were playing, grabbed lunch and took a nap while I waited for Ross to call me for our usual 3 pm post-sound check chat. I knew that Ross would be catching a nap and doing whatever he needed/wanted to do before the show, but I would not miss our talk for anything. I tried not to give my location away which was difficult. I hated keeping things from him, but was able to do it, just barely.

For the show, I donned my tightest black skinny jeans, my sexiest boots – ones that were practical but said “fuck me” – you know those. I also had brought along my Ramones tank and wore another black tank underneath. I made sure that Ross’ rectangle necklace hung just perfectly as well. For makeup, I went with a natural smoky look, one that I was sure was one of Ross’ favorite makeup pallet combinations of my own design. I waited in line with all the other fans, giggled and talked about how hot the band members were. One girl about my age asked who my favorite was and I played her game a little and finally decided upon Ross. Her favorite was Matty of course, but I found that many of the girls around me favored George. One girl in her group asked if I was set on Ross and when I asked why, she was nice enough to remind me that he had been linked with some chick in the art world. I laughed and said that I remembered, but I still found him sexy as hell. When the doors opened, I walked to the door with the others, stated that I was on the guest list and was ushered past the others waiting and in a side door. At that point, I excused myself from the VIP treatment that had been demanded upon from Matty, who had not only put me on guest list but stating that I was VIVIP (very important very important person). I did not want to draw attention to myself so I politely said thank you and found the bar. A Mike’s Harder Lemonade in hand, I made my way to the midsection of the floor which was bustling pretty heavily. The diehard barrier girls and a few guys were in front already, but I did not want to be anywhere near that craziness. I hung off to the left side of the stage and made it up to about five rows back. Bad Suns opened and then another band that I was unfamiliar with. Then they began to set up for my favorite band.

I made small talk with the people around me, someone threw back water to those in the section where I was. I took a swig and passed it on up to the far front to the barrier bitches. They weren’t really bitches I hoped, just given that name because of how hard they fought for and to keep their barrier positions. I didn’t blame them, as I had been there once before about a year ago. No one recognized me which was great. There were pictures of me and Ross on Instagram and occasionally on Twitter and Tumblr, but most of the time, we really had been able to stay out of the spotlight.

And finally, I heard “that” noise. The buildup sound that preceded every The 1975 concert. Some of those around me had never seen the boys before. I was excited for them in all honestly. The boys put on one of the best shows I had ever seen. I was slightly biased, yes, but in all seriousness, it was a phenomenal sound and light show they were about to experience. And then it was time. The lights went down, the smoke machines were cranking and the intro blared. Then there was my babe. I saw his silhouette walk on stage, and he put his bass guitar strap around his neck and the lights went up and I screamed along with the other fans as hard as I could. It felt so energizing to see the love of my life up on stage rocking his heart out.

It took quite a few songs before it happened. It was during Settle Down when he finally looked at me. He was glancing at the crowd, bopping to his own beat as he played his chords. His eyes met mine and I blew him a kiss. He looked away, flustered I could tell. He really did not like other women to show him signs of affection. He had told me he thought it was inappropriate for them to do that to him. I reminded him he was a rock star and it would happen. It took another two songs before he looked my way again and this time, I wiggled my fingers at him. He smiled softly and looked at the others in the crowd around me. It took less than 10 seconds for him to bring his eyes back to mine and I smiled and waved again. He blinked hard twice and the smile that crept over his face was bigger than any I had ever seen grace his handsome mug ever before.

Matty had seen Ross’ expression change and followed his line of sight to me. We exchanged glances and smiles and the show continued. Ross had what you might call band sex with me on the stage. The girls that were around me were in heaven all thinking that they were looking at him. I just relished in the fact that I knew it was for me.

During their first intermission, before their first encore, I received a text from Ross.

“You brat!” it said.

I sent a smiley face and a heart back to him.

“I love you!” he responded.

Then they played four more songs and another quick intermission to finish up their set with Girls!, Chocolate and Sex – my absolutely favorite way to end the night ;)

Ross threw all but one of his picks to the audience but made one of the security detail hand me his last pick. One of the girls next to me tried to steal it out of my hand and then security detail told her that she better back off. Then he winked at me. Leon, one of the crew who helped set up and take down, handed me Ross’ set list which had a note written at the top.

“I was told to give this to you,” he said reaching over many other heads and hands to get it to me. “Ladies! Ladies! Not you, no! Let go, it is for her, yes, you,” Leon said reaching around and through some of the octopus arms.

“Come back stage. Love, Ross” said the note at the top. All the girls around me were ready to claw my eyes out.

“Why does she get it? She doesn’t deserve it!” one of the girls said spitting the words in my face.

“Why doesn’t she deserve it?” Leon said back.

“Why does she get special treatment?”

“Because she is Ross’ girl, that’s why,” Leon continued. The girls all groaned and moaned, cursed under their breath. One even asked me to take her with me for Matty, but they moved out of the way finally.

“Sorry girls. I’ve got to go see my man,” I said to them as Leon helped me over the barrier.


	20. Chapter 20

“I cannot believe you are here. You are so sneaky!” Ross exclaimed when he saw me.

“It was Matty’s idea. And I missed you,” I said kissing his full luscious lips over and over again. He had backed me against a wall in some dark corridor at the venue. Ross was molesting my bum with his hands. He parted my legs and raised my hips so that I had to put my legs around his waist. He ground his pelvis against my crotch and I felt the hardness his jeans held within.

“You looked hot as fuck out there in the aud, gyrating your hips, hands in the air and your perky breasts bouncing to the beat. I wanted to jump off the stage and jump your bones right there,” he whispered into my ear. The heat of his breath and the way he was grinding into my pelvis produced an immediate response that nearly soaked through my jeans.

“Oh fuck,” I sighed as he sucked on my ear lobe.

“That’s the plan,” he responded, his voice gruff and deep. “All night, baby, all fucking night,” he growled.

“God damn, let’s get out of here,” I sighed.

“My place or yours,” he chuckled before he suckled on my neck.

“My place. Hotel. Close,” I breathed as he continued to ravage my neck and move his way down towards my chest all while grinding his pelvis into me.

“Walking?” he said looking up at me and pulled my tops down exposing my right breast.

“Rented a car. Less than 10 minutes. Oh jesus, for fucks sake,” I groaned as he pulled my nipple into his mouth and lightly bit.

“Let’s go,” he said but continued to ravage my breasts for another full minute. We composed ourselves quickly, ran past the green room on the way out. I did not apologize for not staying, just said I wasn’t staying and Matty screamed back that he was glad I came. I could hear the laughter as we sprinted away hand in hand.

“They know,” I said almost embarrassed but not quite.

“Of course they know. If I had found a donut that looked like you, I would have fucked it tonight. I’ve missed you so much, Brynn,” he said as we reached the parkade. He pushed me against the brick wall and thrust his tongue into my mouth. I laced my fingers in his belt loops and pulled him against me and gyrated my crotch against his leg. “Where’s your fucking rental?” he gasped.

“Right there,” I said pointing at the blue Chevrolet.

“Not big enough,” he said as he sized up the backseat.

“It’s fast enough though,” I said getting the car started as fast as possible.

Let’s just say, foreplay in a car can be the hottest thing in the world when you know what is coming afterwards. Ross fondled and suckled my right breast the whole way to the hotel. I rubbed his crotch and tried to put my hand inside his pants multiple times. We full on made out at red lights, rubbed each other and verbally expressed our desire to be fucking right that very minute. I felt like I had never wanted him more than that very moment.

The walk from the parked car into the hotel was filled with making sure there was no indecent exposure and the ride up the elevator re-exposed all those previously tucked away parts.

“Room number?” Ross asked as the hotel reached the right floor.

“510,” I said and then forced my tongue back in his mouth. He picked me up, wrapped my legs around his waist and walked as fast as he could halfway down the long hallway. I fumbled for the keycard in my back pocket, dropped my keys, Ross bent over with me still straddling him and picked them back up and opened the door in one fell swoop. The door was slammed shut as he pushed my back against it, stripped my tanks over my head pinning my arms there as well. He ravaged both of my breasts with his mouth again while holding my arms up. I could not help but sigh loudly.

“Oh fuck, Brynn, I’ve missed that sound,” he said and finally let go of my arms to lock the door behind me. I pulled at his t-shirt which he finally allowed me to pull over his head. He turned with me still wrapped around his waist and in two steps had me flat on the bed and kissing his way down my now naked abdomen. He unbuttoned my jeans and attempted to peel them off of me.

“Let me, let me,” I said as he moved off to the side and allowed me to rip my boots and my own jeans off while he stripped down completely as well. He smiled widely when he realized I had no underwear on. I laid back down on the bed, my head right beneath the pillows.

“No panties?” he asked as he knelt on the end of the bed and began to crawl up my body.

“None,” I replied and wound my fingers into his soft brown hair. “Less to remove.”

“Fuck,” he hissed. He pushed my knees up as he crawled further up my body and planted a full open mouthed kiss on my cunt. He added a little flick of his tongue up my center and around my clit as he continued his climb up my body. I moaned and pulled his hair slightly as he dipped his tongue into my navel. He paused his upward climb to suckle on my pink peaks momentarily and then finished his ascent with the softest, most passionate kiss coupled with sliding his manhood in my tight, wet hole.

I wrapped my legs around his hips and he moved at a steady pace pulling his cock to almost completely outside of my hole and then thrust it back in with a sharp press of his hips.

“I fookin missed you, babe,” he said as he transitioned his mouth from mine to my neck.

“I fucking, oh!, missed you, OH!, too!” I said back to him as his plunging built the pressure in my crotch. I exploded with a fervor to rival that of a grenade I am sure. I saw light trails and felt dizzy, but my hips began to match his movements and I rose off the bed and provided a different angle and immediately came again. Ross continued the rotation of my pelvis upwards by bring my knees over his shoulders. He pounded into me and I held onto my legs. He could no longer reach my mouth or any other part of my body so he pulled my fingers into his mouth and suckled and nibbled. I came repeatedly as he pounded his cock into my cunt. I was so wet that it made a slurping sound and he smiled and sucked harder on my fingers.

Without warning, Ross pulled out of me and guided my body to face away from him.

“On all fours,” he growled.

“Oh fuck, yes,” I said. He could fuck me from behind forever as far as I cared. His cock went deeper in that position and he rubbed up against all of the goodies inside that made me come over and over again. I held onto the sheets ready for the ride of my life and he did not disappoint. I had learned to not count my orgasms with him as I would lose count and one would build so much what should be multiple would be one long ten or twenty-minute orgasm. Seriously.

He continued to pound his cock into me while alternating playing with my tits or my clit for the longest time. No clue how long but long enough that I found my head hitting the headboard he had scooted us that far up the bed with his thrusting. The sound of the squelching from my wetness coupled with the moans and groans we both made must have made our neighbors night either bad or good. I was not trying to be quiet and neither was Ross. And he continued to tell me how good I felt, how he had missed me, missed my cunt being wrapped around his cock and that made me come harder and harder.

After a while, Ross gently removed himself from me again, gently turned me over and kissed me lazily.

“Did you come?” I asked him. I wondered if I had been so wrapped up in my continuous orgasm that I had missed it or had he not reached his climax yet.

“No, I’m not done with you yet,” he whispered in a deep Scottish accent.

“Oh,” I said with a smile on my face. He crawled down between my legs and licked my fleshy folds up and down the center and dipped his tongue into my soaking wet entrance. He lapped at the moisture that had gathered there and made no attempt at making it a quiet task. He moaned and slurped at me and then fixed his attention on my clit. He held my lips apart with his fingers and the small pod gently between his teeth and flicked it up and down and sideways with his tongue until my legs were shaking with spasms. The orgasm he created caused me to nearly lurch off the bed, but he held my torso down with his large but gentle hands and continued to flick at my bean until I came again, this time fluids gushing from my center.

“Oh babe,” he said licking at the newly created moisture, “you taste so fookin good.”

“Oh bloody hell,” I said. “I think I’m dead, or in heaven, or both,” I said turning my head side to side and holding his head between my legs with both hands.

He started to climb back up my torso again. “What do you want, babe?” he asked me.

“Just fuck me,” I said,” I don’t care how,” I continued as his face hovered over mine. “Let’s do this forever,” I said.

“Sign me up,” he replied as he slid his cock back inside me. He took it slow this time, but momentum built and he was soon slapping his balls against my ass again and I was coming repeatedly screaming his name as if it were divine.

When he finally reached his release, his body shook and he buried his head in my neck and held me tightly as if I would get away. I felt his orgasm though my very soul, his cock spasming inside of me and creating a different sensation that had been felt before.

We rested for a great while, still in each other’s arms, him on top of me, until we felt his erection subside and he slowly slid out of me. His release began to run down my ass crack, but I did not care about the feeling or the condition of the sheets below us. There was another bed where we could sleep, or fuck again for that matter.

“Best, fuck, of, my, life,” he finally said very quietly.

“Why, thank you sir,” I said in my best fake Texas accent.

“I mean it, best fuck of my life,” he repeated still slowly but a little less quiet. He raised his head and rested on his elbows his face just above mine.

“I will take that as a compliment,” I responded and smiled up at him, my fingertips trailing along his back. He closed his eyes and felt my skin against his and smiled back down at me as he opened his eyes.

“It is a compliment. We’ve made love many times before, the best of my life I’ve told you, but that, THAT was good old fashioned fucking and it was the best FUCK of my life!” he said raising his voice slightly at the last little bit.

“Mine too,” I told him and kissed his lips.

“I want to put babies in you one day,” he said quietly looking down into my eyes.

“What?” I said a little shocked.

“Babies. I want to put babies in you one day. I want to fuck, just like that, or make sweet sweet love and get you pregnant. I want to spill my seed in you and have it take hold of one of your eggs and have babies with you,” he said, dead staring me in my eyes.

“You do?” I said quietly back up to him.

“Yeah, I do. I want to get married and have children. Have you ever thought about that?” he said quietly as he gently rolled off of me and gathered me in his arms. I turned on my side and placed my head on his chest and played with the dark hair on his abdomen around his navel.

“I have thought about it, yes,” I said into his chest a smile growing on my face.

“You have? Really?” Ross said to me raising his head to look down at me.

“Of course. Women in love often think about those things.”

“Would you want to do those things with me some day?” Ross said not wasting any time getting to the subject.

“I would, of course, yes, I would, but,” I said.

“But?” he interrupted.

“But,” I repeated, “the timing on the first part would be all up to you.”

“What do you mean?” he whispered into the top of my head now resting on his chest again.

“I mean, the whole asking part. That is up to you. I think I am kind of a traditionalist when it comes to that. It is all up to you. Then when, where, how.”

“Oh. Ok. Yeah, okay!”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said and kissed the top of my head.

We fell asleep in each other’s arms and I awoke to feeling Ross’ fingers dancing up and down my spine. We were both quickly aroused and made love with me riding a top him and him fondling my clit bringing me to orgasm the same time he came inside me. We moved to the fresh bed, crawled under the coverlet and held each other tight as we drifted off to sleep.

The next time we awoke, it was to the daylight peeking through the curtains. We dragged ourselves out of bed and into the shower where we soaped up each other’s bodies and Ross entered me from behind and coherence another orgasm from both of us. Ross rinsed our bodies with the hand held shower head while still inside of me moving to a gentle rhythm. He exited me only long enough to move me from the shower to the counter top where he placed a rolled towel between my pelvis and the sharp edge of the counter before plowing me hard. I screamed in ecstasy as I came over and over again and watched his face and body move behind me and into me in the mirror in front of us. We were both more than satiated when we reached our final climax in front of that mirror, him placing small kisses up and down my back as my walls spasmed around him and he spasmed inside of me.


	21. Green Room Quickies

The next day, Ross and I drove to St. Louis from Kansas City. He had intentionally missed his bus call time and we took a leisurely drive to the next show city. He was almost late for sound check, but I think he might have been forgiven in all honesty if he had missed it. There was a meet and greet for a few fans after an acoustic show that Matty and Adam attended at the local radio station and George and the rest of the band and crew were sleeping on the bus, so Ross and I took advantage of the green room.

“We never fulfilled our green room second and third time,” Ross whispered into my ear as I sat on his lap in one of the leather chairs. His hands had been lazily caressing my back and my legs as we made out in the chair. There was a tall refrigerated cooler full of multiple types of drinks including my favorite as well as his. We had each had no less than three or four already and were feeling quite buzzed, partially from the alcohol and partially from being a little sleep deprived and a lot from being in love and wanting each other in a deep carnal way.

“Wrong green room,” I chuckled. It had definitely been a posh green room in Paris and this one didn’t come close, but damn if I didn’t want this man again. I honestly wanted him all the time.

Ross’ hands continued to wander over my body, up my bare arms and when he reached the nape of my neck, he pulled me in for a deep, passionate kiss.

We made love in that chair, me straddling him with my mini skirt pulled up around my waist and his jeans pooled around his ankles. Ross suckled my breasts and when his ass stuck to the leather of the chair when he tried to fuck his hips up into me, he stood with me straddling him and gently laid me on the plush carpet and began to beat a rhythm into me with his hips until I had come repeatedly and he finally could hold off no longer and spewed his seed into me. We hurriedly redressed in the green room bathroom when we heard someone coming down the hall.

 

Ross wore the silliest smile during the entire show that night. I stood on the side of the stage and watched him dance and sway to the beat of his bass guitar. When he could, he would sneak to the side and kiss me passionately.

“Can you ride on the bus with me tonight?” he asked right after the show. I told him that I could, my schedule was free and it had been a long time since I had ridden with the guys on the bus.

We cuddled in the little tiny bunk that Ross was assigned to that night. I had on only a pair of my underwear and one of his shirt, thinking ahead that he might want easy access. I was right and not shocked when he climbed in with only his black boxer briefs on.

“Why did you want to ride on the bus tonight?” I asked him when he briefly pulled away from kissing me soundly.

“Because I wanted to see how quiet you can be,” he replied wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

“Uh! You are bad, Ross MacDonald!” I whispered.

“Oh baby, you have no idea. I’m going to make you come repeatedly and you can’t make a sound,” he breathed in my ear.

“That’s impossible,” I nearly squealed as he began fondling one of my breasts the same time he was assaulting my ear lobe with his teeth.

“You have to,” he whispered into my ear. We will get kicked off the bus if you don’t, and I want to make love to you all night long on this rocking, swaying and lurching bus. It might actually enhance things,” he breathed again. His breath was already hitching and I could tell it was something that he had actually thought about.

“You want to create memories for when we’re not together, don’t you?” I finally understood.

“Yes. Brynn, I miss you so badly when we are not together. To have something real to dream about, remember, would help immensely,” he sighed now looking deep into my eyes.

I might have mentioned how impossible it is to live on a tour bus. Well, it is almost nearly more impossible to make love in a tour bus bunk, and on top of that, to do it quietly.

I found that my orgasms were so much more intense when I could not be loud. It was like not really getting that release completely and they kept building more and more. Ross had to put his hand over my mouth multiple times, give me a pillow to bite and scream into as well as shush me over and over again. He would take me to the precipice of the canyon, just about let me fall into it and then slow his rhythm or stop completely. I thought I was going to die and or burst when he finally let me complete my first orgasm.

And that night, between the booze, the sex and the rocking motion of the bus, I slept like a baby in the arms of my lover, Ross MacDonald, the bassist from The 1975, the love of my life and a true rock and roll sex god.


	22. Chapter 22

“Hello?” I said into my phone. I had no clue who was calling – did not recognize the number but that happened often to me, working in the art world and dating a rock star.

“Is this Brynn Dupree?” said the woman on the other end of the line.

“Yes, this is Brynn.”

“Miss Dupree, my name is Sage Willow. I work at Interscope Records,” she said.

“Yes, Ms. Willow. What can I do for you?”

“Well, it is actually what I can do for you, Miss Dupree,” she said.

“Um, ok. I’m not sure what you mean ….” I was completely puzzled. I had no idea what she was asking. I juggled my phone in one hand and my coffee in the other as I flipped through the portfolio in front of me.

“I am calling to give you the next set of arrangements from Mr. MacDonald. I have been instructed to inform you that there will be a car to pick you up at your home address tomorrow morning at 9 am to carry you to the airport.”

“Ok, that is fine. But, why is Ross not calling me himself?” I inquired. Ross had always either texted or called me with a potential schedule change, and never a schedule change with such short notice.

“Mr. MacDonald is otherwise pre-occupied, Miss Dupree. I have also been instructed to tell you to pick one of the items that was delivered to your home earlier today, and then to pack that item in the carry on that Mr. MacDonald has prepared for you. That item is awaiting you in your lounge.”

“This is so mysterious and not like Ross at all. I’m going to call him, Ms? Ms. Willow was it?”

“As I have previously mentioned, Mr. MacDonald is otherwise pre-occupied, Miss Dupree. My instructions are to inform you of the arrangements and ensure that you are delivered to the airport on time. Will these arrangements be satisfactory, Miss Dupree?”

“Um, yes, they are satisfactory,” I said as I put my coffee down on my desk and looked across the room at my boss. He was staring at me now, surely in part due to the look on my face as well as the one side of the conversation he could hear.

“Thank you, Miss Dupree. You are to wear the item you do not chose to pack, do you understand?”

“Yes, I understand. Pack one, wear one. Check,” I said making a saluting motion with my hand over my right eye. Sage Willow could not see this, but it made my boss chuckle. Then the call was abruptly ended after some brisk and gruff goodbye’s and all I could do was shake my head.

“Leaving somewhere?” my boss asked.

“Uh, yeah, I guess so. Very mysterious. Ms. Sage Willow from Interscope Records has informed me that I am to pick one and wear one of the items that were delivered to my home earlier today. Wait, that means someone was in my home today. Someone that I don’t know? Or maybe Ross? Maybe Ross is at the house waiting on me! That would be a nice surprise for sure! Can I leave early today, Charlie?”

Even though it was 2 in the afternoon, I was headed home and off of work for the rest of the day and likely the rest of the week. I thumbed through my phone at Ross’ schedule to find he had no show tonight but they were recording at a studio in Denmark tomorrow. I wondered if that was where I was headed. I pulled him up in my contact list and was surprised when he answered on the first ring.

“Hi!” he said quietly and slightly out of breath.

“Hi yourself, mister mysterious. I’m surprised you answered,” I replied, a huge grin on my face.

“I only have like two seconds, we are laying down some tracks, but I can never resist hearing your voice,” he said quietly.

“Where am I off to tomorrow?” I asked.

“Not telling. It’s a surprise and I shouldn’t be talking to you now. I do have to run, but I will see you later, ok?”

“Ok, but this is all so weird Ross. Is everything ok?”

“Everything is great,” he whispered again. “I love you. See you soon.” Then the phone disconnected.

“I love you, too,” I said as the line disconnected. I could not help but smile and wonder what on earth he was up to.

Sure as Ms. Sage Willow had described, there was my carry on, already packed and sitting in my foyer (or lounge as the British liked to call it). Hanging next to it was two outfits. One was a beautiful short black dress, laser cut outs on the bodice that would highlight any woman’s bust and the other was a soft pink high low dress that would accentuate any woman’s leg line. I chose to wear the black dress and pack the pink dress. I loved them both, knew that Ross had picked them to accent different parts of my body. I wondered what the occasion was but knew that the black dress would be better fit for an evening occasion.

When I had showered and readied myself the next morning, I prepared to slip into the little black dress and found a note tucked into the back at the bottom of the zipper.

“ _Do not wear until the plane is about to land_ ” it said.

I was so puzzled I really didn’t know what to do. I looked inside the pink dress out of curiosity and it said the same thing. So, instead of wearing the black dress, I put on my jeans, my Italian black flats and a dark grey t-shirt with a long flowy black wrap and waited for the car to arrive.

Promptly at 9 am, my door buzzer rang and a gentleman in a black suit and little black hat helped me pack my suitcase into the limousine that was parked outside.

“Hello, miss,” the gentleman said to me. “My name is Roger and I have a message for you. I have been instructed to ask you if you have your passport? If not, you are to please bring it with you.”

“I do have my passport, thank you, Roger. Please call me Brynn.”

“Yes, Miss Brynn. Shall we?” he said motioning to the seat inside the door he held open.

“Thank you,” I responded and chuckled. All this formal pomp and circumstance was so not like me and not like Ross, but I liked it. It was kind of cute.

The trip to the airport was less than an hour, but instead of being dropped off at the passenger departures area, Roger drove down a small side road and we arrived at a hanger full of smaller planes. There I was asked to board a small Lear jet and informed that we would arrive in Los Angeles in approximately 1 pm California time. I was encouraged to sleep on flight, but I found it difficult to do so. The seats were more comfortable than the most comfortable couch I had ever reclined on and the service was phenomenal. I was the only passenger so it would have been difficult to mess up honestly. When the attendant told me that we would be landing in about half an hour, I stood to go slip into the black dress as instructed. However, I was then instructed that this was not the final leg of my journey and I would be boarding another plane when we arrived in Los Angeles. The attendant was unable to tell me where the final leg of my journey would carry me.

Once the Lear jet landed, I was whisked away to another area of the gigantic Los Angeles airport and ushered onto a standard sized 747. No one told me where to sit nor gave me a boarding pass, so I walked to the main section of the aircraft and looked for an open seat. I was surprised to find that many of the seats were empty. I sat in an aisle seat and leaned over to a robust man sitting across from me and asked where the flight was headed. He chuckled and said “Thailand of course”.

I sat in shock. I had never been to Thailand. Even in all of my travels, I had never made it to one of my dream countries. I wondered if it was my final destination. Then suddenly, a flight attendant was ushering me out of the seat I had chosen and into the front section of the plane. I had a brief flash that I was in the wrong place, on the wrong plane. I knew nothing and it was to my surprise that the attendant motioned for me to sit in a first class seat. I was served champagne, given hot towels for my face and hands, as well as an eye mask to encourage sleep. I asked which city we would be landing in and the attendant put her finger over her lips and shook her head. She said she was instructed to not answer that question for me and smiled very largely. She did say that she had been instructed to encourage me to sleep and that she would wake me when it was time to change.

I did sleep. I was exhausted. And the champagne helped. Before I knew it, I was being roused and encouraged to quickly change. As I struggled to put on the tiny dress in the tiny bathroom, I giggled, took a selfie in the mirror and sent it to Ross. I was stuck – my arm in the air in the dress that was pulled part way down my torso – I still had my jeans on so it was ok if someone else saw it. I laughed hysterically and finally one of the attendants asked if I was ok. I opened the door, she squeezed in and helped me wriggle my way out of the current puzzle of the black dress.

I had been traveling for nearly 24 hours by this point, so I washed my face, applied make up that looked halfway decent and fixed my hair. I had had it up most of the trip so it fell nicely around my face in its natural partially curled state. I looked good surprisingly. Then I realized I did not have any shoes, only to my relief to find the cutest pair of high heel strap on's in the bottom of the dress bag. 

It was nearly an hour later when I found myself being escorted out of another black limousine and down a stairway leading to what I was sure was a beach. It was extremely dark but I could see the flicker of light off in the distance and I could hear the soft sound of waves crashing against what I hoped was sand and not rocks.

When my eyes finally focused on what was in front of me, I was in shock. There, on the beach in a little town called Koh Samui, stood the man of my dreams surrounded by glass lanterns of different sizes containing candles which illuminated the four poster gazebo draped with sheer white netting and held open with white roses and greenery clad tie backs securing them to the four posters. Inside the gazebo was a small table and two chairs gilded in white linen, candles adorning the table decorated with the most beautiful place settings, again in all white.

I knew that my jaw hung slack. The sight was something to behold and I could not believe that my Ross had put together something so romantic, just for me. I took off my shoes to walk through the sand, and as I approached him, I could see his beautiful smile and the candle light twinkling in his soft brown eyes. He wore an off white linen suit and black tie. He too was shoeless. His pants legs were rolled up just to his ankles and I giggled as he dug his toes in the sand. It was almost as if he were doing it to keep himself upright, I thought to myself. I walked to him, as fast as I could through the deep sand, but as I approached, he took a step back farther from me for every step I took towards him. Finally, he stopped just outside of the gazebo. He had his hands in his pockets and he just stood there and smiled at me. Then, as I took the last two steps towards him, he bent down and rested on one knee. For a moment, I thought he was injured. Perhaps he had stepped on a sharp shell or a crab.

I stood in front of him, still my mouth agape. “Are you ok?” I said sucking the air in. I reached down towards him and then I realized he had knelt down on purpose. It was that moment that I saw the box he held in his hand. I looked at it, then looked at his eyes, then his mouth – his beautiful mouth in a huge grin.

“What on Earth?” I gasped.

“Brynn Michelle Dupree, you are the love of my life. You have changed my life more than I could have ever imagined. You made me a better man that I ever thought I could be. You are the light of my life. You brighten my days and most certainly my nights. You bring me happiness. You put a song in my heart where there never was one before. I want to sing with you, play with you in the sand and the ocean. I want to visit places together that we have never visited before. I want a lifetime of adventure with you. I never want to spend another day apart from you and I am hoping that you will consent to being my wife. I love you more than life itself. Will you marry me?”

I do not really remember what happened immediately or in the right order after that other than I think I screamed a little, maybe a lot. I know that I jumped at Ross kneeling there in the sand before me and we cried together after I knocked him flat and kissed every square inch of his face saying yes over and over again. We eventually composed ourselves enough to wipe away the sand laden tears and for him to slip the most gorgeous ring on my left ring finger, which fit perfectly by the way.

We cried and drank champagne and kissed and laughed a lot that evening. Ross told me that he had rushed through laying down his parts for the song they were tracking. He had been planning an elaborate proposal for months and finally the opportunity presented itself. He told me every detail that he had arranged, and the backups if the details had failed. I fell more in love with him with every word he told me of his effort in showing his love for me.

Making love with Ross that night was like no other time before. It was romantic and sexy and erotic and took place with only one fine piece of jewelry adorning my left ring finger. His skin was warm and soft against mine as he thrust his hips towards my pelvis plunging his manhood as deep inside me as it would go. His hands with the small callouses cupped my breasts and his fingers gently pinched my nipples as he looked at me from between my legs, his tongue furiously circling my clit begging me to find my release. His hands grasped my hips and his balls gently slapped against my cunt as he plunged deep inside me as I screamed into the bedsheets coming over and over again. His fingers laced through my hair gently pulled as I drew more and more of his manhood deep into my hot mouth and throat. And his brown eyes bored holes in my soul as he stared at me telling me he loved me with all of his being when we finally came together.

**Author's Note:**

> In the midst of reworking some chapters and completing this work - finally!


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